Felt as if I'd die at Ayahuasca

[rnd]

I did one in Brazil, with native peruvians-brazilians, in a small group.

1st drink - nothing special, it lasted for 1 hours, but I felt something only for about 10 minutes. "Is that it?"

2nd drink, small, based on tea - after about 30-60 minutes I suddenly became to feel as if I'd not slept for days and had been obligied to spend yet another night here at the ceremony. 

 

Mentaly-wise - I guess nothing bad. No visual metamorphosis when everything would become fluid. What a boomer. Mayyyy be a bit, but nothing that I'd remember vividly.  What a boomer.

 

But physically-wise:

I left the ceremony outside the house, went inside and lay on a bed; didn't take the 3rd drink.

Tooooooo much relasation, legs and hands are like ropes. And the heart goes "ttttttttttttttt". Blood rushes in the head. But my feets are cold. I want to pass out but I try not to because a moment I'll allow myself to pass out or go asleep, I think I might die due to inability to control my heart rate. And something in the throat, as if I was getting suffocated.

 

I remember clearly that I'd accepted that I might die in the next 5-10 minutes if it only would increase its intencity by a tiny amount. Or even continues as is. I only felt sorry that my mom would be sending me emails and get no reply (I don't live in my home country).

No other bad thoughts; I tried not to resist. And I couldn't.

 

 

It lasted for 2-2.5 hours, in waves, and then gradually fade away.

My physical health, generally, is ok, though.

 

Edited January 23, 2022 by rnd

[rnd]

One of the shamans or natives came inside the house, and made something with my head which resembeled evicting bad spirits

And he may well be capable of -- singing the songs all night long isn't a joke.

[Nahm]

@rnd

The ‘sleepy phase’ is a facade, and yet a natural part of the psychedelic onset. You might say the brain or mind isn’t used to the frequency of brain waves it’s being tuned too. So, so to speak, it figures ‘oh it’s sleepy time’ / ‘I’m tired’. 

Never take a psychedelic if you are tired, and never mentally buy into the “sleepiness” shortly after ingesting. Do the exact opposite next time. Don’t go lay down or even sit still. Stand up and extend your arms fully out to your sides, and take deep belly breaths and let them out slowly, feeling your whole body as you do. Do some stretches. Nothing intense though, just because it’s lively & feels good. This sends signals through the bodymind that you’re awake. 

 

Might also bring about a little lightheartedness…

I once made a ‘rule’: no focusing on any thinking whatsoever the first hour in the morning & the last hour at night. It was clearly seen here that the quality of thoughts in these timeframes was very poor relative to the rest of the day. 

Life & death are literally as you experience them right now, as thoughts, and that’s all. There is no reason & certainly no benefit to thinking about death, especially while taking a psychedelic. The discord of the thinking is resistant to the desired experience - the kind of experience you actually are wanting - from the psych. 

So if it seems like you had a bad ayahuasca experience, consider maybe it was just tired thinking, and a psych as gas on that fire, and (unfortunately) natives not as well prepared & versed as they could be imo. Also, I have a hunch you went into the experience thinking you’ll experience death. That third drink would have likely been the game changer. No worries though.  Better & better trips to come. We all learn as we go really. 

 

 

 

[rnd]

@Nahm I hadn't thought  of death at all until I began to feel that I might either pass out and die afterward when without conscious, or die right away,  due to the high heart rate and blood in the head. And with heart rate it wasn't clear: high at times and,  at other times - too low too.

But people was saying "Ohhhh, don't worry, that are just your thoughts, that's oookkkkk, that's just mental..." What stubborn people.

 

I expected metamorphosis, but they didn't happen. Do they happen at all?

Probably yes, I came there tired.

 

Edited January 24, 2022 by rnd

[Windappreciator]

the natives brew with pure plants and all that. you might have gotten poisons in there.

the aya might have protected you by not letting you trip hard.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Windappreciator

[Jodistrict]

It sounds like you never actually entered a journey.  It could be because of many factors including your body physiology, diet, and quality of ayahauasca.  Sometimes it may take several ceremonies for you brain to adjust to the new chemistry.  The strengths of different types of ayahuasca can very signficantly.  My shaman told me that in Peru they go deep into the jungles to find vines that are over a hundred years old.   If you were on a journey, you would have known.  In my last trip, it took 30 minutes to work and I had intense visions for five hours.   

[Nahm]

@rnd

It’s fair to say the recognition of projection is a mental metamorphosis.