Dont Know Which Path To Take

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

So for two years I was doing nothing but devoting myself to chasing women and improving my looks as much as possible. And I was really awesome at this life. So awesome that I became a bit of an internet sensation of sorts in a small red-pill sphere that I wont name. Thats how I met my current girlfriend. After discovering Actualized.org I quit chasing women and settled down with my favorite main girl and started devoting myself to attaining Ultimate Truth, Peace and Eternal Happiness. But then my girlfriend, with her big doe eyes and sweet nature, tempted me back into the world of temporary states of affairs. Now I have almost entirely given up my spiritual pursuits in favor of building an awesome future with her. Which is nice but I just wonder what the hell Im doing sometimes. God or Worldly Affairs? And then on top of that, I have so so so many doubts about her and our relationship, which is a whole other topic. But long story short I have a ton of trust issues especially with her and I really miss sleeping with new girls and I feel like I could go back to that for a few years and have loads of fun and end up with a girl I am more sure about. But I wonder if I could possibly even meet somebody I love as much as this girl. And I wonder if I can handle another few years of exciting but unfulfilling loneliness and constant effort to maintain such a lifestyle. 

So long story short: Girlfriend? Random women? Or God/Enlightenment? Because, while accomplishment is nice, I don't see why chasing any sort of temporary state of affairs makes sense 

Edited July 19, 2016 by Shab-e Ma_araj

[Vlad Ropotica]

@Shab-e Ma_araj meditation means more adaptability ,why do you need to chose something? After 10 months of daily meditation i ended up doing more things then before,why? because i stopped guilting myself ,but ,i haven't gave up meditation. you don't have to give up to your pleasures,but be councious while doing them.you know you can meditate every time? not just 20 -30 minutes a day,and you can do that while doing everything that you are basically doing in your day time.I won't give up to pleasures because i thought its necesary,i will give up to them because i will do them councious and i will realise i don't need them anymore .

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

Thanks for the replies. Your solutions both make sense. But if I gave up worldly pursuits completely (or as much as possible), then i could meditate for hours and hours a day and have a higher chance of realizing Truth

But on the other hand if I learn to always be meditating no matter what I'm doing then that would work too. It's just so difficult

[Leo Gura]

@Shab-e Ma_araj Doesn't sound like you're emotionally or consciously capable of maintaining a healthy relationship with ANY girl. It's not the girl that's the issue. It's you. Always you.

You are trying to escape into a monastic lifestyle but you haven't yet purified yourself of your base needs like sex, love, approval, stimulation, security, etc. So it probably won't be sustainable.

Neither will your relationships be sustainable, because you are relating to people for the wrong, egotistical reasons.

Do the inner work necessary to not have so many cravings. Cause right now you're a slave to them. And to understand what relationships are and how to authentically relate to another human being.

[Bombardini]

@Leo Gura How do you purifie youreself? By chasing after it?

[JustinS]

@Bombardini Understand cravings and aversions at the deeper level of the mind and how this constant flux creates agitation. We cling to cravings, and we avert from pain yet they are both just sensations that are impermanent but it feels as though they are eternal in that moment. 

Meditation is a way to see the unconscious habit pattern of one's mind. Purify the mind by getting rid of all addictions. 

[Mal]

13 hours ago, Bombardini said:

@Leo Gura How do you purifie youreself? By chasing after it?

 

Edited July 20, 2016 by Mal

[Bombardini]

@Mal That's all there is, isn't?

Think I'll try taking some time off the forum and just do the practice.

Thanks Mal!

[Leo Gura]

I'll talk more about overcoming cravings and base desires in the future. That'll make a good video topic. A lot of people get stuck here.

[electroBeam]

@Leo Gura surely there are some situations where the problem is the girl and not you... such as when your values don't align with the girl, or when the girl falls into the categories you described in your red flag video

[Leo Gura]

@electroBeam Those are all still your problem. In that case, your problem is that you're still with the girl.

This is what taking 100% responsibility for your life looks like.

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

@Leo Gura Do you recommend that I end this relationship then? And then what? Be celibate and focus on meditation? Or balance meditation with the life of a normal single male? Or go back to chasing women with reckless abandon but try to work on consciousness-related stuff too?

Edited July 21, 2016 by Shab-e Ma_araj

[99th_monkey]

11 hours ago, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

@Leo Gura Do you recommend that I end this relationship then? And then what? Be celibate and focus on meditation? Or balance meditation with the life of a normal single male? Or go back to chasing women with reckless abandon but try to work on consciousness-related stuff too?

ending it just because youre worried about something that is both created in your head and not real is going to be cause for more problems for you in the future.

i think you need to friggin relax. 

all this stuff that your wanting and worried about, your creating. so take a moment to reflect on that, take the actual body of your little girlie out of it, and look at everything your thinking about. you two may as well be perfect for eachother or down right poisonous, but a forum isnt going to give you sound approval for either, when you get your thoughts in order on the matter and pull your head out of your ass of self the right answer will reveal itself  even if it seems like one you dont want.

please dont make life altering decisions based on a seeming person on your computer screen, thats giving away your power of responsibility trying to coast through life, and all you will do is hurt yourself 

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

I have no idea

Edited July 22, 2016 by Shab-e Ma_araj

[Leo Gura]

On 7/21/2016 at 10:14 AM, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

Do you recommend that I end this relationship then?

I cannot speak to your situation. Only you can know what is best to do there.

[charlie2dogs]

On 7/19/2016 at 11:49 AM, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

So for two years I was doing nothing but devoting myself to chasing women and improving my looks as much as possible. And I was really awesome at this life. So awesome that I became a bit of an internet sensation of sorts in a small red-pill sphere that I wont name. Thats how I met my current girlfriend. After discovering Actualized.org I quit chasing women and settled down with my favorite main girl and started devoting myself to attaining Ultimate Truth, Peace and Eternal Happiness. But then my girlfriend, with her big doe eyes and sweet nature, tempted me back into the world of temporary states of affairs. Now I have almost entirely given up my spiritual pursuits in favor of building an awesome future with her. Which is nice but I just wonder what the hell Im doing sometimes. God or Worldly Affairs? And then on top of that, I have so so so many doubts about her and our relationship, which is a whole other topic. But long story short I have a ton of trust issues especially with her and I really miss sleeping with new girls and I feel like I could go back to that for a few years and have loads of fun and end up with a girl I am more sure about. But I wonder if I could possibly even meet somebody I love as much as this girl. And I wonder if I can handle another few years of exciting but unfulfilling loneliness and constant effort to maintain such a lifestyle. 

So long story short: Girlfriend? Random women? Or God/Enlightenment? Because, while accomplishment is nice, I don't see why chasing any sort of temporary state of affairs makes sense 

this post shows your lack of maturity, maybe the consequences you create with your nonsense and time will help you and then again maybe nothing will.

[Mal]

2 minutes ago, Joe Schmoe said:

@charlie2dogs did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?you're extra you today

This comment has nothing to do with this discussion. Nothing wrong with having an opinion about somebody, just keep it to yourself if it's got nothing to do with self actualisation.  Let's stick to raising awareness rather than bashing our own internal representations of others. Thanks

[Mal]

Just now, Joe Schmoe said:

LOL@Mal

Thanks for the response. Now a mod will clearly see you're here to troll and nothing more. 

[Mal]

Just now, Joe Schmoe said:

@Mal I know you suck up to Charlie your Master.. I'm not here to entertain you like emerald does.. 

What has this got to do with self awareness? This is personal opinions on the characters here.  This kind of comments bring nothing to this forum.

Nothing wrong with it, bit this is not YouTube.

 

[Ayla]

27 minutes ago, Mal said:

What has this got to do with self awareness? This is personal opinions on the characters here.  This kind of comments bring nothing to this forum.

Nothing wrong with it, bit this is not YouTube.

 

Because this does? 

4 hours ago, charlie2dogs said:

this post shows your lack of maturity, maybe the consequences you create with your nonsense and time will help you and then again maybe nothing will.

Please remain focused on the topic and opinions being expressed, and do not engage in trolling the person behind it. Read forum guidelines. 

Thank you.