Paradox Human nature to love multiple people at the same time but also seek Monogamy

[integral]

Why does this conflict happen? To have the capacity to love many but to want or limit our love to monogamy? 

Edited August 21, 2022 by integral

[flowboy]

Without a rigid structure you can count on, there’s no feeling of safety which is a basic need in a relationship.

If your partner needs you while you are busy with another, now they can’t count on you.

Of course we do have the capacity to love many. The question is do we have the capacity to support many.

Life is making choices.

[puporing]

Depends where someone's at with their development I think.

If you've done most of the healing work, transcended ego and gotten some awakenings, live in the present moment (and mostly egoless), got your survival stuff mostly together, it would be more possible to engage in non-monogamy long term.

But then where to find people like this in current time? Who will be similar and not use it to manipulate or have their selfishness/ego agenda ruin the dynamic? 

A less ideal form is possible but I feel that anything less than the above would have dysfunctions.

Edited August 22, 2022 by puporing

[integral]

@puporing How does polyamory work for you, what are the positives and negatives that come with it in your experience? 

Edited August 21, 2022 by integral

[integral]

I think its possible for polyamory to work for people who have imbodied one specific value, that value is they are all conscientious givers, the capacity for giving and nurturing as its own reward. There needs to be more giving energy vs receiving demand. Everyone in the group is able to give attention and love when asked for it with out favoritism, if there is favouritism they are able to put that bias aside when a partner needs them and give to that person, they do not get stuck in a "i don't want to" mind set. They can aikido them selves into enjoying any experience. 

The polyamorous relationship needs to start with a open conversation of the type of Responsibilities and Prerequisites everyone has.

The easy answer is everyone needs to be very developed for it to work but how do we make it work with out that maturity? What are the character traits needed for it to work? 

My ego is highly competitive sexually and wants to give my partner the best possible experience, for this reason im not compatible for polygamy where there are multiple men involved, i want to be better then them in bed and i cant help but feel that way. 

Edited August 21, 2022 by integral

[puporing]

I'm not that serious about it and don't want to engage in trying to convince anyone. It is not safe for me to discuss this in detail in a public setting. It's only for if something mutual happened. That's the only way it can work for me. Otherwise people will try to manipulate/demonize me.

Edited August 22, 2022 by puporing