Shroom trip report: LOVE

[Peo]

So the next day after my "Insanity trip" I had a strong gut feeling day that I need to do 3.5 gram shrooms again. I had some anxiety, but decided that I had no choice. Within 30 min after consumption i started to feel the effects. Not much visuals, but for some reason colors from flowers and sky started to seem even brighter. It was like someone turned up the brightness of colors inside my brain. Reality started to seem like a rainbow. I was in awe of how beautiful reality truly is. 

Here is my last trip if you want to read it: 

 

30 min after onset my mind went silent. I just sat in the chair observing followers, buildings and the sky. Then my awareness and intelligence increased. I suddenly got this power to think more clearly than ever. It was like my eyes finally opened up for the first time. I started to develop curiosity for reality. I just sat there contemplating different questions about my personal life mainly and existence. So I asked these questions: “What is my purpose in life?”. “Why am I doing anything at all?” Then I realized that the reason everyone in life is doing anything at all is because of LOVE. I actually don't know why, but i just sat there and all of the sudden I was in love with myself and existence. My love for existence and everyone just expanded to a higher level. 

Looking at existence and listening to the silence, I realized that I am all alone. Everyone is imaginary. I even hesitated to post this report since, wtf is the point if i am all alone. I was just sitting with tears running down my face. Could never fathom that love is so bloody beautiful. I realized unconditional love for existence and everyone. Devils and the so-called evil people are doing it for love. Hell, torture, rape, murder and even suffering is love and beauty. (Disclaimer i don't justify rape or murder, i only report what i exprience in this trip)

I started to fall in love with myself. I realized that i am complete and perfect as iam. Love is the only thing you need. You don't need friends, women, sex, money and fame. Love is all you need. The reason for people being unhappy is because of a lack of love. I started to legit feel invincible. I did not even care if I died. Nothing could hurt me since I was so deeply in love with existence and myself. Love is there for all eternity, so there would be nothing for me to lose or gain at that point.  

Everyone is just trying to express love in their own way. So I could see that my purpose in life is to express my love for reality in my own meaningful way. For example, a life- purpose  can be a way to express love. Either by doing something selfless or selfish. It's all the same. I had empathy and love for everyone. Even the most evil acts I would love. Evil does not exist, it's just love. 

Anyway, love did not just affect me psychological, but also physical. I started to feel a comfortable cozy warm feeling all over my body. I started to feel warm in my body even though the temperature decreased during nighttime. I was uncomfortable in my body, but the pain turned into physical euphoria. I am not sure how to explain how pain becomes euphoria. It is like suffering and euphoria becomes the same, I could no longer tell the difference between the two. 

I started to get mental clarity, I started to feel sober or normal. I was able to think straight with much more awareness. So i was like to myself: fu*k it i am going to take my dog for a walk up the mountains in middle of the night on a Monday while on the peak. I started to cry while walking, realizing how goddamn beautiful love is. I was like just keep repeating to myself, “holy fuck, is this real”. So I would walk for 2 hours with my dog, just taking in the sights and falling in love with everything. 

Anyway this trip was so shockingly beautiful that I still have a hard time believing love and beauty could be so WOW. There are no words for it. Wow is the best word to describe my trip

Lesson I have learned: I need to be able to first develop my love for myself before I can expand my love for others. Love is the one true thing I truly need in life to be happy. How much hate is robbing me of my own happiness. I have now a desire to develop my love for myself and the world. Also I started to realize that I need to put up boundaries and respect myself enough to not let unconscious people drag me down in life. Dont be a people pleaser. A people pleaser lacks respect and love themselves. Also this trip would have never happened had it not been for this gut feeling telling me i need to do shrooms today, after a bad trip. 

Don't get me wrong, i am just stracthing the surface of understanding love. I am not going to claim i am awakened. I am far from done. 

[Leo Gura]

Good, but if your dose wasn't actuallt 3.5g because you had tolerance from the day before. So effectively this tolerance lowered your dose, which is probably why you had a good trip.

So next time you trip keep your dose around 2g.

[Peo]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

So next time you trip keep your dose around 2g.

Is the goal not to slowly increase the dose to reach higher altered states of consciousness. I am not sure how much a dose affects how awakened a person is. I always assumed I needed to increase my dose to like 5 grams or higher before I could reach awakening. Would it not be more reasonable to lower my dose to 2.5 then?

[ndm678]

 

1 hour ago, Peo said:

 Would it not be more reasonable to lower my dose to 2.5 then?

https://www.shroomery.org/6257/Magic-Mushroom-Dosage-Calculator

According to this calculator (and your dosage weights) your second trip would have been in the 1.35g range.

Thank you for sharing your trip reports ??. Love is a fun element to dig deeper into.
 

 

[vibv]

3 hours ago, Peo said:

Is the goal not to slowly increase the dose to reach higher altered states of consciousness. I am not sure how much a dose affects how awakened a person is. I always assumed I needed to increase my dose to like 5 grams or higher before I could reach awakening. 

Nah, that's a myth. Don't listen to stuff like "you need to take a heroic dose" or such bullshit. Everybody's different and needs their own pace. It is also very personal to your psyche and body what a high dose to you would be, nobody else can tell you that. You could even experiment with even lower doses to see how that feels.

Taking too high of a dose can be more detrimental to your progress than taking a dose that's too low, because you run the risk of having a bad experience that may scare you away for a longer period of time. If the dose was too small it can simply be repeated a week later or so. 

Traumatic experiences happen when your mind is not able to remain sufficiently fluid during an intense trip because you bit off more than you can chew, get scared and tense up. Take it slow, there's absolutely no need to rush.

You can have amazing experiences with low doses. In my personal experience a low dose can be much more enjoyable and easier to work with. High dose trips have their place, but don't attempt them if you don't know exactly what you're doing and are quite experienced already.

Edited September 21, 2023 by vibv