I need to recover from spiritual damage (Yoga?)

[Hugo Oliveira]

8 years ago I had a terrible psychedelic experience and my life became very hard. I'm not psychotic, but I have the feeling of being trapped in a kind of purgatory. 
I feel depressed and purposeless. I've thrown myself into lots of experiences by traveling, socializing, etc. Nothing gave me a sense of connection, clarity, and stability. I feel like fighting against reality. 

I moved heavens and hell to lift me up. I made tons of therapy, medication, and personal development techniques and tried psychedelics many times again.

I recently looked for Ayahuasca, MDMA, and Iboga healers. But my requests just evaporated and I didn't hear back from the people I reached out to.

I still believe in the healing power of psychedelics but I'm very unstable emotionally to give it a chance now. 

I often practice exercise, but I eat a lot of junk, drink coffee, and smoke. For a long time, I blamed these addictions for my emotional pain. But I think honestly that it is not the cause. 

I feel that I already made everything possible, including many 5 days of fasting retreats by myself. 

I lost a lot of hope by trying so many things. At this moment I have no willpower to make anything difficult in order to heal (like stop smoking). And I have no idea what is causing me such disconnection from life and enjoyment. 

I want to dissipate this darkness which I feel has a lot to do with the subconscious/energy/spiritual world. I just came across the idea of practicing Yoga consistently for some months. Do you guys agree with this idea as the only means I may have? Any specific method or suggestion? Any other ideas?

Thanks!

[nuwu]

- definitely stop smoking
- learn about health and nutrition (go vegan https://nutritionfacts.org/ or ask advice from knowledgeable users in this forum)
- detoxify your organism https://youtu.be/FshM0798jeg
- try tripping with small doses, without greater purpose or heroic intents other than gradual practice
- try meditation
- learn to enjoy existence, even if it's all meaningless in the end

Edited August 27, 2022 by nuwu

[Tyler Robinson]

Look into emotion therapy. Do exercise. Stay away from psychedelics for a while. 

[VeganAwake]

No need to resist the feelings or emotions, just let them play out as they seem to.

Resistance to certain emotions will only give them more energy and meaning.

Some people just seem to have more certain types of emotions than others....nothing right or wrong with this!

♥