To Attached To Friends

[Scarecrow]

Hello, I feel like I have a problem with being to needy and jealous with my friends. I feel the need to always check my phone to see if any of them text me. Also I feel i would be jealous if they were to hang out together without me. I was wondering is anyone had advice or tips on how to stop being so clinging. I would like to have friends and not be so attached.

[Christian]

Firstly, I would say that the problem in internal meaning it has something to do with you. More specifically, it is your perception that generates these emotions of jealousy and neediness within you - not your friends. 

So I would say that you take 100% responsibility for these emotions and start meditating daily if you want the real solution that leads to lasting change. It will take time, probably years to be realistic, but it is definetly worth it.

The false solution for you is distractimg you from your emotions by changing your external environment to serve that purpose. 

[Swede]

@Scarecrow You can play with the idea that you can be perfectly happy and fulfilled in life without having any friends at all. It is no rule having friends is good or bad, right or wrong. This insight can be a relieve for some people. Spending time alone is often a good thing.

Study the subject of friendship. Ask yourself questions like: What is a good friend? Do I need friends? How many friends do I want? What is a friend? What kind of friends do I want in my life? Am I a good friend? When do I need to spend time alone? This makes you more confident in who you are and what you want in your friendships.

Meditation will help you too.

[Guest username]

Like they said, if you aren't meditating, you should totally start.

Also, try reading about relationships in general. 

Spoiler: You will realize that you are the one creating these feelings. You have to do deep inner work to uncover all the mechanisms that play that allow you to create this suffering for yourself. 

 

You are only going to be truly fulfilled and happy if you can drop these feelings, not relying on external circumstances like the right friendships to do it for you. The fact that you are  becoming aware, taking responsibility, and looking inward bode well for you.

Keep it up. You'll get there!

[5thPablo]

Don't worry this will definitely not take you years to achieve.