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non_nothing

Rant about suffering depression anxeity

3 posts in this topic

It never gotten any better. Back again where I start always. Or worse more back. I don't know what I want from this life. I've tried everything to battle. I bet I tried everything you'll say as suggestion in this thread already. I hate myself. Never loved mysself. I have defeated in every aspect and every form in this life. Now this stresss I had for years started to take toll over my body physically. Now I suffer every kind of pain, neck pain, body pain, shoulder pain, headache. Days are always in pain. Far worse is being a man. Nobody cares about you. We're doomed to suffer then die. No friends no one says hi no nothing fuck, I seriously need to disappear from this world in an instant. Why do I even write this post? It won't change anything. "Yeah" "Sorry" "Try this" "That" "No" "Yes" "You're wrong" "You're right" Makes no fucking sense. Will just Keep my mind busy.

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I can really relate to what you described. Depression is hell on Earth. It has a zombie-like feature -- not totally alive, not dead either.

The thing is, no amount of books, advice, venting will get you out of this. Sorry. It might kinda help, but depression will sooner or later creep in once again. Why? Because it's a chronic illness.

I'd highly suggest you go see a psychiatrist. Yea, I know that sounds kinda lame and pointless. But it is the best chance you have from getting out of this quagmire of numbness. Technically, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. So, sorry, you ain't gonna win against your biochemistry alone.

There are good psychiatrists out there. If you manage to find a decent one, it's totally fucking worth it. If it's a shitty one, it's better that you don't do anything. Bad treatment is worse than no treatment at all. 

See depression as a chronic illness, such as diabetes. It has no cure, but it is possible to keep it under control, If a person who has diabetes doesn't take insulin, things will get really bad for him. And as time goes by, it'll get worse and worse.

Antidepressants have a bad rep, but if the doctor finds the right one, it can be life-saving. I speak from personal experience.

Feel free to send me PMs if you feel like it.

Best of luck, man! Remember that it is possible to get out of this and be your natural self once again on a consistent basis. And lemme tell you: it feels like paradise. The worldly problems that people complain about are fuckin peanuts compared to what depression feels like.

The hope is in science.


“There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ― Dr. Seuss

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