Heyo. A Few Questions About Where To Begin.

[gleb]

I'm sure I could scroll on through the forum and find an answer that fits but I'd like a tailor made one  

Little background:

I'm 19, a Sophomore in College and have a huge interest in Truth. I've been fascinated by this stuff since I read The Book by Alan Watts when I was 17. Not a day goes by that I don't think about the concept of the Universe/Infinity and what I am. My plan as far as a career path is Forestry Management because I enjoy nature and it upsets me to think that deforestation is a global problem. Eventually, I'd like to save up enough money to maybe become a monk for a while or go on several extended meditation retreats to pursue Enlightenment. Not sure about that one yet. 

Emotionally, I could certainly be better. In the past year I've began going through a few bouts of depression and have minor to moderate anxiety. I'm fairly certain my psychology got fucked up because of my childhood. I have a hot tempered and strict step-dad who lived vicariously through me in terms of sports, and a really successful (and sometimes absent) Mom who is hyper-critical in terms of grades and life choices. Not in a derogatory way, but in an "always could be better" sort of way. I don't blame them, they tried their best. I do go to counseling on campus, but I find the advice given impractical most of the time. I am not medicated - the situation isn't crippling. I wish I could go more in depth, but the briefer, the more likely someone will respond. 

I've watched several of Leo's videos over the years and read a handful of books like The Way of the Superior Man, The King, Magician, Warrior, and Lover and many more on topics like Meditation and Enlightenment. I've dabbled in psychedelics and had a miniature enlightenment experience on LSD. Building habits is one of my strong suits. I like to believe that I think deeply about topics. I know for certain I have a big ego ;). 

Now, I have watched Leo's video on advice for College Students. However, I'm not particularly sure which path to follow in terms of Self Development.

Here are a few questions:

Is it better to pick a single neurotic issue and attempt to resolve them one by one?

Is there a facet of personal development that should be tackled first and then built upon? 

Can many habits be built at one time AND can they be built in conjunction with resolving neuroses?

Where and how do I even start?

I don't have a mental map on how to make this self-actualization happen, so to speak. Psychological work is abstract and difficult for me to grasp most of the time. It bothers me to no end - everyday that passes I feel as though I know less about myself rather than more.

Could someone please help me outline a big picture map for actualization?  I have bits and pieces, not a whole map. 

Thanks in advance, and thank you Leo for your content. It's phenomenal. 

 

 

 

 

 

[cirkussmile]

You have already started, congratulations!

And the path is completely up to you but there are things that boost your confidence and can help you move on.

Meditation, workout, healthy food and read books you find interesting. These things should always be a part of your life if you ask me. So start with one of these things and make it a habit. 

[Nahm]

@gleb Yo! I love the blatant honesty of asking for a tailor made response! That's refreshing and awesome to me! 

[beatlemantis]

Incredible how similar we are. I'm 17 and started this process with Alan Watts in my hand, too. Heading into similar Environmental Science fields, nice to meet ya!

We have the same obstacles as well. It's practical to start implementing conscious habits into your life as a start. This is how I've been tipping my toe in the water:

• cutting the ceaseless haze of clutter, distraction, and media (only keeping what has value to me)
• consciously meditating during prime hours of the day (important for newbies)
• positive affirmations
• healthy food, exercise, and being
• indulgence in books and media that fascinate you and stimulate healthy ideas
• purpose (why are you even doing the things listed above? What are you working towards?)

Habits, for the most part, should implement in intervals. It may be difficult to balance and ingrain several at once to the point of it collapsing. This is completely dependent on how you function. If you find you are rather easy to adopt a new habit and stick with it, go for it. But don't feel you aren't making progress if your habits take time to develop.

So, where do you embark on those less black-and-white areas? You may have a similar struggle in which the areas that you need to zone-in on are not clear. With this, it could be useful to narrow down and "map" where you're weak in with Maslow's Hierarchy. Be certain you have a rigid, permanent foundation in each tier before working towards the next one. This is a great way to start. I recommend dedicating hours of your day until you discover what these areas are for you. I find the only allusive part of self-actualization is sifting out what this means for you specifically, and how this applies to your journey. But also remember and take comfort in knowing that you are not far different from everyone else. Their paths will follow foundationally similar to yours. Viewing your life from an outsider's perspective, or a clear, third-eye will help in this same way.

(Another exercise for this: ask yourself, "If I wasn't afraid and I knew I could not fail, who would I be and what would I be doing?" This is great for de-cluttering your brain and picturing your most ideal self.)

But also remember that you are constantly changing. You are an endless, un-static being. Your ideal-self today may not be what they are tomorrow. This is where you can simplify your ideals for self-actualization and truth.

The more you work at this, the more you'll gain momentum throughout the areas of your life. Your purpose for truth and contribution to the environment will be your drive. Work at these things for that - the world desperately needs you to, and you need you to.

It seems you're also struggling with your authentic self. And I know you've been viewing Leo's material for quite some time - but have you viewed his "Understanding The Authentic Self" video? This will shift you in the perspective you need to be more authentic and "you". There are some abstract ideas that you may struggle with, but he compacts it into pretty digestible forms, so you should be good. Allow yourself to take the time to understand what he's communicating.

I haven't really dived into neurosis yet, but I'm pretty sure it's carried along the way with healthy habits and the "ideal pyramid". Un-wiring personality traits is tiring and cumbersome, so you may want to focus on these separately. From what I've read, the order of which you go about these is completely up to what you feel is most urgent.

Everything will take time and effort. You can short-circuit and go to meditation retreats, or build up to it in a more comfortable process, just remember to stick to your truth, work hard, and allow progress to show in its time  Would love an update to see how you're doing, I needed to hear from someone who's in a similar position. I wish you luck!

Edited March 10, 2017 by beatlemantis
Grammar

[gleb]

@beatlemantis Thank you so much for your detailed feedback! I have not watched the authentic self video but will be sure to do so. And I'm also going to research Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. 

That must have taken you a while to write, I appreciate it greatly. Good luck to you!

[jjer94]

Hi there.

On 3/7/2017 at 4:15 PM, gleb said:

Where and how do I even start?

You already have 

On 3/7/2017 at 4:15 PM, gleb said:

Is it better to pick a single neurotic issue and attempt to resolve them one by one?

Not really. In my experience, neuroses work like whack-a-mole. One will pop up, another will go back into its hole. Whack 'em whenever they come up in your life. 

On 3/7/2017 at 4:15 PM, gleb said:

Is there a facet of personal development that should be tackled first and then built upon? 

It depends on your circumstances. For a college sophomore, I say focus on people skills/relationships, especially if you have anxiety. Why not join a few clubs? You're in the perfect place to do so. 

On 3/7/2017 at 4:15 PM, gleb said:

Can many habits be built at one time

Ehh....in my experience, not really. I go by the following rule: introduce at most one new habit per month. You don't want to end up like one of those new years resolution people who says they will work out two hours per day, and then cancels their gym membership two weeks later.

You only have so much willpower. Start small. A great habit to start is meditation. Start with two minutes per day. Then next week, up it by another 2. And another two. And so on. 

On 3/7/2017 at 4:15 PM, gleb said:

can they be built in conjunction with resolving neuroses?

Of course! Ideally, new habits will work to resolve them.

You're doing great. Just relax. It's not a race. Your mom may have made you an overachiever, but you're off the clock now.

Cheers.

[Bob84]

@gleb in a sense you know what you need. Go with the flow and start with the things that attract you the most. It takes time to change ones ego.

[Cjaryo]

Well I believe that you need to realize how there is a lot for you to do before you reach truth, I don't know the extent of that however.

[Nahm]

@gleb so funny man. Your other one about the victim mentality etc was pretty good also. 

[beatlemantis]

@gleb No problem whatsoever, I have a certain sympathy for your position - I'm glad you found it useful!

[gleb]

On 3/10/2017 at 5:35 PM, Nahm said:

@gleb so funny man. Your other one about the victim mentality etc was pretty good also. 

What do you mean, "your other one"? This was my first post

Edited March 14, 2017 by gleb
Addition

[gleb]

@jjer94 Hey thanks for your response. I checked out that little link you had at the bottom of your post. Pretty cool.