Dealing with my sexual urges

[Preety_India]

 

Sometimes I think in my dreams of a man who is making love with me not just to fulfill his male agenda with me but also Because he wants to fulfill me as a woman as well. Because he considers my sexual desires as well.

Often with my past boyfriends, it was only their sexual desires that were super important during sex leaving me feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled as a woman.

I think a man (while having sex) should also consider how the woman feels and what she desires rather than thinking only about himself 

It can lead to feelings of being used as an object.

It doesn't fulfill me Emotionally and sexually when a man is having sex with me to only get what he wants 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Me not wanting to have sex is a self imposed ban that will continue as long as I don't feel safe emotionally.

 

[Hulia]

Did you read a journal of Ivankiss? He massaged his lover for half an hour! And after that he kissed her for another half an hour! And only after that he had sex with her. I mean... Wow! 

Though I am not sure that I would feel safe with him. Isnt´t it a little too professional? And that red light from the bed, Isnt´t too exaggerated? I mean a sex which is taken too seriously....

[Preety_India]

@Hulia I don't read other journals here except maybe your journal sometimes.

I don't have enough time to fill my own journals let alone take time to read other journals!

 

 

[Preety_India]

Let go let go let go.......

 

I know it hurts but I need to console myself 

Some desires just aren't met.

 

[Preety_India]

Also remember desires can be very temporary.

 

[Preety_India]

 

People who are more desperate or appear so are just more horny and there can be many reasons for this horniness.

It can be straight up biological, raging hormones through their brains making them want sex really bad. This depends a lot on their hormonal constitution which varies from person to person. 

Only people with raging hormones can understand how badly they want sex. Society tends to shame and demonize such people. So they have to control themselves. 

If right now you're injected with a huge dose of hormones, you will keep thinking about sex all the time and become quite desperate to get anyone that you can get 

You have to be grateful if you haven't experienced that state of horniness because the desperation can drive you crazy.

So I would say have compassion for those who are desperate. They're poor creatures struggling to control themselves.

Also desperation is irrespective of gender 

 

They are teen girls who get desperate for sex and  have  sex with some neighborhood guy (who could be total asshole ) and end up getting pregnant.

Desperation is seen in both men and women.

In women it's kinda less because society tends to shame and repress women from being too open about their sexual desires.

If a woman acted desperate she is met with judgements like " you're being a whore," "have some self respect," "you don't have self esteem," "you're so desperate for men," "you're a bimbo," "don't have sex with some random dude," "your sexual desires are not healthy," "you're being shameless".....the list goes on and on.

When women are shamed in that manner if they are desperate to get the Dick in their mouths, that's where women learn that expressing such desires is taboo or shameful and they begin to repress themselves and over time it becomes a general precedent that a woman should never act too desperate or horny for men otherwise she is being a whore 

Men however aren't shamed this way.

There is no whore equivalent for men.

Often men are praised and considered manly if they have strong sexual desires and they are even complimented if they hunt down many women in the bedroom

 

[Preety_India]

Sex is extremely important to me.

 

 

[Preety_India]

Pretty soon sex becomes a routine and one loses interest.

 

[Preety_India]

There are also periods when I completely lose interest in sex after a long period of masturbation.

I masturbate with a dildo.

Sometimes my overactive sexual imagination means I won't need a dildo 

 

Other times I would need a dildo for a climax feeling 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

If I want to get sex, I should simply focus on my own agenda.

No drama. No fuss.

This is an empowered way of thinking.

Just get what you want.

Yesterday a guy sent me a sexy message.

Out of respect to SKB who I'm currently dating, I didn't reply to that guy's texts 

Maybe he is hot.. maybe he is not.

I don't know.

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Sex is only one thing ........

Only one thing......

 

 

Your own agenda.

... absolutely nothing else.

 

You get what you want and focus on nothing else

 

When it's raw sexual desire it can be with anyone.

 

But I have taken an oath of chastity.

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Gave this advice to someone on controlling horniness.

Useful to me too 

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Bob Seeker

Watch it occasionally but try to restrict yourself as much as possible.

Sometimes use your own imagination and masturbation with a sex toy or your hands.

It's important to control your horniness and erotic instincts and preserve it for your future partner..

Because too much porn caused loss of interest in women and less attraction to the normal female body due to over stimulation and excessive dopamine and the risk of addiction..

Also porn changes your brain chemistry to like porn only by acting on your receptors so you begin to lose interest in real life romance 

In the past whenever I watched porn, I was less likely to ask sex from my ex boyfriend and the sex didn't feel good in terms of stimulation.

 

Porn kinda inhibits the real sex instinct and makes sex look boring 

So I don't watch porn anymore. And because of that I have started getting interested in men again.

Control the porn habit and keep it minimum 

Don't try to achieve maximum pleasure through it so some part of you is always craving for experience with a real woman .

 

 

[Preety_India]

Some of the people on some of the threads in the journal section.

Totally crazy.

Lots of passive aggression. 

Lots of unwanted advice and suggestions.

Lot of controlling others.

 

[Preety_India]

Anyway the best advice that I can give to a woman is this

 

• Protect yourself at all costs.
• your emotions are sacred and divine.

Dont let any man take emotional advantage of you.

When that happens, everything is lost.

 

You're reduced to bits , you sink into a blackhole because you trusted a man so much only for him to betray you.

When that happens, you're completely broken.

If such men come to you, just say no and move on.

 

 

As a woman, you deserve way better than someone ruining your trust and playing your emotions.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

For a woman her emotions are her greatest treasure.

 

Don't let your emotions be wasted on fruitless men.

Set up walls around you that only a real Prince can climb.

 

 

[Preety_India]

And my advice to a woman is.

 

Please don't give into this anti feminist rhetoric.

Which assumes that any woman who doesn't satisfy male agenda is a bad woman.

This is a strategy of brainwashing you.

It's morally depraved.

When some man tells you that you aren't worth a dime if you aren't sleeping with a man, don't listen to that.

 

Keep your sexual boundaries strong and intact.

 

You don't have to prove shit to the world.

You're a woman, no less.

 

The world cannot rule your body.

 

 

My advice to a woman-

You're great. Set yourself free.

Do what is right to you not what is right for society.

You come first. Society comes later.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm trying to control but it's hard. 

Sometimes it's hard to focus on anything. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm developing new fetishes. 

These are just a Natural part of my self. 

It's so hard though. 

I can imagine him laughing and saying - "I'll make it har..... umm." just shut up preety. 

 

[Preety_India]

His every word can drive me insane. 

But anyway, back to my fetishes.