Do I Need A Boyfriend To Be Happy?

[Mary]

It's kinda very very embarrassing for me to write about this. So my father was a religious man. And although my mom wasn't, she also had lots of limiting beliefs about dating. So to make the story short, I'm 23 and I never had a boyfriend. I mean I didn't want one myself either up until a year ago either, but recently it has just become a very important issue to me. It's a hard time. And I'm thinking, I don't wanna end up alone.

Ever since I've watched Leo's recent video on happiness, I've been thinking about this. I mean I don't wanna end up alone, So, do I need a boyfriend to be happy? And I can't come up with any good answers. So I just wanted to ask this question from you guys. What do you think?

[Mal]

@Mary If it is important to you, then make an effort to meet somebody.  The right person for you will come along when you are ready.

Will a relationship make you happy?

No, they are a challenge!  The growth you will get from the relationship is the thing that will lead to happiness.

Worldly objects don't quite provide the 'promise' we project onto them.  This is how we've been taught to look at life, but it isn't quite true.  

As far as I can tell, happiness is a process of letting go if these expectations and becoming independent of external conditions.

Don't expect to embody the goal in two months, I'm sure that as long as we're on this planet there is always 'work' to do.

Otherwise, why would we even be here?

 

[Mary]

@Mal It's gonna sound funny to you, but I'm seriously afraid that I'll never get one! 

[SMI]

@Mary I know how it feels to grow up in an orthodox environment  but you will learn a lot by getting into relationship.If you are afraid of it then you must do it.

[charlie2dogs]

45 minutes ago, Mary said:

It's kinda very very embarrassing for me to write about this. So my father was a religious man. And although my mom wasn't, she also had lots of limiting beliefs about dating. So to make the story short, I'm 23 and I never had a boyfriend. I mean I didn't want one myself either up until a year ago either, but recently it has just become a very important issue to me. It's a hard time. And I'm thinking, I don't wanna end up alone.

Ever since I've watched Leo's recent video on happiness, I've been thinking about this. I mean I don't wanna end up alone, So, do I need a boyfriend to be happy? And I can't come up with any good answers. So I just wanted to ask this question from you guys. What do you think?

most humans are alone with a boy friend, husband, wife, girlfriend.   just because you get a man doesnt mean you will be happy, or not alone.  No more capable than most men are and especially younger men, most of the women they get involved with they hurt in one or many ways and the woman is left most often to raise the kids by themselves are remarry another man. If your reason for having a boy friend is to not be alone, then it will be a mistake,  you dont need a man to feel secure or happy, talk to the women who can be honest and tell you what they have been through with foolish and immature men and then decide if you want to be one of them,

Religion is a system of slavery, control, if you intend on having a career, i would focus on that, gain your independence, make a life for yourself, and put men on the back burner for now, at least until you are wise enough to see through men and know for sure what is lurking behind that mask, that is unless being a housewife with kids is your dream,

Mary i am a man, been there done it and know men better than they know themselves, this is coming from experience not just an opinion about men, and im sure most men wont like this but reality isnt always sweet.

[J. M. Wigglesworth]

@Mary

You don't need an 'anything' to be happy. Happiness is drawn from within. A good man can bolster this and is a worthwhile pursuit for other reasons as well, such as being a mirror for your own issues, enhancing femininity and offering company and support. That said, getting and having are not happiness but titillation. 

 

If you're truly looking for happiness, set aside time to deeply contemplate what having a core satisfaction with life is. Start unwiring the limiting beliefs that say you have to feel a certain way or have a certain thing. Happiness is really quite simple. All you have to do is answer yes to one question: "Will I create and interpret my reality so that I feel a deep, joyous satisfaction upwelling from me?" That's all you have to do, every day for the rest of your life if you want to be happy. Don't fall into these traps along the way- relationships, money, stimulation- they are cool but those are shitty side dishes to a main course.

 

[Pelin]

 @Mary my first ever relationship was at age 22. It wasn't love, I can see it now, I feel like it was a step for me to get to know the other sex and get to know what a relationship felt like. It did its job in that manner and we broke up 10 months after. Now I see that I kinda needed that relationship to learn from my mistakes. 

It also taught me that I shouldn't rely my happiness on someone else. After a year as a single, I empowered myself and changed my job, moved to another city and became self-reliant, then I met my husband. I knew it was the right time for me because I had found my inner happiness. I knew it was the right time because I didn't need it or expect anything from it. 

[egoeimai]

@Mary  of course you dont need ANYONEEEE to just be happy.

Happiness is within you.

[egoeimai]

1 hour ago, Pelin said:

 @Mary my first ever relationship was at age 22. It wasn't love, I can see it now, I feel like it was a step for me to get to know the other sex and get to know what a relationship felt like. It did its job in that manner and we broke up 10 months after. Now I see that I kinda needed that relationship to learn from my mistakes.

What the hell????this is my life. Except the age. I was 18.5 back then.

What theeeee f?? 

10months? Same here.

Not love???? Same here.

Unbelievable.

[Mary]

I don't know. I guess I'll just try and be more social.

@Pelin Thanks for sharing your experience:) Helped a lot

@Murtaza oh, tell me about it:)

[SMI]

@Mary Being raised in an environment like that subconsciously programs you to be indecisive. Not only dating and sexuality. Fear foreshadows most of your activities. And fear if not handled with logic and understanding will show up time after time. That is why " if you are afraid of it, then you must do it". Overcoming your fears is never a waste of time. 

[Christian]

If you come from the frame that getting a boyfriend will make you happy, then you will be very disappointed and regret the decision later. Because it will not bring you happiness at all.

If your goal is happiness, then you should change your strategic intent (your goal) and go work on meditation and enlightenment. That will give you TRUE happiness.

However, you can still want a boyfriend and get into a relationship. Nothing wrong with that. Just make sure it is for the right reasons...

 

 

[cloudpusher]

On 7/18/2016 at 5:54 PM, Mary said:

Ever since I've watched Leo's recent video on happiness, I've been thinking about this. I mean I don't wanna end up alone, So, do I need a boyfriend to be happy? 

I don't understand the point. You watched a video Leo saying that we don't need anything to be happy. Not even oxygen. And then your question is if you need a boyfriend to be happy?

I'm not critisizing, just trying to understand you. I know it is hard to believe that we don't need anything to be happy, but I found it a very relieving message and it resonates strongly with me. 

What makes you believe that you need a boyfriend to be happy?

[Evilwave Heddy]

No, you need ME. 

[egoeimai]

Rude and desperate