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Manusia

How to deal with rejection/disaproval?

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Posted (edited)

This issue is really though to me. I walk in highly conformist way before. And this time is my first time to become aware of myself and questioning lot of different things. I talk truthfully and what I really means inside my heart. The independence is big but the rejection is massive.

And I really impressed with people that talk about different view related to society. They scolded a lot, bully and humiliating is inevitable. 

Ofcourse I aware that I can be the one that weird and not placing myself in the right attitude towards other people. Or might be not.

Choosing to say yes and not talk truthfully is easy. And maybe more effective. But yeah I in that road before.. the lie make my head headache. Walk in different path now.

If you consider to be bulky and have different view on world related to your enviroment.. what do you do to cope with that emotional burden?  

Edited by Manusia

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Posted (edited)

One question that might help you is,

"So what?"

So what are the consequences if I have a different view than the people around me?

So what if I think about different opinions?

So what--is the world going to end today?

So what--will they say, "go to hell"?

I am not saying, "be disrespectful," or "punch their teeth out." No.

Even though you are developing broader thoughts, you continue to need stability. You still need community, fairness, care and courage, persistence (hard work), and clever  decisions.

The people around you are taking advantage of your need for stability to undermine what you want. They are bullying you, excluding you, and saying that you are bad. But there are exceptions to their rules, right? Maybe they are jealous of you because they are unhappy, and they lack the integrity to care about you. 

Be respectful, but be strong. Exercise. Keep your discipline, but see that love is patient. Even if you are wrong--love is patient. Like life--it is not the end of the world because you have different perspectives. 

 

Edited by RobertZ

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@RobertZ your advice is good actually, resonated. Thanks brah. Thats a thing. 

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@Manusia

It seems like you are feeling their actions of rejection, but you are feeling your perspective, arising of some unprocessed internalizations… which you are… rejecting. If you accept that sometimes people embrace someone or something, and sometimes people reject someone or something…then you become aware that you do the same thing… and then you are not ‘triggered’ or affected, because you understand & embrace this truth. In hindsight perhaps, you will feel more of the connective-delight for unknowingly having honored your preferences, and this will spill into your life as insights and more intuitively certain direction & guidance. 

Lot of truth and freedom in what @RobertZ shared.  Reminded me of the old sales training advice in regard to rejection… “some will, some won’t - so what.” 


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@Nahm yeah thats good advice.. thanks!

OOT : I have been contemplating your advice. Everything that in our thought is always arising in our perspective. And always be.. I cannot escape perspective because anything always perspective plate. But if any weird emotion is arise in perspective, so is that we need to think that intellectually to accept any emotion? or just feel it raw? then if I choose to feel it raw, there is always something clashing and make more worse sometimes. How you reconcile this?

Note : Im highly sensitive so sometimes weird vibes when I in my home arise in my conscioussness. Before healing, I just like zombie controlled by that weird sensation/emotion that attached to different place in my body. Like live inside in dry mud. Cannot see clearly, cant think, even cannot uderstand word. And this sensitive stuff is still happening.. but it not as bad as before.

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