Preety_India

How to motivate myself to achieve goals?

19 posts in this topic

I kinda suck at motivating myself. 

Any advice or suggestion is helpful.. 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a bit of a vague question. When you make a goal, what is the most likely thing to happen? Do you regularly give in to certain distractions? What kind of excuses do you make? Do you have a clear roadmap for goals? A clear first step? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Elevated none of those. 

I mean I have none. Nothing like a first step. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, well I feel like a really good video for you would be, "How to Stop Backsliding"

The gist, is that you have to start small. Pick a single small habit you'd like to implement into your life, like let's say meditation, and aim to do that for at least 10 minutes each day. Pick a consistent time, preferably in the morning, and then make sure you meditate every day at that time. Once you have that down, add something else. 

That's a good theory starting point, but are there any specific goals you have in mind? 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Elevated said:

That's a good theory starting point, but are there any specific goals you have in mind? 

I've many goals in mind this year. 

I want to eat clean, socialize more, read more, learn new skills, work on my fatigue issues, get more organized with my life etc

 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a lot of very vague goals. One of the best videos in Leo's Ultimate Life Purpose Course is about taking abstract goals and making them concrete. What single goal do you think would have the widest effect while being the most immediately implementable? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Elevated said:

That's a lot of very vague goals. One of the best videos in Leo's Ultimate Life Purpose Course is about taking abstract goals and making them concrete. What single goal do you think would have the widest effect while being the most immediately implementable? 

That goal would be eating clean. 

I ate some junk food yesterday though. 

The thing is I never get around doing something I need to do. 

It's like my mind wants it but then I push it away somehow. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay cool. So are you usually eating quite well, it's just that you eat junk food every once in a while? Or is your diet a little haphazard right now? 

I think a really good skill for you would be journalling and meditation (if you're not already).

I say journalling because having a review at the end of the day can be very beneficial for long-term improvement. If you end your day and ask yourself some key questions about how you did on the specific goal you're trying to implement, like what you did that worked today, what you did that didn't work today, etc, you are slowly creating a model of conduct for that behaviour.

Right now, it seems like you just don't really care enough about these goals. That might be difficult to hear, but it may just come down to that. I've definitely been in the position where I had a certain goal and it was almost as if I "forgot" about the goal until after I'd given up on it. Like drinking a coke when I said I'd stop drinking it. By journalling you're making that goal more salient in your mind so that you weigh it more. 

I think I'd also recommend the book, "Can't Hurt Me," by David Goggins. It personifies the Stage Blue honest, nose to the grindstone work ethic. There's no such thing as motivation, only discipline. Ironically enough, that book will get you motivated as fuck. His story is amazing and incredibly inspiring. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Elevated

Thanks for your patience with me by the way. 

I must be hella irritating to deal with. 

You're really helping me. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Elevated said:

Right now, it seems like you just don't really care enough about these goals. That might be difficult to hear, but it may just come down to that.

Yea this comes close to how I feel. 

I'm about to have a mental breakdown now. Because it's been so difficult. 

I have been struggling for years now to kinda correct myself. 

I mean even if I had to die right now, the only thing I would tell myself is honestly I at least tried to do something about it, although I actually didn't do much, but it's a part of that eternal struggle. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Elevated

Thanks for your patience with me by the way. 

I must be hella irritating to deal with. 

You're really helping me. 

 

Don't worry about it at all! This is exactly what this forum is for. 

And yeah I totally get it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I really think it comes down to the fact that your vision is too vague and you're trying to change too much without a plan that really lights that fire within you. Again, that book is great. I also have to risk sounding like a shill at this point, but Leo's course is immensely valuable for getting that sense of clarity and purpose. I think it's well worth the purchase. 

My main advice though, is to just start with one habit and the basics. Pick a concrete goal, make it SMART, and commit doing it. I would recommend making it an Adding Habit, rather than a Removal Habit. You'll get more out of it if you start actually doing something rather than focus on not doing something.

For me, consistent meditation has been a bit of a struggle for far too long. I made the habit of meditating first thing in the morning. I would sit upright so I didn't fall asleep and aimed to get at least 10 minutes. Slowly but surely I've been able to raise that to 30 minutes. That's what you need to do. Start building that momentum and develop that action taking muscle with just a single thing. 

 

Edited by Elevated

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Post your plan here, make it public and we can help keep you accountable. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Elevated said:

Post your plan here, make it public and we can help keep you accountable. 

I kinda feel shameful to do that because I feel like I will fail. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you fail, then you learn the lessons, you pick yourself back up, and you try again. No one here is perfect, and you don't have to be perfect either. You don't have to hide yourself. You are deserving of success even if you fail time and time again. We are all in this together and there is only love here. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Elevated thank you. Maybe not right away but I guess I'll be mentally ready to do that. 

But right now feeling quite nervous about going with it. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's totally fine. Make the plan of action first. Get that part out of the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me on a personal level though, life is enough as life to be a motivation. I don’t need any person, thing, external, etc. The end game for me is just to observe and adjust to more accurate patterns. When you’re in presence, truly, motivation reveals itself, check my phone (no point right now), grab some water (no need right now though), wait I’ll shift my bottle because it’s in the sun... etc. This latter aspect speaks to reactive motivation, I see being motivated purely by life itself as active motivation as it comes from the intellect and intelligence as well after lived experience has resulted in categories such as life, in this sense, life to be lived. Fully? Partially? These are just movements of the bowels, you shift around the internal patterns until you’re completely internally free to the point that you can move calmly to more actualised patterns like as noted an active pattern that isn’t hampered by what is in the moment choiceless karma (I.e. feelings within the body and mind we ought to process to process better, which can often be done by finding and following said active pattern when one leverages their activity towards prioritising awareness in that sense).

Edited by Origins

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now