How to stop losing control?

[at_anchor]

Sometimes I lose control of my speech with certain people that trigger me for some reason and I lose control of my tonality and what I say. I wish I was better to someone I love in communicating that love.

I also lose control when I see bread, shit like cake, cookies and stuff that is like poison to the mind. I get hungry eithout that.

How to think before we act impulsively and as a result lose interest easily in this? 

I heard that if you are gonna get angry and do sometging stupid, turn away from the person and breathe in deep ten times. I can't do that for sugar and flour made things. Feel free to skip answering, I'm gonna eat this sweet delicious thing anyway. White meat never makes me full. I don't know how to make a proper diet if I am back to eating a lot.

[TheCloud]

In terms of diet, I find the key is to find the flavors and textures that are connected to my cravings.  For example, crispy, or sweet, or fresh.  Then find a nutritious or at least benign source for that sensation.  For example, on a low-carb diet, pork rinds can provide the crunchy sensation that would otherwise be satiated with potato chips.

 

So cake might be "soft" and "sweet".  You don't necessarily need to fulfill both these cravings with one food;  you could find something healthy that's soft, and something else healthy that's sweet, and together those foods replace the less healthy cake.

[at_anchor]

4 hours ago, TheCloud said:

In terms of diet, I find the key is to find the flavors and textures that are connected to my cravings.  For example, crispy, or sweet, or fresh.  Then find a nutritious or at least benign source for that sensation. 

That is really a good idea!

5 hours ago, TheCloud said:

So cake might be "soft" and "sweet".  You don't necessarily need to fulfill both these cravings with one food;  you could find something healthy that's soft, and something else healthy that's sweet, and together those foods replace the less healthy cake.

Bananas never made for it. I like the bread in the cake, so basically, I like the texture of sweet bread the most. Soft stuff, except maybe pudding, I dislike. And I do not like fried bread like doughnuts.

I don't think anything can replace this, but if eating meat is ethical and I can do it, why not be on a diet with pork, peanuts, pottatoes and veggies? Pork fat is not a healthy, but hey, if it can help a bit, then why not? I just don't know where to get my carbs from and eating pork fat is kind of scary from what I know they could end up feeding the animal, like with plastic. But since vegetarianism is not practical for me at this point in time, I'd like to try this type of diet.

Thanks for the high quality response. I woke up in the middle of the night again, so I can't sleep anymore. I'll try listening to a religious audiobook now. 

[TheCloud]

Carbs are not an essential dietary element.  As long as you eat fat and protein, any carbohydrates you need can be created from gluconeogenesis of amino acids (protein) in your liver.  Also, pork fat isn't necessarily unhealthy, it's just fatty.  That just means that a little of it has a lot of calories when compared to carbohydrates.

 

For me, a low-carb diet (I try to stay under 30g of carbs a day, not including fiber) does wonders for my health and well-being.  My energy is higher and more consistent through the day, as is my mental clarity.  You do not want to yo-yo between a low-carb and high-carb diet, though, because your body goes through an adjustment period in both directions and you'll end up making yourself sick.  So it's something you have to kind of commit to, and it is very restrictive.

 

Even if you don't go low-carb, I still recommend you try to find alternatives for the least healthy aspects of your diet.  For example, can you cut out the frosting on the cake and still satisfy your craving?  Can you replace some of the white flour with whole wheat or oatmeal?  There are lots of artificial sweeteners on the market, and while people are wary of ones like aspartame (which I personally dislike as well), you are allowed to use your own judgement and find out for yourself.  Don't just consider the health-effects of the sweetener, consider the health effects of what it is replacing:  sugar.  Other than alcohol, sugar is probably the least healthy way to get your calories, and anything that can help you reduce or eliminate it is worth considering.  Don't aim for perfection;  aim for something better that works with your body and mind, something you can live with for a long time.  Try to find a rotation of acceptable foods that satisfy your specific cravings, then find ways to compensate for the deficiencies.

 

Also, supplement electrolytes:  potassium, calcium, magnesium.  Unless you have kidney issues, there's no risk to it, it's inexpensive, and you almost certainly are out of balance compared to your dietary sodium intake.

[at_anchor]

4 hours ago, TheCloud said:

Other than alcohol, sugar is probably the least healthy way to get your calories, and anything that can help you reduce or eliminate it is worth considering.  Don't aim for perfection;  aim for something better that works with your body and mind, something you can live with for a long time.

I'm afraid I won't be able to replace sugar in my life. I might be pessimistic, but where I'm at, it could get worse than sugar, like canned tuna again and stuff like that. 

I guess eating pork is still better than sugar, but not if somebody adds something unwanted to it, which is possible where I live. So it will never get better, but I might try the diet. How many fibre do I need and how to get it? 

[at_anchor]

9 hours ago, TheCloud said:

Can you replace some of the white flour with whole wheat or oatmeal? 

I don't think I can. Structure determines behavior and where I'm at I am basically in a structure that is heavily influencing me to eat that bread.

[Raze]

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf

[TheCloud]

10 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I'm afraid I won't be able to replace sugar in my life. I might be pessimistic, but where I'm at, it could get worse than sugar, like canned tuna again and stuff like that. 

I guess eating pork is still better than sugar, but not if somebody adds something unwanted to it, which is possible where I live. So it will never get better, but I might try the diet. How many fibre do I need and how to get it? 

That's tough.  It's hard to do your best when your environment is so unsupportive.  In any case, I would still say that the number one thing you can do to improve your diet is to reduce sugar.  Natural fats like olive oil and butter and lard are not your enemy;  fats have gotten a bad reputation for purely commercial reasons, because of grain lobbying and crappy 90's diet fads.

 

As for fiber, there are two kinds;  insoluble and soluble.  Insoluble is long and stringy, like celery, and just passes through you undigested.  Soluble is the same structure, but much shorter pieces that you can't see.  It's still not directly digested by your body;  it's purely for your gut biome, about which very little is understood.  Strictly speaking there's no strong scientific reason one way or the other as to whether you need fiber or not.

 

If you're having digestive issues, though, then a decent low-carb source of soluble fiber would be the less-sweet berries like blueberries, and nuts.  Don't pig out, because both still have some carbs, but you can have a handful.  If you're still eating cake, though, then you don't have to be so strict.  Oats are a good source of fiber.  Beans are a great option for soluble fiber, and additionally they are a high-quality source of complex carbohydrates.  The more complex a carbohydrate, the slower it is digested, and the less it causes fluctuations in your insulin levels that can lead to energy crashes and in the worst cases diabetes.  Sugars are the simplest, and cause the greatest fluctuations, followed by starches like corn and potato and wheat flour.  Beans and lentils are complex carbs and much better staples, though they still aren't permitted on a low-carb diet.

 

Another thing you can try is fasting.  If you can, try to go at least go twelve consecutive hours a day without eating.  I go for fourteen to sixteen.  This gives your body and digestive system time to normalize and do repairs.  There's also every-other-day fasting, where you fast for a day, then eat twice as much the next day.  This one is probably a bit harder, but it's an option if you're someone who needs to pig out once in a while to feel satisfied.  I've tried it, and it doesn't work for me, but I know people who it does work for, so it's your personal preference.

Edited August 6, 2023 by TheCloud
corrected mistake

[at_anchor]

I thought of doing fasting. But I'm gonna have to take some pills.

Thank you for the wonderful longer posts. 

[hyruga]

Dude, you are creating your own misery through your own thoughts. Your mind should work for you, not against you.

So basically you ate some sugary stuff. So be it. Forgive yourself and move on. Don't have to mentally torture yourself.

And if you manage to skip some bad food, give yourself a pat on the back and smile at yourself.

Right now, what happened is whatever advises we give, you will try to defend against them:

Mind says you are weak. You say you are weak.

Lets say we told you: Hey you are divine! You can choose to be happy!

Then you will immediately defend your own weakness by saying: no I am weak. I can't be happy.

Dude, your mind belongs to you. Learn to control it or better still, be liberated from bad thoughts.

 

 

[at_anchor]

@hyruga not sugar, sugar not problem. healthy diet is useless and even criticized against. it is something else that scares me like hell.

Edited August 7, 2023 by at_anchor

[TheCloud]

10 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I thought of doing fasting. But I'm gonna have to take some pills.

Thank you for the wonderful longer posts. 

Yeah, any medication or doctor's advice takes precedence over what I say.  I'm not an expert, I'm just relaying the information I use to guide my own diet.

[at_anchor]

2 hours ago, TheCloud said:

Yeah, any medication or doctor's advice takes precedence over what I say.  I'm not an expert, I'm just relaying the information I use to guide my own diet.

Ah, mosquito bites everywhere. I ate a lot of peanuts today and dairy too. I think your diet is not for me so I am stopping tomorrow. Tnx for the advice. I appreciate it, but I'm screwed to the bone marrow by people.

[at_anchor]

I got molested young, now I'm getting screwed over old even worse, it never stops. It just gets worse and worse. It is really like hell. And I'm supposed to go to hell, for what? My brain has been destroyed from years of misuse and stuff. Now people want to finish it. They want to kill me in tge worst ways possible! 

God save me from those monsters. I cannot,tgey are worse than sharks. They are worse than sharks. I am afraid of them all more than sharks and the like.

[at_anchor]

I'm taking all the pills. It doesn't help. I can't even stop having Mendilex. Doctors advice is not good. I can't take this life anymore. It is getting a bit out of control.

[TheCloud]

42 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

I got molested young, now I'm getting screwed over old even worse, it never stops. It just gets worse and worse. It is really like hell. And I'm supposed to go to hell, for what? My brain has been destroyed from years of misuse and stuff. Now people want to finish it. They want to kill me in tge worst ways possible! 

God save me from those monsters. I cannot,tgey are worse than sharks. They are worse than sharks. I am afraid of them all more than sharks and the like.

Who says that you are supposed to go to hell?  If someone says that you won't go to hell, will you believe them?

[at_anchor]

36 minutes ago, TheCloud said:

Who says that you are supposed to go to hell?  If someone says that you won't go to hell, will you believe them?

I will, if they are someone I trust, yes. Definitely. 

Edited August 7, 2023 by at_anchor

[TheCloud]

2 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I will, if they are someone I trust, yes. Definitely. 

Who do you trust?

[at_anchor]

3 hours ago, TheCloud said:

Who do you trust?

Unfortunately I often give a say to everyone, kind of like a green stage person, or a person without boundaries from homeless or very foreign gypssies and so forth. I am indiscriminate in this regard, but if you threaten me with evil and show evil intents towards me, are there to hurt me, I lose trust in you, but even then I can forget about that and again allow for someone like that to trick me.

Your ideas here are top notch.

Edited August 8, 2023 by at_anchor

[TheCloud]

13 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

Unfortunately I often give a say to everyone, kind of like a green stage person, or a person without boundaries from homeless or very foreign gypssies and so forth. I am indiscriminate in this regard, but if you threaten me with evil and show evil intents towards me, are there to hurt me, I lose trust in you, but even then I can forget about that and again allow for someone like that to trick me.

Your ideas here are top notch.

I appreciate your high evaluation!  I don't know the particulars of your situation, but I truly hope that it isn't actually hell, and that there is some beauty and peace for you.  It can't be totally bad if you have cake and internet, right?