How the ego literally changes what we see?

[mandyjw]

One of the "memories" that stands out a lot from my awakening was how it changed how I literally saw people. There were a lot of visual changes, it felt like a scene in a movie when everything is flooded with this heavenly light. During this time I scrolled through my Facebook feed.  Every single face in every photo shone brilliantly with this light and I loved each and every face and saw perfection and beauty in it. Normally when I scroll through Facebook I see a lot of stupid things, a lot of ugly things... in other words it's a judgment/thinking fest. And it's unconscious. It happens in an instant, it's like a gut reaction. 

Yesterday I met someone who will be taking over for someone who handles some of my personal information. As soon as I saw her face I had this "Oh SHIT" reaction. In a split second I was concerned that she wasn't trustworthy, just because of how she looks. I hadn't even gone so far as to think about it, it was just a gut reaction, or feeling. My mind will try to explain its feelings later, and give logical reasons for it, but it's all bullshit. This is the root of prejudice and racism itself. It's a survival instinct, fear itself playing out and literally veiling how I see. Though I don't act on it, (consciously), and though I make a huge effort to see what I appreciate in everyone, I feel my my initial gut reaction shows the state of my heart. 

I want to see all faces with the same unconditional love and acceptance that I have for my kids, (when they are behaving). Not after a moment of talking myself into it, but instantly. 

Has anyone watched this reaction in themselves, worked with it, worked through it? I've been taught to trust my gut feelings, and not to ignore them but I feel like I passed off a lot of knee jerk judgments as "gut feelings" for most of my life. 

[SOUL]

In awakening quite often the clarity we view our own self with also exists with how we view others but it may not be as complete of a transformation immediately so it will be a benefit to your path to discern whether you are seeing others in the clarity of awakening or the veil of ego.

[mandyjw]

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-many-seconds-to-a-first-impression

In 1/10th of a second or less we judge a face for trustworthiness and then attraction, basically, survival concerns. 

 

[Consilience]

I feel this but it’s sorta paradoxical right? The act of wanting your baseline reactions to be a particular way is a denial and craving towards that which is not... aka more ego. I would focus on just accepting absolutely everything that is, even your racist egoic fear based reactions and judgements.. but accept them consciously. Accept their actuality, not their meaning. If you’re truly present and accepting of what is, all meaning is impossible anyways.

I know you know this, but the more one accepts, the more one opens themselves up to love aka truth. Ive struggled with this but more so with depression. Ive had to continually become conscious that my states of depression are still forms of love and thus reacting to them as if they’re “bad” is all one big ego game. Ironically, the more I accept, give gratitude and love these mental states, the more quickly they pass and are replaced with happier states lol. All forms of form are welcome... at least that’s what the universe is doing so “I seek” to embody this.

Even fear or depression can teach us about love... so... just observe, accept and love. That’s what’d id try to do  

[SOUL]

@mandyjw  Well, there's different ways in interpreting the nanosecond 'judgment' one could make.

There's the 'gut instinct' one where it comes from conditioning from our past experiences, it's subconscious but this doesn't necessarily make it an accurate assessment.

There's also the 'intuitive' one where it suggests a 'spiritual' aspect to it that transcends just the conditioning of the physical which includes psychology but again this doesn't necessarily make it an accurate assessment, either.

Of course, some may say there is an even more transcendent one where someone fully awakened would view it with genuine clarity but even still this conceptual belief doesn't necessarily make it an accurate assessment.

[mandyjw]

@Consilience Thank you. I've definitely experienced that also with depression and the pushing against, denial of. It's really interesting to compare the two. Depression seems slow to creep up and slow to go, this is such a instant thing and not one that makes me suffer in such a direct obvious way, but the more I consider it the more I realize that the time difference is an illusion, and it's a reflection of me and my state of presence and connection with myself. 

I believe in the power of intentions in addition to acceptance (after all which comes before and which comes after if is time is illusory?) and I intend to see through this layer of threat. Even if it KILLS me, (or feels like it) goddamn it.  

39 minutes ago, Consilience said:

All forms of form are welcome... at least that’s what the universe is doing so “I seek” to embody this.

Even fear or depression can teach us about love... so... just observe, accept and love. That’s what’d id try to do  

3 minutes ago, SOUL said:

Of course, some may say there is an even more transcendent one where someone fully awakened would view it with genuine clarity but even still this conceptual belief doesn't necessarily make it an accurate assessment.

That's a tricky one. It can be tricky when embodiment of an experience becomes a standard we hold ourselves to rather than an inspired vision of our true nature. So easy to pull new standards and new self concepts out of thin air. 

[VeganAwake]

13 hours ago, mandyjw said:

One of the "memories" that stands out a lot from my awakening was how it changed how I literally saw people. There were a lot of visual changes, it felt like a scene in a movie when everything is flooded with this heavenly light. During this time I scrolled through my Facebook feed.  Every single face in every photo shone brilliantly with this light and I loved each and every face and saw perfection and beauty in it. Normally when I scroll through Facebook I see a lot of stupid things, a lot of ugly things... in other words it's a judgment/thinking fest. And it's unconscious. It happens in an instant, it's like a gut reaction. 

Yesterday I met someone who will be taking over for someone who handles some of my personal information. As soon as I saw her face I had this "Oh SHIT" reaction. In a split second I was concerned that she wasn't trustworthy, just because of how she looks. I hadn't even gone so far as to think about it, it was just a gut reaction, or feeling. My mind will try to explain its feelings later, and give logical reasons for it, but it's all bullshit. This is the root of prejudice and racism itself. It's a survival instinct, fear itself playing out and literally veiling how I see. Though I don't act on it, (consciously), and though I make a huge effort to see what I appreciate in everyone, I feel my my initial gut reaction shows the state of my heart. 

I want to see all faces with the same unconditional love and acceptance that I have for my kids, (when they are behaving). Not after a moment of talking myself into it, but instantly. 

Has anyone watched this reaction in themselves, worked with it, worked through it? I've been taught to trust my gut feelings, and not to ignore them but I feel like I passed off a lot of knee jerk judgments as "gut feelings" for most of my life. 

When the mechanism that creates suffering and separation(ego) is understood, it's much easier to have compassion and understanding for people's behavior. 

To me that's literally what unconditional love means.

It doesn't mean you become a meditating pacifist, you still set your boundaries and hold your ground if someone's behaving inappropriately.

Unconditional love was something that improved in increments as the effects of Awakening became clearer and clearer.

The Paradox is you can really dislike someone's behavior and actions and simultaneously have a deep love respect and compassion for them. 

Like Leo says Awareness alone is Curative...

It's typically not something that happens quickly... do not beat yourself up over it ❤

 

 

[SOUL]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

It can be tricky when embodiment of an experience becomes a standard we hold ourselves to rather than an inspired vision of our true nature.

There definitely is a difference between a standard one has based on conceptual understanding which isn't a lived experience compared to the lived experience expression in awakening but even if it is the awakening experience it still is a perception and not necessarily an accurate assessment.

[Consilience]

4 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I believe in the power of intentions in addition to acceptance (after all which comes before and which comes after if is time is illusory?) and I intend to see through this layer of threat. Even if it KILLS me, (or feels like it) goddamn it.  

Such a great point... I dig it