I Always Go Back To The "same Old Me" And To An Lazyness, Anyone Help?

[blacksapp]

Hello, I'll tell a little bit about my self, and would ask if someone can help me.

I'm a pretty shy guy, and I've gonne through depression in my earlies 15 years old...since then i don't have many friends and everybody just don't give a crap about me. I used to get a girlfriend but she left me, and now i'm on this crappy mood.
I watch Leo's videos and stuff, and for some weeks i got on the shape and doing stuff, but sometimes i'm into this lazyness and it makes me go back to what i used to do/be, getting nervous and my old habits...i hope someone can give me some tips please!

[Shin]

It is expected, you can't go from extreme lazyness to super active mode in a few weeks, it takes time.

 

[blacksapp]

@Shin Thanks, shin!
I already saw it but, i'm in this problem that i don't absorve the information or idk the hell happens...i just forget about what is said there.

Using the computer too much maybe have anything to do with it?

 

[Guest Annetta]

2 minutes ago, blacksapp said:

@Shin Thanks, shin!
I already saw it but, i'm in this problem that i don't absorve the information or idk the hell happens...i just forget about what is said there.

Using the computer too much maybe have anything to do with it?

 

I'm having this same problem.

[blacksapp]

@Babybat Feels bad bro :\

I kinda get in this "entertainment" state and can't get off, holly molly

[Guest Annetta]

@blacksapp For sure dude, same here.  It's like, getting addicted to instant gratification and it's sooo hard to do what one's supposed to because other things are way more tempting.


 

Edited December 30, 2016 by Babybat

[Guest Nazar]

Do you have a meditation habit in place? Let yourself be your lazy self don't resist it, just make sure you sit back, relax, and observe yourself, your thoughts, feelings, internal and external environment, etc. Amazing changes will occur as long as you dedicate to this one discipline. Every day, 1  hour. Learn to be OK again.

Edited December 30, 2016 by Nazar

[Shin]

I for myself was very lazy, I was litterally doing nothing else than gaming all day 1 year ago.

You just need to build some healthy habit, one at a time.

 

For example, I started with walking 45 minutes-1 hour everyday, it was challenging at first, simply because I wasn't accustomed to it (now it's something like 90 minutes to 2 hours)

When I discovered Actualized.org, It was a well established habit already, so I took a meditation habit.

It took me 6 months to make it a habit, so much resistance coming from this, it's unbelievable how much your ego dislike silence and stillness

Now I can still feel some resistance, it's rare, but when I start the session, I almost never think it's too long, unless my back pains me too much this day.

 

2 weeks ago I started the life purpose exercices, and it is even more challenging than starting a meditation habit, and I think it's because I know that if I do it right, my life will totally transform.

Somedays I fail to do even the daily goal which is just 1 hour, but I'm not worried, I know it's just a matter of time until the habit sticks

I found a trick though, you start a timer on your smartphone, and you stop it whenever you want to do something else, and whenever you feel like you want to work again, you activate the timer again. That helps when you're on a very lazy day.

 

So you see, you just need to choose the right habit to take, be patient, and it will be fine.

The problem is that the ego wants everything right and now, but that's not how growth works, that's not how real change comes, unless you were already a very energic person with habits already in place, or your life has been destroyed,

But for the majority of us, who lives in comfort, it is very hard to change, simply because there is no real problem in our lives.

 

IF you want to grow, there will be pain, there will be struggles,  you can't make a beautiful ruby by petting a stone, you burn it at 1200 degrees !

You have to accept that, it doesn't matter if it takes 1/2 or 3 years to finally have all the good habits in place, 3 years is nothing, you have like 40 years after that to make it work

 

Edited December 30, 2016 by Shin

[Guest Annetta]

@Shin Good advice!! <3 

I'm gunna try the timer trick, that might give my brain that "reward" to beat my old time every day.

[blacksapp]

@Shin  Thanks again, buddie! 

I'm trying to do some meditations, but I don't know how to do them pretty well...sometimes i get sleepy, sometimes i just wander through my toughts...sometimes i just don't think about anything and start gettint ansious and stuff D:
But I'll pretty sure try to it, in this new year that is coming!
If u allow me to ask, what u feel 'different' about yourself after this years of meditation?
THANKS AGAIN! <3

Edited December 30, 2016 by blacksapp

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, blacksapp said:

@Shin  Thanks again, buddie! 

I'm trying to do some meditations, but I don't know how to do them pretty well...sometimes i get sleepy, sometimes i just wander through my toughts...sometimes i just don't think about anything and start gettint ansious and stuff D:
But I'll pretty sure try to it, in this new year that is coming!
If u allow me to ask, what u feel 'different' about yourself after meditation?
THANKS AGAIN! <3

After one meditation session, nothing particular, rested that's all.

After 6 months of meditation, I'm now able to watch my thoughts and not identify myself with (for the most part), even in an argument.

It is like you "watch" thoughts appearing in your mind, but you know they are just words/ideas, not you.

 

I was a bit hardcore for 2/3 months though, I was meditating for like 2/3 hours per day, and since I was tired all the time, it was easier to be vigilant about my thoughts in order to practice mindfullness.

I'm doing mindfullness full time since I started to meditate, which speeds up a lot my consciousness growth (just doing meditation isn't gonna do the trick in the short/mid term).

 

[blacksapp]

@Shin And what's that mindfullness about? Would you mind showing me any Leo's video? Don't want to bother you any longer >.<

[Shin]

14 minutes ago, blacksapp said:

@Shin And what's that mindfullness about? Would you mind showing me any Leo's video? Don't want to bother you any longer >.<

It is just about watching your thoughts.

When you speak/imagine things in your mind, don't just talk/dream, watch what you are saying/thinking.

It is easier to do when you feel your body at the same time.

Don't judge your thoughts though, and if you caught yourself judging, forgive yourself, let it go.

 

At some point, you'll laugh at what you're thinking, because you'll know it's just a repetitive patterns, or some stupid mind reactions, you'll even be able to laugh when you backslide on a an habit.

It is very funny, I laugh a lot these days, it's just so much fun to realize how fucked up the human mind can be

 

 

 

Edited December 30, 2016 by Shin

[blacksapp]

Thanks, I'll try it out and see how it goes along the days / months! Thank you!

[Christian]

@blacksapp

In my journey of personal development, I have had a similar experience. The proces is that you try to change and fail miserably time and time again, but it does not have to be that way. 

I believe that the root problem of why we do not change is because we are not 100% commited. Like commited commited. If you had a clear vision and had true 100% commitment to realize it and took self responsibility on top of that foundation, you would not be stuck like the way you presently are!

Believe me, I have been in a similar situation to where you presently are. The tough solutions that we resist are the ones that are neseccaey to realize our true potential. 

[blacksapp]

@Christian 
Yeah, I can really see that...we think that we are commited but in fact we aren't.
The process is really insist on it 'till you can see the results, even if your ego don't wanna work and wanna stay in the comfort zone.
The problem is when you got dismotivated...I got dismotivated much often, because it takes too long to see results and don't have a way to really "test" because i don't have many friends...but i'll give it a try! 

1 0 0 % C O M M I T M E N T !

 

[SFRL]

5 hours ago, blacksapp said:

@Babybat Feels bad bro :\

I kinda get in this "entertainment" state and can't get off, holly molly

 

 

@Shin posted this video as a comment to me like yesterday. 

Intuitively you will probably already know this. But it is still good to have it ordered by Leo in a video. It can help you to take some focussed action. 

Edited December 30, 2016 by STC

[Shin]

46 minutes ago, Christian said:

@blacksapp

In my journey of personal development, I have had a similar experience. The proces is that you try to change and fail miserably time and time again, but it does not have to be that way. 

I believe that the root problem of why we do not change is because we are not 100% commited. Like commited commited. If you had a clear vision and had true 100% commitment to realize it and took self responsibility on top of that foundation, you would not be stuck like the way you presently are!

Believe me, I have been in a similar situation to where you presently are. The tough solutions that we resist are the ones that are neseccaey to realize our true potential. 

And if you can't ?

I'm asking because I never been able to have this kind of huge fire inside me, telling me that I'm doing something really great here, or that I could, even when I acknowledge that I could do exceptional work.

For example, I often have this vision of me being a spiritual teacher, helping some people to feel better, and it feels kinda nice, but again, no fire, I see that I could be happy doing this, but apparently I don't really care.

Even the life purpose course, which I know could entirely shape my life into something amazing, does not fire anything inside me. I know it's important, I know it will help, but I'm not excited at all.

 

The only exception is when I discovered what Enlightenment is (the concept), I promised myself that I would know the truth at some point,

But aside this experience, it's like everything is just "cool, but yeah, I don't know, why bothering ?"

 

Do I have a problem ? Or did I just not find what I love and it's totally normal ? Or maybe it's because I'm starting to differenciate myself from my ego and I feel that nothing is serious ?

It bugs me, it feels like I'm dead inside, but at the same time I'm not depressed at all, and I can definitely feel positive emotions, it is really weird

Edited December 30, 2016 by Shin

[blacksapp]

@Shin I think its normal, maybe you still didn't find something that moves you, something that make you get out of the chair and bang something in the face (joke). 
I feel like that sometimes, and somehow I know that I feel this way because i don't have much experience with other people and really experience living different things...Its like I'm really dead 'cause i'm bored to death with the things i'm already used to and i accept everything that comes for guaranteed.
Try new things, different experiences to make you see new possibilities...hope it helps <3

[Christian]

A great way I like to think about 100% commitment so you guys and myself can get am idea about it is this. Have you ever experienced a situation where your parents tell you you have to do something like: You have to go to bed at 8pm - no exception! In your mind, there is NO exception at that point. All you know is "I have to do this" and I think there is something to this kind of thinking that might be useful when we try to discipline ourselves. 

Jack Canfield has this saying: 100% is a breeze. 99% is a bitch and it is so fucking true. The reason it is so hard to change is that last 1% of resistance and if that is removed, I think it feels liberating cause there aint no going back!