Your unmet needs

[Cathal]

So i'm wondering for those of you who are aware of certain needs, emotional, social, intimacy, esteem, purpose etc how are they finding expression right now if they aren't being met?

Specifically if they are not being met, are you aware? if so, have you noticed how it causes you pain and how it seeks expression?

Mine is through a deep feeling of emptiness, a painful cold feeling in my chest, constant dream and thought rumination etc. Most dominant is the self-judgment activity happening all the time, my mind constantly needs to behave in a way that it learned as a child to get a need met but even now it's still doing that because I have failed to fulfill certain things. 

Also, if you have felt this emptiness before and you fulfilled it, how did you do that and what did it feel like once you felt that fulfilment?

Thanks

[TheAlchemist]

These are some great questions, they helped me realize some things about myself and connect some dots. I don't want to share those things here since I am not yet ready for that kind of vulnerability on a public forum.

But thanks for the post, I certainly have lots of respect for you for having the courage to be a bit vulnerable with your situation here. I think it's something we can all respect and also relate to in our own ways. 

Edited October 18, 2021 by TheAlchemist

[Flowerfaeiry]

Yea this got me thinking as well! 

I have an unmet need in the area of spiritual connection. I think part of it stems from the difficulties I have connecting with myself. Sometimes it comes out in desperation, worry, addiction.  

I hope that someday I can get it met so I'm trying to learn and grow so I can connect with someone like that.

[RickyFitts]

3 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I have an unmet need in the area of spiritual connection. I think part of it stems from the difficulties I have connecting with myself. 

I reckon you might be right about that - it's actually extremely common in humans and yet so few people are conscious of the fact, so it shows great self-awareness that you can see this in yourself.

I think a big part of the reason that humans tend to have difficulty connecting with themselves is because if they were to connect with themselves, what they would probably discover is a lot of upset, and unfortunately we tend to repress such feelings. So a good question to consider might simply be, 'What don't I want to feel right now?'.

 

[Cathal]

@Flowerfaeiry i think its really important to discover what you need and the funny thing is it's probably really simple change drastically day to day life far more than all this self-help bullshit because if you can realize what it is then the only thing left to do is take action to fulfill it despite how you feel about it -

there is so much resistance around making ourselves vunerable to fulfill our needs but if you can see the inaction in itself is the action of avoidance (desperation, worry, addiction) then you can see that you cause yourself so much pain by avoiding than taking action, it's really only fear then

really truly just feel the fear and youll see the reason its so heavy and scary is it has become multiplied so much because you avoid it, the moment you sink into it just dissipates and you feel so good getting that shit out of you