How does dis-orientation work, when you go deeper into spirituality?

[zunnyman]

My spiritual journey over the past 8 years, in a nutshell:

Went deep as fuck, messed myself up with weed, started focusing on more grounding aspects of life like business, relationships, etc. And now I'm at a point where I feel very grounded, in a strong training program with life, and I'm inclined to go deeper into spirituality, to really take this on seriously again. 

I got the Kriya yoga book recommended by Leo, and I'm pursuing philosophy as a career very proactively. 

So what got me asking this question, is I just spent 10 minutes really curiously asking, and writing every possible question I'm curious about "reality" and "consciousness" and suddenly I can feel myself pretty disoriented, scared, clueless, not-grounded. 

If I really do go back into this deeper, how do you ground yourself with all this un-groundedness? I know my life is already pretty grounded in this ungroundedness (to some degree) because I've already pursued spirituality in all kinds of ways and depths over the years. Right now my level of ungroundedness is much higher than most people in life, but very low in terms of what's possible. 

But as I go deeper, how do I find a grounding point? How is it even possible to stay grounded when your reality is getting flipped inside out so much?

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I'm trying to make sense of what I'm saying myself. 

[Moksha]

Disorientation is pretty common when your mind begins to cope with its unreality. We spend so much of our lives believing we are our thoughts, it isn't surprising that the mind takes time to adjust.

I went through a period where I got physically dizzy, to the point where I was concerned about safely performing basic functions like driving. I noticed that the disorientation happened when I was thinking about (un)reality, rather than simply being. When I felt disoriented, I found that focusing inward as I do in meditation returned me to steadiness. Now, the dizziness rarely happens and when it does it only lasts for a moment.

In addition to meditation, I recommend contemplating The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. The third Greek maxim is: "Certainty brings ruin". With honest intent and discipline, you can learn to let go of the need for certainty and settle into the essence of who you are.

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

- Khalil Gibran

Edited March 1, 2023 by Moksha

[zunnyman]

@Moksha So much wisdom and good advice here, thanks! 

That's comforting to know that the mind will adjust to this. 

I listen to Alan Watts a lot, and that helps keep me grounded, but I'll check this book out. 

Damn thats a beautiful, profound poem. 

Just that in my current state of mind, imagining myself becoming that ocean seems so scary and disorienting haha but just knowing that my mind will adjust with time is all I need to be honest. 

I guess I was partly scared that I'll be sorta crazy and lose it, until I die, but now as I'm even typing this I'm realizing that's just a fear. 

[Moksha]

On 3/1/2023 at 8:53 PM, zunnyman said:

Just that in my current state of mind, imagining myself becoming that ocean seems so scary and disorienting haha but just knowing that my mind will adjust with time is all I need to be honest. 

I guess I was partly scared that I'll be sorta crazy and lose it, until I die, but now as I'm even typing this I'm realizing that's just a fear. 

It can be surprising once you let go of identification. The veil of you that is left isn't lost. It becomes more sublime. Life is relaxed, creative, intelligent, and authentic because it is a purer expression of your essence. Your only regret is that you didn't realize it sooner.

[Davino]

Martial Arts is the best I have found. That grounds you to the core. No matter how up you are in the sky you will get back to defend your body in a figth