IOIs in night game (and game in general) and their importance

[Karmadhi]

So i have started to slowy do some game in my city (Brussels). I have done maybe a dozen approaches and around 8 nights out in clubs here. Also a bit of daygame but mostly indirect just to get a feeling for it. 

I have noticed that in nightgame i dont get any IOIs from girls. IOIS are a short word for "indicators of interest" which is basically when a girl looks at you or smiles or gives some info that she wants to be approached. I never get this, girls just ignore me and treat me as if i dont exist. It is a bit bad for my self-esteem because it makes me feel unattractive. Is it normal not to get any IOIs or am i just blind to them and cant tell?

I dont consider myself bad looking and i dress decently but i am not like super handsome or anything (probably around a 6/10 in a good day but short around 5 8).

I know that you guys say that you should approach regardless and that game matters more etc etc but as a beginner it is a bit discouraging especially since almost all the approaches i ve done where the girl didnt give me any sign didnt go anywhere. What demotivates me is when i see a girl, she looks around and does not even stop half a second to look at me. It is as if i dont exist. My other friends do get some IOIs sometimes in the meanwhile.

For daygame i dont expect IOIs much due to the fact that it is not a setting where girls are looking for guys.

What advice would you give me to improve my inner game on this? Does it happen for you often that a girl totally ignores you then you manage to attract her regardless? Also for daygame do IOIs exist or too rare to think about?

Ps: i am not talking about experts of game, mostly begginers and maybe intermediates.

 

[Leo Gura]

Most of the time girls will not give you IOIs. You must learn to run game on a brick wall.

The biggest IOI is simply eye contact and her attention. You should be getting that occasionally after approaching.

If you're never getting it, it's because your vibe is off: you're full of fear, you aren't relaxed, you're stuck in your head, you aren't smiling, you aren't in a good mood, you aren't having fun, you aren't direct enough with your sexual intent, you are too meek.

As you approach, command her attention. Force her to give you here full attention or blow you out. Do not do half-assed, meek approaches. When you approach, approach with 100% commitment and face her directly, with full eye contact.

It's okay if she blows you out. What's not okay are meek approaches.

The only importance of IOIs is to immediately capitalize on them as soon as you notice one. If you see a girl giving you eye contact, immediately approach and rapidly escalate. But never wait or hope for IOIs. IOIs are like finding cash on the ground. As soon as you see it, you grab it. But you don't rely on this to make money.

[NoSelfSelf]

Your inner game is bad because you talk weak to yourself simple as that focusing on IOIS,rejection,woman 3 typical strikes and killer of you!

[Karmadhi]

On 7/1/2022 at 4:24 AM, Leo Gura said:

The biggest IOI is simply eye contact and her attention. You should be getting that occasionally after approaching.

I am talking about girls locking eyes with you and maybe smiling (or not) while looking around in the venue. So prior to approaching.

You know the usual, you guys lock eyes, you smile, she smiles and you go and approach.

I never get this, girls just look around like i dont exist and it is quite degrating to my self-esteem.

Like am i really this ugly that no girl in the venue finds me attractive?

I understand it wont happen often unless you re super handome but fuck, with me it basically never happens.

It feels like i am overcompensating to try to attract girls just by my "personality" and game only. Like i feel i am not good enough and am overcompensating.

To me it should be like: "Hmm this guy is kinda cute, lets see what he is like". Then you show them your personality and that initial attraction is solidified, further developed and properly turned into kiss/lay/gf etc.

 

 

Edited July 3, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I am talking about girls locking eyes with you and maybe smiling (or not) while looking around in the venue. So prior to approaching.

That happens very rarely. Maybe 1 in 500 girls.

Hot girls rarely give eye contact because they are already hit on way too much. If she was giving eye contact readily she would have 50 guys trying to fuck her every week.

You just need to stop waiting for her to make it easy for you. Just approach.

Challenge yourself with difficult approaches. Approach a girl who is there with her boyfriend.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura I am not talking about hot girls. I am talking about girls in general. Personally i dont limit myself to only approaching hot girls, especially in the learning stage. As long as they are not legit ugly in my eyes i see them as valuble options.

I dont expect hot girls to do that, i am expecting average girls to do it.

I get your logic though.

[Leo Gura]

@Karmadhi Funny enough, attracting a non-hot girl can be more difficult or just as difficult as a hot one.

You shouldn't expect average girls to give you eye contact more than once in a blue moon. Girls are not wired that way. It takes time for a girl to warm up to you and get sexually interested. She is not scanning the room the way a guy scans a room for hot girls. Girls are passive creatures. They don't bother themselves with approaching or initiating. It will happen once in a blue moon. Capitalize on it when you see it, but don't go out hoping for it.

[Karmadhi]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You shouldn't expect average girls to give you eye contact more than once in a blue moon.

Understood.

[Vrubel]

On 01/07/2022 at 4:24 AM, Leo Gura said:

Most of the time girls will not give you IOIs. You must learn to run game on a brick wall.

Hmm... When I do an approach,  I often in the first few seconds intuitively know if she is "open" to me. AKA whether we click.  Personally, I never persist with a girl that doesn't click. Because I authentically lose interest in her, in my mind if a girl is not impressed by my presence I'll just think she is dumb and defective as a woman or we simply don't match, and that's perfectly fine and normal. If I approach and she looks away from me, that's a big no-no for me. Like, that's an immediate "bye have a nice day!". 

My intuition is obviously not perfect but I do sense these clicks with girls. Sometimes a girl will click very well but has a boyfriend. Or it will click but I do bad game. That would be a more "true" loss. 

I know some girls will subtly test men by acting like a cold fish. Though this is not most girls and personally I find that very unattractive. Most feminine girls won't help themselves but to express their "openess"/interest in all kinds of tacit ways, acting feminine for one. But also her sprinkling in some shit-tests. Ironically these are some of the most explicit indicators of interest.  

Personally, I put a lot of value on click. For me having a click trumps all in getting girls.

Edited July 3, 2022 by Vrubel

[Leo Gura]

33 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

Hmm... When I do an approach,  I often in the first few seconds intuitively know if she is "open" to me. AKA whether we click.  Personally, I never persist with a girl that doesn't click.

Yes, I usually know with 3 secs if it will hook.

But it's still good to train the skill of gaming a brick wall. Sometimes it takes a few mins for a girl to open up to you.

It also depends on how many girls there are out. If it's a slow night you don't have the luxury of burning through a bunch of girls. If there is a horde of girls, then you can screen for openness much harder cause all you're looking for is 1.

[Latashia_House]

On 01.07.2022 at 1:13 AM, Karmadhi said:

So i have started to slowy do some game in my city (Brussels). I have done maybe a dozen approaches and around 8 nights out in clubs here. Also a bit of daygame but mostly indirect just to get a feeling for it. 

I have noticed that in nightgame i dont get any IOIs from girls. IOIS are a short word for "indicators of interest" which is basically when a girl looks at you or smiles or gives some info that she wants to be approached. I never get this, girls just ignore me and treat me as if i dont exist. It is a bit bad for my self-esteem because it makes me feel unattractive. Is it normal not to get any IOIs or am i just blind to them and cant tell?

I dont consider myself bad looking and i dress decently but i am not like super handsome or anything (probably around a 6/10 in a good day but short around 5 8).

I know that you guys say that you should approach regardless and that game matters more etc etc but as a beginner it is a bit discouraging especially since almost all the approaches i ve done where the girl didnt give me any sign didnt go anywhere. What demotivates me is when i see a girl, she looks around and does not even stop half a second to look at me. It is as if i dont exist. My other friends do get some IOIs sometimes in the meanwhile.

For daygame i dont expect IOIs much due to the fact that it is not a setting where girls are looking for guys.

What advice would you give me to improve my inner game on this? Does it happen for you often that a girl totally ignores you then you manage to attract her regardless? Also for daygame do IOIs exist or too rare to think about?

Ps: i am not talking about experts of game, mostly begginers and maybe intermediates.

IOIs in night game kinda remind me of gambling tbh. Like, you’re never gonna get a guaranteed signal the same way you don’t get a guaranteed win in poker or blackjack. You’re reading small cues, making bets, and sometimes you just go for it even without a “perfect” hand. Guys who wait for super obvious IOIs are basically the ones sitting at the table forever, scared to place a bet. Meanwhile, the ones who actually win are comfortable taking risks and adjusting based on feedback. It’s more like playing a slot or chasing a jackpot mindset-wise, you keep spinning and staying in the game instead of overanalyzing every outcome. I came across this vibe while browsing https://kaszino-world.com/energy/  stuff and it actually lines up a lot with social dynamics. You’re not waiting for certainty, you’re playing probabilities and momentum. IOIs help, sure, but they’re not the whole game.

The mistake a lot of guys make is treating IOIs like some kind of checklist or “permission system.” Like they’re waiting for 3 clear signals before they do anything. Real interactions don’t work that clean.

In night game especially, everything is more chaotic - loud venue, alcohol, groups - so IOIs are often subtle or inconsistent. A girl might be interested but distracted, or just vibing in the moment without giving obvious signals. If you rely too heavily on IOIs there, you’ll hesitate and miss opportunities.