I get irritated while speaking to this girl

[Strangeloop]

They way she questions... the way she talks...

You know why it irritates me? Because I acted the same exact way before...

I don't know how to deal with it. Just one word out of her mouth and *puf* I'm angry

Thoughts?

[Roy]

You're already much farther along than you realize. The fact you're even aware of your emotions when talking to her is half way to finding a solution. Now that you notice your emotions, breathe. Let them rise, feel what you feel about them, and then let them pass....

Don't dwell on the anger, or the content of what she is saying, that will cause you to react to it and just feed the irritation further. Respond to her in a way that will feel better than anger, because you're mindful of what that anger feels like and how it's the place you don't want to be.

It's ok to be irritated or whatever. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else. All you can do is the best you can. She may always be a little frustrating to you, but is that worth any more stress than it already is? Nope, and you can keep it that way.

 

[Preety_India]

Learn to control impulsive behaviors. 

It ruins happiness.. It's about you if that person didn't genuinely meant to hurt. 

 

[flowboy]

@Strangeloop  You used to act this way, and then something caused you to stop it. So no matter the reason, the fact is: you repressed it in yourself.

So you repressed it in others as well, because those two can not be separated. That's why she irritates you.

You have two choices: avoid people who remind you of what you don't like in yourself, or do shadow work and integrate the shadow.

One option is not always better than the other, but when you get stuck in option A, use option B.