My mom is always negative

[Jenkins]

I love her, and I'm sure she does mean only well.

However, ALL of the time she is a negative chatterbox (I have no power to change most of the problems she talks about)

I try to be detached, however negativity rubs off of me. And I tend to get upset after talking with her for a while, and from time to time I react in a more or less angry way.

I've tried explaining, her and every other method I could find. She might understand after a long talk, however next day or in a few hours she goes back to her behavior.

Any tips?

 

[Mormegil]

I know this from my own experience. Both my parents are very loving and supportive but they tend to be negative as well. This negative world view then creeped into my mind of course and lead to great suffering. 

It olny got better once I moved out. I still see them of course and then everytime I notice the negativity that comes from them. But now it's easier to shield myself against it and not adopt it, since I just see them a few hours and then I'm gone again.

So my advice is to create some distance, moving out can already improve your relationship alot (sounded to me like you still live with her). Doesn't need to be far away, just somewhere where you stay in your own space without the negative effects on you.

Don't blame yourself for feeling frustrated or angry. Also you probably won't be able to change her. It's good that you talk about it with her, but the real change must come from her.

Edited March 22, 2023 by Mormegil

[Devin]

       Spend as little time with her as you can. Tolle has a decent video on being with unconscious people but it's advanced to be able to actually use. Meditate more to balance it out, try to only consume positive media, your mother is enough negativity for you at the moment. Just do what you can, don't beat yourself up for reacting with anger.

[Jenkins]

Much appreciated ?

[universe]

Yep, as others already said, distance is very important.

Also be aware of your own thoughts and beliefs. When you grow up in a household full of negativity and victim thinking it's very likely that you have incoporated those as well. So be really alert of your mind. This "your mind" is the only thing you should really worry about, its the only enemy. In that regard, your mother can help you. When you notice she becomes negative, ask yourself where in your live have you been negative in the same way in the last days/weeks.

[integral]

Its about changing the situation to be positive. Make jokes, smile + laugh things off. Guide her to a new frame during the conversation. 

Edited March 23, 2023 by integral