Daily Emotional State

[Preety_India]

Will have to keep a track on this 

It's not going to be beautiful.

It's going to be ugly 

Like super ugly 

 

Write your truest emotions here.

Emotional state for July 2021.

 

[Preety_India]

One thing I noticed that there is too much stage Orange and shallowness around me that kills my spirit.

 

[Preety_India]

I'll write down things that agitate me

I'm stage Green. I like stage Green values.

Things that annoy me endlessly and make me angry.

What is exactly triggering my emotions?

• Stage Orange bullshit
• Obstruction
• Lack of authenticity
• Lack of integrity
• Distemper culture. Fake culture
• Excessive negativity and criticisms
• suffocating Authoritarian behaviour
• Hedonism
• Lack of compassion/empathy/understanding
• Materialistic culture
• Lack of humanity 
• Slander and purposeful misunderstanding.
• Suppression of Emotions
• Stalkerish obsession with hateful agenda

 

 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

In order to feel happy, I need to remove the above triggers.

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Okay where did I left off ?

 

[Preety_India]

I shoudnt be angry at a particular person/world.

I should be angry at the sentiment/behaviour/action within a particular situation.

In this case the trigger usually comes from reading stage Orange stuff.

I'm Stage Green.

So a lot of Stage Orange stuff can trigger the heck out of me 

Like people discussing wealth etc.

 

 

[Preety_India]

I do like to integrate the healthy aspects of stage Orange like discipline, ambition, organization and achievement.

But I don't like judging people based on a list, competitions, rat race cultures, capitalism, lack of compassion for environment, objectification of women, the territory where we begin to enter Toxic Stage Orange.

 

[Preety_India]

I also find stage Orange very hyper masculine.

That contradicts my feminine nature a lot 

I don't like this unabashed masculinity where it's their terrain with no feminine integration and anything feminine is shamed and considered weak.

I feel threatened by such Aggressive masculinity.

I find it utter nonsense and toxic 

 

[Preety_India]

Now I want to take things on a razor sharp edge 

Enough fooling around and playing around.

I'm slowly veering into another territory of my life.

Thanks Actualized Org for all the negative experiences you gave me .

 

It jettisoned me in another direction. 

Took me to the right place where I needed to be.

These experiences taught me the masculine aspects of stage Orange and how toxic they can be.

I have grown up tremendously socially in the past 2 months.

A lot of it is stage Orange being grilled into my face and the resistance I developed to it.

From there I realized how freaking lacking half of humanity is when it comes to values of mercy, compassion and empathy.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have used some clever metaphors in the text above 

And I need to get smarter and cleverer by the day.

I need to grow up at jet speed if my goal is to achieve Emotional equanimity as a woman.

 

Feminism is my greatest refuge so far and Feminism will continue to define woman and womanhood for centuries to come 

 

Women who took refuge in Feminism know all that they had to grow through, miles and miles of walking through deserts and storms to come to this point of tranquility.

It's like coming to water finally after the longest walk through the desert.

Women are finally discovering their femininity.

In their own unique ways.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Women have been bashed, shamed, called crazy for simply being emotional.

A favourite thing to do when a woman opens up about her experiences is to ridicule and mock her or call her a drama queen.

 

[Preety_India]

Feminism is like a warm cozy blanket that you can wrap around yourself and be totally warm and fuzzy under it.

It gives you strength and courage to battle the storms of aggression and emotional violence.

As women we not only face physical violence but also Emotional violence in this world that often goes unchecked.

Because it's so easy to show physical scars. So damn difficult to show mental and emotional scars.

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I didn't know that women had to try so damn fucking hard just to prove themselves.

But nevermind. I'll take up the challenge.

 

 

[Preety_India]

Somewhere down the lane, you lose your innocence as a woman in all of this challenging and fighting.

 

I call it TOTAL WAR.

 

So put on your Armor woman. Get ready. 

Every time I thought I can be a bit lenient and nice to a man, he slapped me across the face and taught me a different story.

I don't like to push away men but when a man completely disregards your well-being and respect, you're left with little option other than standing up for yourself and self preservation.

Because if you don't survive a male dominated world, how are you fucking supposed to even be a woman ??

So yea when you are placed in a war zone, you can't afford to laugh innocently, that's not a luxury you get.

 

 

[Preety_India]

How is it that every time I had a man as a friend, he always Turned out to be an effeminate regular guy.

 

What does it indicate ?

 

Of course I was attracted to Alpha busy boys and I can't deny that. 

But I'm kinda losing that luster I carried in my eyes for such men 

Now they look like toads that never matured. 

There is so much growth that I needed as a woman and all of the slaps I received contributed to this growth.

 

Now I only want to look at a man who is super friendly to me..

Nothing else matters

 

Cut out all men from my peripheral vision who don't meet this basic standard.

They might act like they care ...no no no no no no no no..

Now talking to myself 

Get this grilled into your goddamn head girl....they don't care about you .

 

You fucking trust them too much. They only care about their male agenda. That's why you have this internal struggle with them.

When you find a decent man, ALL STRUGGLE ENDS. REALIZE THIS 

YOU GOT IT NOW ???

No need to be Emotional. I know you're going mad about how you were screwed over and still didn't learn your lesson on emotional safety.

It's okay, let it out 

 

[Preety_India]

That's what is called raising your boundaries as a woman.

Yes that 

 

[Preety_India]

I wish I had a feminist mother who had taught me all the goodies of being a woman 

Instead I got a bitch.

This is what happens when you're raised by a bitch 

You become clueless about navigating the World as a woman.

Today I'm in my most vulnerable state.

I mean right now. 

As raw as I can be .

 

Because it fucking hurts inside 

 

[Preety_India]

Eventual I will come to a point of peace after battling all these Emotional storms.

I'll be set free

 

But before that I need to go through this huge bulk of psychoemotional processing to get to that.

 

[Preety_India]

That's why I let myself go through these Emotional outbursts and upheavals because these are the best moments where I gain splendid intellectual bits of insights into a difficult world as a young woman.

 

[Preety_India]

An uncivilized man like you is going to rape my vagina.

But a civilized man like you is going to rape my womanhood.

 

In the end I'll be set free from both of you.