New To Personal Development

[Simone]

Hello everyone, I am new here. I am 28 years old my name is Simone and I am from Belize Central America. I want to share a little about myself and see how I can grow with you all.

I was molested from ages 5-14 by both male and female family members and family friends. I did a lot of self help work in some part of this process by informing my family members, exposing my identity and now advocating against sexual abuse through social media " Facebook"

I was in a relationship for 9 years and my partner broke up with me, it's been 2 months and now since the break up.  I was very needy, jealous, controlling, clingy, have very low self esteem and self confidence. Everything that leads to the end of our relationship. I have so much work to do before a entire a new relationship, I wouldn't want my future relationships to suffer my bad habits.

I would like all the support possible, I feel very sad but hopeful that I found this forum. I am not sure which area I should start, I have all these issues and it's overwhelming. So far I have listen to some of Leo youtube videos and they been helping me think differently a bit about certain things.  I have grown outwardly that shows courage and strength but surely don't feel that way within myself. Where should I really start? How have you all been managing with some of theses issues?

[Bebop]

@Simone Hello Simone! I'd recommend watching Leo's video on How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions if you haven't already. It sounds like you have a lot of emotional wounds that need to be healed but the most important part is to learn to let go and accept the past. Personally I struggled with this a lot myself but by allowing myself to be vulnerable and forgiving the people that have hurt me in the past have helped me tremendously. It's going to be difficult at times but those negative emotions are going to make you a much stronger person if you can accept them. Good luck on your journey, I wish you the best

 

[AxelK]

Hello. 

It seems like you have a lot of baggage and past trauma to deal with, i'm writing this as someone who does too. I would really recommend seeing someone in the real world that you can talk to. I dont know how the mental health system is in your country is but a professional would be optimal. Watching videos and doing self development is great, but when you have a lot of baggage it will in my experience only do so much. 

Also, give yourself time. Although you watch these videoes and understand the concepts theoretically it takes time before it really manifests itself in the subconscious. Being impatient will only make you go backwards, this is what i've experienced.

Lastly, give yourself permission to feel all the bad things that have happened to you. Inside of you there probably is a small scared child in need of releasing all the unwanted and suppressed emotions. Hopefully you can turn it into a positive and make you a stronger  and wiser person in the future.

[Bebop]

Yeah AxelK also brings up a good point that I forgot to mention. Finding a good therapist or at least someone who you can talk about these issues is very important. I've been doing this work for about two years now and I noticed after the first year a lot of emotional baggage came out and I was constantly in and out of hospitals due to panic attacks. I finally gave in and went to a therapist which has helped me tremendously on top of doing this work. Looking back on it though made me the person I am today though so I'm grateful for the experiences, and I hope the same will happen for you.

[David1]

Hi Simone,

Sorry to hear you had such a tough time growing up. I think you should start with meditation and relaxation exercises. There are alot of guided meditations and relaxation/visualization exercises online that may help you quiet down that inner voice. Read books! leo mentions a few basic ones in some of his vids like 'psycho cybernetics' wich is a real gem. Especially if you've had a bad childhood, your subconscious is probably filled with lots limiting and negative beliefs about yourself. Try to find these out and change them. As mentioned above...a good (hypno)therapist can help you a great deal but you can also do it yourself too. Good luck and best wishes for 2017.

[YaNanNallari]

I don't know if the following videos are easy to get or optimal for beginners, but the video on the illusory nature of thought and videos about moralizing have helped me the most lately.

[Simone]

I really truly appreciate each of your comments thank you so much. I have wrote some notes I will start working on these stuff. You all give me hope that one day I will feel stronger than I am now. So glad to meet you all.

[Guest Annetta]