Why is this so hard?

[EddieEddie1995]

@Meditationdude This shit is the best thing you can do! It will pay off! And you will loughed how silly you were ?

Keep going!

Recognize backlashes, let yourself backalide, smoke some weed, watch few movies, re energize and gat back to work! 

Consider backslading as one more conscious practise 

 

The main point of this post 

"Jurk off consciously" hahahahah! 

[Eternity]

This is an uphill journey at times. I sometimes tire of it, having been on it for years.  But as Sri Nisaragatta says:  stop looking for what you already are.  You are "that" even when you can't see it or the ego can't see it, rather.  Ego resists at every opportunity.  So you can't really announce your intentions of ridding yourself of ego, because there will be resistance of course from ego.  That's when you get things that really mess up your life.  I've had those periods in life too.  I've learned to slow it down a bit, relax, take some time to let the ego just think you are giving up.  And then without giving yourself away, you just go back to your normal meditating and other practices.  It sounds like a ridiculous game.  But I've watched a lot  of Alan Watts' videos and he I believe practiced Buddhism had been taught this strategy by a Buddhist priest.  But I've also found that reading  "A Course in Miracles" really helpful.  I read and studied it for at least 5 years solid and I still read when I feel I'm running on empty.  It fills up the emptiness, and at the same time it straightens out the pathway. The reason this works so well is that the language of the book is not written in linear fashion like most books.  The introduction is helpful but sort of dry.  Then the text feels like you are reading random sentences at first, but after some further reading it begins to set off light bulb moments.  Upon trying to figure out why this works, I realized the phrasing is such that it lowers the ego resistance and also confuses the ego tendency to take over and use it as a weapon.  It appeals directly to the God consciousness inside.  I always feel like I've had a spiritual makeover every time I pick it up again, no matter where I happen to open it.  It penetrates the ego's efforts to derail you without a feeling of having to force anything. I recommend that along with meditation to keep the ego attacks to a minimum.  You begin to hear the inner voice rather than the ego voice that shouts and chatters all day long.  I laugh to think I was so resistant to reading it at first, I was so done with religion.  But believe me, it's not a religion.  It was written by a psychiatrist who began to hear this inner voice and thought she might be a mental case until she ran it by a colleague who, rather than thinking it was just a bunch of nonsense, had an epiphany, and saw that it was truly a path to inner peace.  And that's how it became a book.  However I believe there are free "ACIM" in pdf files from the original text on the internet if you do a search.

[Leo Gura]

@Meditationdude Perhaps take some time to develop non-spiritual aspects of yourself, like your nutrition, your relationships, your career.

Too much existential/spiritual work can become counter-productive. You gotta balance it out with more ordinary work. Like, go work on your career, build some skills, make some sales. Then come back to spirituality and you'll appreciate it more.