Sage in the Attic - A log for dedicated practitioners

[HiddenAway]

My aim is to encourage a dedicated practice movement on this forum and start a conversation with committed spiritual practitioners. Let's move beyond intellectualizing and start accumulating direct insights.

I plan to update this for as long as I feel it isn't interfering with my practice.

Log - Day 1

Current focus: Mastering the jhanas ( Concentration states ).

4 x 1 hour concentration sits ( Anapanasati )

2 x 1 hour walking meditation ( Observing sensations in the feet )

Intentional application of Metta & Gratitude throughout the day

Mindfulness outside of practice: B+

Summary:

- Mindfulness outside of practice is beginning to feel significantly more lucid.

- Many moments of sustained concentration during formal sittings.

- No sign of the 1st Jhana... yet.

- Limited social interaction

-  Monkey mind comes and goes. Tends to be worse during evening sittings.

- Feeling very indifferent to the mundane problems around me. Feeling real suffering more deeply.

- Small heart opening whilst listening to this song... Love has been very healing for me thus far.

Tomorrow

- Maintain high quality practice. 

- Keep chipping away at the monkey mind.

[Zigzag Idiot]

10 minutes ago, HiddenAway said:

My aim is to encourage a dedicated practice movement on this forum and start a conversation with committed spiritual practitioners. Let's move beyond intellectualizing and start accumulating direct insights

Howdy, @HiddenAway

Sage in the attic reminds me of the story of Chogum Trungpa sitting in the attic of some folks house ( I forgot who) in New York for several weeks just drinking one beer after another when he first came to the United States. I think the story was told by William Patrick Patterson in his book Eating the I. 

I share your interest in keeping monkey chatter low.

When the monkey mind gets out of control, I turn into an unguided Golum.

Welcome ?‍♂️

[HiddenAway]

Log - Day 2

Current focus: Mastering the jhanas ( Concentration states ).

4 x 1 hour concentration sits ( Mantra - with Mala " I am Loving Awareness" )

2 x 1 hour walking meditation ( Observing sensations of the feet with Mantra ^ )

15 minutes Metta & Gratitude Morning & Evening with music.

Tea ceremony ( Strong mindfulness )

Shamanic breath work

Mindfulness outside of practice: A

Summary:

- Self construct feels distant. As if it is submerged under water.

- Nature looks vibrant, colors are popping. The sky is a used canvas. A by-product of heightened awareness.

- Not much social interaction.

- Strong concentration.

- No jhana.

Tomorrow

- Fire Kasina practice

 

@Zigzag Idiot Perhaps he was on to something Do you currently have any daily practices?

[Raptorsin7]

@HiddenAway  have you had the god realization yet?

Have you done psychedelics?

[Zigzag Idiot]

4 hours ago, HiddenAway said:

 

@Zigzag Idiot Perhaps he was on to something Do you currently have any daily practices?

@HiddenAway   Despite his alcoholism he carried the Crazy Wisdom Lineage of Tibetan Buddhism to the west and founded Naropa University in Colorado. His book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism is a favorite of mine. He was certainly a controversial character.

My practice is pretty light. 20 minutes of Centering Prayer in the morning and another sit in the evening. 'Exercising the muscle of objectless or non-conceptual awareness,,,,,, Sometimes I call myself a rogue student of the Ridhwan School aka the Diamond Approach. Sometimes I'm just an Idiot.

[HiddenAway]

Log - Day 3

Current focus: Mastering the jhanas ( Concentration states ).

2 x 1 hour concentration sits ( Fire Kasina )

2 x 1 hour concentration sits ( Mantra with Mala )

1 x 1 hour walking meditation

2 x 1 hour 'Do nothing'

Mindfulness outside of practice: B

Summary:

- Slight depressive state arose in the afternoon. Witnessed and passed away swiftly.

- Lots of tension between the eye brows.

- 'Do nothing' felt much deeper than concentration practices. This tends to be the case when concentration is sharp.

- The current feeling is that I will do concentration practices when the mind is loud and Awareness practices when it is sharp ( E.G 'Do nothing' or Awareness on Awareness ). This takes away from my focus of mastering the jhanas, but it feels right so I will head in this direction for now.

Tomorrow

- More 'Do nothing' practice

- Mantra with Mala when the mind is loud.

 

@Raptorsin7 No God realization. Yes to psychedelics.

@modmyth The insights that all wisdom traditions point to. Yes this log will be oriented around practice and experience. There is a point where theorizing and intellectualizing starts to feel hollow. The mind goes in circles. Practice can also begin to feel like that, as it is just another story.

@Zigzag Idiot

Quote

Sometimes I'm just an Idiot.

I relate to this deeply

Edited March 25, 2020 by HiddenAway

[HiddenAway]

Log - Day 4

Current focus: Mastering the jhanas ( Concentration states ).

- Roughly 5 hours of a mixture of concentration, Do nothing & Awareness on Awareness

Mindfulness outside of practice: A

Summary:

- Nothing noteworthy today.

 

[HiddenAway]

 

Log - Day 5

- 3 hours self inquiry

- 30 minutes working with the heart

Mindfulness outside of practice: A

Summary

- Subject - object Gap is increasing noticeably.  

- Being feels expanded, I AM beyond the walls of body, I AM beyond the confines of this mind.

- The transience of sensory perception is highlighted.

- Felt through some self hatred existing within the heart. Lots of tears.

- Asked the heart what it wanted. It responded "let me live". More tears. So much of my effort have been to go beyond and escape this finite being. I have denied the heart some of life's greatest joys within the individual experience. 

- I have been doing self inquiry in my dreams for the last two nights. This has not been intentional, it occurred spontaneously. It feels much deeper and more potent from within the dream (subtle) state.