Idiocy and Ignorance

[Preety_India]

@roopepa please don't drag me into this. I'm feeling suicidal right now and I'm just trying to stay positive and avoid any interactions here except with my boyfriend who helps me and is very supportive. 

I am not a drama queen. You never know if someone is having a bad day or bad life. I don't want anymore arguments and that's why I'm not talking to anyone. 

I just express my feelings in my journal about my experiences and that's not a crime. 

Stop the invalidation. 

 

[Marcel]

@roopepa

The problem is that I for example faced verbal use and bullying  my whole life plus I’m hyper sensitive and get hurt easily.

So comments like 

“You’re a beta motherfucker”

or

”Life isn’t serious, especially not sum dumb romance”

Feel very disrespectful and triggering to traumatic memories. And if you’re already depressed and suicidal, nonsense like this makes it even harder.

P.S Please do me a favour and don’t quote preety in the future in my journals, she just wants to be left alone.

Edited October 2, 2021 by Marcel

[roopepa]

2 hours ago, Marcel said:

@roopepa 

“You’re a beta motherfucker”

or

”Life isn’t serious, especially not sum dumb romance”

Okay yeah that's just childish, I get you.

[roopepa]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@roopepa Stop the invalidation. 

I wasn't invalidating anything. Sorry if you got that impression.

I hope it gets better for you! Stay strong 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, roopepa said:

I wasn't invalidating anything. Sorry if you got that impression.

I hope it gets better for you! Stay strong 

It's alright, I think my boyfriend explained it to you in detail. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I officially left the forum on Wednesday, 29th September, 2021 at 10.12 pm. 

I have disabled my messenger, removed my 100 followers and I won't have any  interactions with anyone anymore. 

 

Edited October 2, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

To someone who has probably directed their comment at me. This is my reply to you. 

I understand that you have made a lot of improvements in your life, good for you. I have made a lot of improvements in my life too thanks to journaling which is my only source of self expression. I don't judge what other people do as right or wrong, I mostly leave them to themselves because I cannot be the best arbiter for what's good for them. 

I'm sorry I'm quite slow brained in my life progress because I have too many challenges that I won't have enough time to explain in detail, neither do I feel obligated to do so.. My progress happens at a very slow pace and the journaling helps a shit ton in achieving even a tiny bit of mental and emotional progress. I don't have access to therapy. My journal is where I get my most therapeutic insights. If you are not used to journaling or don't find much value in it, it might be very difficult for you to relate. But always know that what you find best for yourself is not always best for others. 

Since you wrote in your journal regarding journaling and I'm usually not the kind of person who intrudes into other's journals without their permission (also because I've decided not to talk much to people here, people problems bug me more than anything), so this is my reply to you. 

I'm not seeking any validation from anyone and I do not want any comments in my journal. 

I don't appreciate the preachy tone. 

I'm just here to learn and grow and journaling helps me a lot with this process

My daily insights help me in my life and keep me focused. 

I don't wish to burden anyone in my Real life talking to them for hours and hours about my emotional struggles so as I tend to journal it. Which helps  immensely. 

Plus public journaling helps me with motivation. It gives me the motivation to go on in life and it helps me to stay focused and mentally sane.

There are lots of options here with journaling like adding pictures etc that make my journaling easier and enjoyable. 

I only wish there was a way to cut down the social aspect because I'm here to grow and not chat. But there aren't many controls here since even trolls can post in journals. That's my only gripe. 

I don't like unnecessary conflicts so please don't engage me into it. 

If you don't find journaling helpful that's your perspective, but my perspective doesn't have to necessarily line up with yours. 

 

Edited October 4, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

This is not directed at @Marcel or the original poster of this journal.

 

 

 

 

 

All I'm asking for is just let me be who I am and don't bother me unnecessarily and I don't need to engage or argue

 

I'm usually not the one to start things. 

I like to be by myself. 

And I can't help it that my presence is so displeasing to you because I'm simply being myself.

Also the part of validation and attention, well I don't need it, never needed it to begin with, never asked for it, and it's a deep projection to think I'm looking for validation. Because clearly in my opinion im not. I even left the forum for it and removed my 100 followers. Isn't it enough that I left forum? I'm trying to journal peacefully. Not trying to hurt anyone. If my happiness or sadness hurts your eyes, I can't help it. Just leave me alone and I will be fine. I'm too tired of people, so validation is the last thing on my mind. It's utter, baseless and pure projection and I don't need to die defending myself 

Im saying a gazillion times that I'm done and I don't need your attention so please don't make me a scapegoat

 Im simply trying to peacefully move on and live my life. 

Once again I don't want your praise, preachings, criticism, comments, validation, invalidation, feedback, please keep it to yourself, I don't need that shit, my own insights help me more than anyone else's. 

This is probably the nth time I'm stressing that just because I am here doesn't mean that I like to talk to people or want to talk to people. Absolutely not. I'm an introvert and I'll always be an introvert. Nothing will change that. So talking to people is always a bit difficult for me, nor does it ever amuse me in any way so saying that I am looking for validation is probably the biggest joke in my perspective. 

If I'm so unlikable, just don't talk to me and I will be chill

 

And maybe when you ask if I am triggered, I guess it's quite hypocritical to do something triggering and then question why someone is triggered, maybe don't try to start a conflict when the other person didn't ask for it. 

I want to make this statement firm and clear that I only journal for myself and the purpose it serves is first and foremost for me. Everything else is secondary. So please do not have other thoughts. Most likely what's happening in my brain doesn't align with your thoughts and I'm sick and fed up of constantly having to provide an explanation to people. It's not necessary so let's cut it. 

 

[Preety_India]

Also this last comment for this person who is desperate to know if I'm triggered or not, 

Please don't drag me into a conflict because I so do not want and have no interest in it. 

So please can you stop with your direct and indirect commenting at me. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Public appeal to anyone who is reading this journal. 

 

 

Please do not abuse me on this forum - a public appeal

 

This is a request to users who constantly want to harass me on this forum. Please stop this behavior. I make a humble request. I am only here because journaling here helps me. Public journaling helps me. Private journaling does not help me at all. 

Yes I admit that I have emotional and mental health issues largely because of childhood trauma and the resulting PTSD I suffered for many years. However this Vulnerability shouldn't be exploited on a website like this. People come here for help and not to be harassed or abused. 

I have a large number of posts because I constantly need to journal in order to stay positive or I could have a mental breakdown. I wish people here at least put 1% effort into understanding another person's struggles. 

I have never trolled anyone in my life and this is my only account and I don't even use VPN. I met an amazing guy on this forum last month who helps me a lot with my emotional battles. He is not another profile I created. He is just another user. He asked me for my profile picture so I edited it slightly and gave it to him. He uses a VPN probably. We are not trolling anyone, we are simply trying to help and support each other in whatever ways we can and we aren't hurting anyone. 

I would have completely left this website if I weren't journaling here. On my boyfriend's advice I left the forum. But it seems like it doesn't stop some insidious people from mentioning, quoting or spreading false rumours about my personal life. My personal life is not anyone's business nor is it for you to judge if you don't know me personally. Stop speculating so hard about someone online if you don't know them. Stop dragging me into unnecessary debates and conflicts and stop attacking my personal life and Vulnerabilities. 

Yes the journal is open to read. But just because the journal is open to read doesn't mean that you exploit this opportunity and use it as ammunition to hurt and harass me. It's not funny. It affects my mental health. 

I seriously don't have any interest on this forum and I have hardly replied in this past whole week except for one thread where Leo asked about VPN. Even that opportunity was used to attack my personal life.

Please learn to be sensitive to other's struggles. You never know what someone might be going through. If you don't like my journals, don't read them. It's completely under your control what you choose to read.. 

I don't want to leave this website because the journaling is the actual thing that helps me a lot.

Also to other members who simply watch passively, imagine if your sister was in my place. We are not here to create such a harmful environment. If you can't defend me (which I understand), but at least don't encourage the harassment and trolling because you are enabling it. It's not funny and it's not a joke. 

Trolling, harassment and abuse cause serious suffering and I have tried my best to not let the recent wave of troll accounts to impact me. I'm trying to stay brave and strong despite this constant effort to discourage my spirit. 

It's also forbidden under Forum Guidelines to not target someone's personal life. 

I'm not good at socializing. I'm far too sensitive but I don't expect anyone to be ultra sensitive. Just be decent, we can do this much. We can at least have this much understanding to stop gossip, rumours, and personal attacks. 

I just had a mental breakdown an hour ago because I'm mentally in a very vulnerable place struggling minute to minute to stay positive and just live my life. The journaling is the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge and my boyfriend who is supportive as well. 

Again my personal life is none of your business and also it doesn't hurt or impact anyone because I don't use it to attack anyone. I am simply trying to live in peace. 

Please stop harassing, abusing, trolling and refrain from using my personal life as ammunition. 

I usually do not talk to people in real life as a result of my social anxiety. Please don't tell me to seek therapy or any other advice because except journaling, nothing has worked so far for me. Seeking therapy is not as easy as it sounds and therapists have themselves told me to continue my journaling habit. 

I wish Leo had given better options with journaling like turning off comments but I really can't complain about something that has helped me for 3 years 

I left this forum on September 29th in the hopes that I would be left alone in peace. 

I have helped so many people on this forum, if they remember, it's a shame I get treated in such a despicable way. 

I have left the forum but I'm still the member here for the purpose of journaling. 

People here are very desperate to get me banned. My need to heal is greater than your need to ban me. Consider that someone is simply trying to seek help. Everyone needs help in some form, even those that you consider unpleasant or annoying. 

I might be annoying to you but I'm still a human being behind this computer screen and I deserve respect as much as you do. 

Please stop to think that whatever you think about me could also be completely wrong. Don't be so self righteous in your speculations and so hard on your projections. 

I want any communication to be devoid of my personal details.. I don't want any validation or attention, that's never been my goal. My only goal is to find healing for myself and my journaling helps with that. Journals are meant for personal use because that's where you can open without anxiety and scrutiny. Do not use people's vulnerabilities against them. Do not use my journal details as an ammo to attack me. It defeats the purpose of journaling. 

Do not attack my post count or the person who is trying to Simply help me. My post count does not hinder your progress. 

Recently the rumour is spreading in the forum that I might have created another user profile and act as a male. This is simply not true. He is a different user. You can confirm this with mods. Mods can Skype me and my boyfriend for confirmation if they want. We are two separate people and two separate accounts. Please stop this false  rumour. 

Attacking someone's personal life is not only hazardous but also against forum guidelines. 

I have removed my followers which actually took 3 years to gather, just because people were constantly speculating that I'm looking for validation. 

I say it not once but a million times that I don't need your attention and or validation. I'm simply trying to exist and heal in peace. Please let me. Please don't use every opportunity to attack my character. You don't know me and will probably never will. Please don't use this thread as an opportunity to attack my character. Everyone has character flaws and nobody is perfect. Let's not use that to make someone feel miserable. 

My only humble request is that I be left alone. Please don't mention or quote me anymore on the forum as I have officially left it a week ago because of all the trolling and harassing. I understand that getting rid of trolls is difficult. Yet I expect a minimum level of decency from members to not encourage the trolls. Don't support this behavior by talking and speculating about me.. 

Please leave me alone and out of your discussions and gossips. Now that I have left the forum, this has to be easy. 

I make a public appeal to this forum to leave me and my personal life alone. We are here to learn and grow, let's focus on ourselves and not on what others are doing with their lives. 

I don't like people discussing my personal life since this is just a personal development website. 

How would you feel if someone targeted your personal life? 

Lets not encourage this behavior on the forum. 

I ask nothing from you all and I want nothing from you all, I don't want your attention. In fact it's a blessing when I don't get attention. 

I understand that I might have engaged in certain things that might have appeared as attention seeking but those were out of innocence and naivety, never out of purpose. I'm aware that I tend to attract more attention than usual wherever I go and that's why in real life I avoid going to places. So I come online where I feel relatively less anxious. I can't help people giving me attention, it is what it is, although I highly detest it and wish I never got any attention. I just don't like it. 

My humble request - 

Please leave me alone and maybe my life will get better. 

Thanks.