Could relaxation techniques be a form of repression?

[Farnaby]

Hi everyone!

Recently, I've been thinking about this topic quite a bit. It seems to me that many people who are suffering from anxiety and other symptoms use relaxation, breathing techniques, grounding techniques and so on as a coping mechanism. 

It's something I used to do too and it's completely understandable because the suffering can be so intense that anything that gives some sense of control over these symptoms is a huge relief. I also think it's way better to depend on internal skills such as breathing techniques, meditation and so on instead of external stuff (substances, psychiatric medication, videogames, etc.). 

However, I wonder if these techniques could be a form of repression, because most of us learn them because we want to get rid of a symptom (i.e panic). 

Another problem I often see is that we tend to build a "tool-box" with a lot of different techniques for ourselves, which could subconsciously reinforce beliefs like "I'm broken and need to fix this", "I shouldn't be feeling this", "I need all these techniques to be normal".

My concern, based on my personal experience, is that this could actually prevent us from really healing because we aren't allowing the emotions and trauma that got stuck and created our symptoms in the first place to be completely felt and released.

What are your thoughts on this?

[mandyjw]

Anything that feels like relief is a relief. If we start thinking, "I need to mediate every morning or I'll suffer all day or if something comes up and we don't have time for breathing techniques or whatever else and then believe that we'll feel bad, or won't get the enlightenment I want and need, then it feels like pressure, not relief. You use techniques to become more in-tune with your true Self, and how you feel which is the indicator of how in-tune or not in-tune with that you are. But you have to be in tune with how you feel about the techniques themselves in the moment, separating the actual experience of something from the concept of it. Sometimes the desire to feel better can be a true movement towards what is real and seeing through illusion but if thought grabs ahold of it and disregards feeling, it turns the broken self as a new identity. Ultimately, it's all good, it's all part of an exploration. If one can maintain an honest, authentic, attitude of fun and curiosity and humor about it all, they are a lot less likely to settle for contrivances. 

[ted73104]

Hi Farnaby,

I agree with your observation! Sometimes our ego wants to preserve a certain form of self-image. In this process, the ego tells the self that it has to do this or fix that, and is sort of placing a judgement on the self. Under these judgements, the self is not able to express its true emotion and is therefore hurting itself in some way by not fully accepting itself.

We all need to just be what we are, instead of forcing ourselves to get out of a current state that we're in which we very much do not like.

[Farnaby]

@mandyjw thank you, that's really helpful. Maybe I'm overthinking it and if it provides relief it means it's good for your body, mind and soul. However, I know how sneaky the ego can be and how it can hijack healthy practices and transform them into an obstacle to deep healing. I guess the key is what you said: to be in tune with how you feel about the techniques and to be mindful in order to notice when they are becoming part of the problem and not the solution. 

@ted73104 yes, that's exactly what I mean. For instance, maybe instead of trying to control our panic response with different breathing techniques, deeper healing would happen if we could completely be with that feeling and express it, while being supported and validated by someone who doesn't judge it or runs away but stays with us through the whole process until we come back to a state of regulation. 

I know this can be scary and maybe it's a good idea to first develop some self-soothing skills before diving into de painful emotions, but I think sooner or later you need to allow them to surface fully if you want to really heal. 

[seeking_brilliance]

How better to face a fear than in a relaxed state? 

[Farnaby]

@seeking_brilliance I'm actually going one step before facing the fear. What I mean is that instead of trying to get rid of it through some technique, in my experience it's way more powerful to fully allow the feeling, shake if you need to shake, make a sound if you need to, etc. This usually leads to the fear dissipating by itself, without having to do anything else about it than being present with it and not resisting it in any way. 

However you're right about the importance of being as relaxed as possible when you expose yourself to your fears. 

[seeking_brilliance]

True, I feel where you're coming from.  Shake it off!