Meditation after childhood trauma

[arvindbd1997]

I have had a very traumatic childhood with sexual, physical and emotional abuse. It has affected my mental state a lot and I find it difficult to practice meditation because of constant anxiety. I want to be able to meditate, but severe negative emotions and anxiety get in the way. Any advice on how I can meditate effectively while also having ptsd and severe childhood trauma. I’m not sure if it’s even possible and it really upsets me. 

[Gili Trawangan]

There is a very good video by Teal Swan on healing trauma. Simple meditation might not be effective enough...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA

Not sure if I posted the video on right. But do those exercises, they make a difference. Just my two cents...

[Marianitozz]

Meditation can help but your trauma is trapped in body in muscular level I recommand to reaserch bioenergetics are a great tool for spiritual and trauma healing. Check this guy channel have some exercises that will help you on your journey. Peace and love <3

 

[Amandine]

Check out the Crappy Childhood Fairy:

Are you able to do yoga (you mentioned elsewhere having a yoga teacher)?

Edited February 22, 2020 by Amandine

[Mongu9719]

@Amandine I can do ashtanga vinyasa yoga. It just requires body movements and breath coordination. The problem is that my mind is extremely traumatised from my childhood, and it’s impossible for me to sit down and meditate without my brain freaking out. Sometimes the anger just comes out and I start breaking things. It’s really frustrating because I know how much easier it would be without ptsd and all these supressed emotions.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Mongu9719

[Mongu9719]

@Gili Trawangan I became aware of Teal Swan recently. She had a pretty horrible childhood as well. I wasn’t aware of this video though, I’ll check it out.

[Esoteric]

@Mongu9719 Just throwing an idea out there.

There is a book called Tantric Kali by Daniel Odier. There are some visualisation techniques that are very violent in that book. Where you visualize your abusers slashed or whatever you like. There is no limit on how violent these visualisations can be. But it is also a visualisation of getting closer to forgiveness as your abusers were very likely abused themselves and there are were no other ways for them to find relief or a conscious way of dealing with their trauma, they just recycle what happened to them. As weird and fucked up as that may sound.

There is no shame in feeling angry. You have every right to feel that way and you shouldn't feel like you are supposed to supress those feelings. So maybe the techniques in that book are worth a try if "regular" meditation doesn't do anything good right now?