What do you say to someone filled with deep guilt

[Adodd]

I know a guy in his late 50s or early 60s who was an addict and alcoholic for a long time. He has had an interesting life and done some really unique and interesting things and Any time one of them gets brought up he ends it with saying something like; “yeah but I was a shitty husband and a shitty father so none of that other stuff matters.”

He seems generally depressed and anytime his face lights up about one of his cool stories it always ends with him close to tears. Breaks my heart because he is a great friend and  now a good grandfather and has good relationships with his kids finally but his regret is so strong it seems like he will die miserable because he can’t forgive himself.?

[Blackbeat]

Tell him to play video games or watch movies, focus on present, and if that doesn't work. well to be blunt, he is asking to wallow in suffering, let him be, if all tactics you utilize to get his mental health back to shape fail. Not all God particles are destined to reemerge with God itself.

[Thought Art]

There’s not one thing you can say. He has a multi year road ahead of him if he wants to take the path. It’d be worth it if he did.

[Shane Hanlon]

Show him Love. Show him that you are able to forgive him. Show him that he is redeemable through the way you love him.

[UnbornTao]

How come some people seem to have moved on from their past while others haven't? What allowed them to move on?

Guilt arises in relation to the past. Stop being identified and attached to your past history. Guilt can't happen in relation to the present. The simple advice is get over it; become conscious of why you're creating these feelings, then drop them. Focus on the present and create a hopeful image of the future. That'll help in moving on by building goals. This may sound a bit ruthless, I see it more as tough love.

Just some opinions.

Edited January 15, 2023 by UnbornTao