Stage green & blue relationship

[aklacor727]

Stage blue & green in a romantic relationship...I've been contemplating this lately and trying to weigh the pros of the qualities of this person and what they would bring to my life, with the cons of the differences of values..

We are not in a relationship, actually were in a long term back and forth relationship in the past, and just recently reconnected and talking about giving things another shot. Looking back,  it makes alot of sense why we didn't work out, as alot of him was in (unhealthy) stage red, and I was in orange/green. Had no idea about spiral dynamics at the time but now that I do of course I am weighing this....

He is VERY heavy into stage blue now and I am pretty heavily green. This is a HUGE progress for him, but of course there are still huge differences in values, and looking at things in the long term, as he and I continue to progress up the spiral  there will continue to be more. But looking back it was the unhealthy aspects of stage red that really was a deal breaker for me. No doubt he is past that and fully in stage blue (hopefully healthy, I need time to discover that).

How much value do you put in to spiral dynamics, and choosing a partner that is on the same wavelength as you in regards to that...?

There are other aspects to everything that I am weighing as well of course, but wanted to at least get the opinions of you all in here in regards to the spiral and what may be wise to consider in this situation, if I am looking for a long term lasting relationship... ?

 

 

[Roy]

6 hours ago, aklacor727 said:

How much value do you put in to spiral dynamics, and choosing a partner that is on the same wavelength as you in regards to that...?

 

@aklacor727 None. If you love each other, have great communication, and a strong foundation of trust and honesty..........Spiral Dynamics values don't really matter. Of course people who are closer together on the Spiral are more likely to resonate with each other, but that doesn't mean a relationship can't work out between people at different levels. Happens all the time.

SD is more for understanding groups anyways, not individuals.

[aklacor727]

@Roy thank you! This makes me feel better. That's what I was thinking,  the foundational aspects are what's going to make the difference, as people will always be changing and growing anyway. 

I will have to see how my emotions/love for him grow as we build this new foundation. . It got so bad before that I literally became numbed towards him. But time will tell ? 

[Onemanwolfpac]

15 hours ago, aklacor727 said:

Stage blue & green in a romantic relationship...I've been contemplating this lately and trying to weigh the pros of the qualities of this person and what they would bring to my life, with the cons of the differences of values..

We are not in a relationship, actually were in a long term back and forth relationship in the past, and just recently reconnected and talking about giving things another shot. Looking back,  it makes alot of sense why we didn't work out, as alot of him was in (unhealthy) stage red, and I was in orange/green. Had no idea about spiral dynamics at the time but now that I do of course I am weighing this....

He is VERY heavy into stage blue now and I am pretty heavily green. This is a HUGE progress for him, but of course there are still huge differences in values, and looking at things in the long term, as he and I continue to progress up the spiral  there will continue to be more. But looking back it was the unhealthy aspects of stage red that really was a deal breaker for me. No doubt he is past that and fully in stage blue (hopefully healthy, I need time to discover that).

How much value do you put in to spiral dynamics, and choosing a partner that is on the same wavelength as you in regards to that...?

There are other aspects to everything that I am weighing as well of course, but wanted to at least get the opinions of you all in here in regards to the spiral and what may be wise to consider in this situation, if I am looking for a long term lasting relationship... ?

 

 

You heard the old saying, "opposites attract?" think about two batteries. The same negative negative doesn't work. The same thing for positive positive. Let things go. 

Pursue. See what is out there. If you want anything, you must go for it. If anything is off putting about the spiritual community, its sloth in the form of "i'll manifest it." not, i will go talk to the cute girl over there. It will fall out of the sky and land on my LAP. No, go get it. Whatever it is. If you want a job, more money, you must pursue. Don't complicate it. 

One of the biggest kicks in the junk I have noticed is getting what I want. It could be a date, a job, a career or something i desired only to find significant disappointment. The girl is not a good fit for me. Wants babies yesterday. Wants to have kids but doesn't want to be a mom. Wants to get married but doesn't want to be a wife. The awesome job is just a job. I'm forced to contemplate some more and enjoy the experience. Not chase outcomes. 

[Moon]

IMO, key things such as open mindedness, and being into self development (consciously or not) are key things in a long term relationship partner

If they are stage blue but open minded to other ideas and growth, it could perhaps work...

But I personally think "opposite attracts" works more in the context of different personality types or a few different interests rather than something like huge differences in spiral dynamics stages

[Onemanwolfpac]

5 hours ago, Moon said:

IMO, key things such as open mindedness, and being into self development (consciously or not) are key things in a long term relationship partner

If they are stage blue but open minded to other ideas and growth, it could perhaps work...

But I personally think "opposite attracts" works more in the context of different personality types or a few different interests rather than something like huge differences in spiral dynamics stages

I don't know much about the spirals. I know from a short term perspective, opposites attract (at the very least). The majority of girls i meet differ significantly from political, spiritual, and any other way you will look at it. It doesn't stop two people from having fun. If i discriminate on iq, politics or the color of something may or may not exist seems silly. Why let anything get in the way of a good time?

[electroBeam]

18 hours ago, Onemanwolfpac said:

"opposites attract?"

Lol that's one of the biggest loads of bullshit that humanity has ever dreampt up. "opposites attract" stops outside the bedroom

[Nahm]

@aklacor727

One consideration is that of an actuality of creating & co-creating vastly transcendent (prior to) to abstract models of the projection of mind. “Using” reality, so to speak, which is only ever here & now and does not comprise of past or identity. Perhaps a dreamboard for you, and your s.o., and one shared is the pointing to this. Have to taste it to see. The sameness prior to the fleeting thoughts of difference is delightfully sweet, and most satisfying. If you’re a science buff, you might allow the coagulation of the life and the apparent particle sharing the same true nature of a knowing of what is, or a dreaming and knowing of what’s coming, what’s being created, creating. Where, ultimately, does ‘who each other are’ really ever arrive,  but ‘back’ here in the shedding of projections... now, present and aware of creating, here, now, appearing & becoming. The supporting of each other’s creating, and the lifting of it in togetherness as such, as well. Two people knowing what they are wanting, and sharing this adventure, doesn’t know differences between as no mind is paid to what separates.