empty feeling in chest

[Patrick Lynam]

Recently Ive been going through what I feel is called emotional release where I have tears from beauty and it feels healing. have been experiencing this most days for the past week especially. And after this happened yesterday I felt a sense of loss once the bliss went away so i went for a walk and chanted om mani padme hum for a leat 30 minutes this calmed me down allot and then today at work i spent most of the day chanting this mantra in my head and realised it is quite good at dealing with my overactive mind.

This afternoon whilst masterbating it felt good in the groin area but my chest had what felt like a massive hole in it. I'm wandering if this something to do with guilt about pleasure or is this my higher-self telling me that I am objectifying and masterbating without the love/ joy component? I've heard Leo say "guys really need to get over this thing about sex being a bad thing" so I figured maybe this is my body bringing this to my attention so it can heal and I just need to feel it.  But could this be my intuition telling me to stop? I kept going before I was interrupted and had to stop.  

I have felt this feeling throughout my life for burst of maybe 10 or 20 seconds for as long as I can remember every month or so kind of just randomly, not just while masterbating. I know it used to be associated with the words "i want my mommy" in a very scared child voice. The words have stopped since I was an adolescent but the feeling has continued randomly for the small little bursts. 

Today I felt it for a long time like a full 2 or 3 minutes while masterbating because I wanted to see if it would move. It stopped once i stopped masterbating however.

Is feeling this feeling healing or is it me ignoring something or doing something wrong and my higher self or whatever is trying to get me to stop some behaviour?

[tsuki]

I don't know about you specifically @Patrick Lynam, but I noticed that I have bigger urges to masturbate when I'm lonely.
This hole in your chest and calling for mommy sound like an unfulfilled need for love. Porn is often a prosthesis for that just like TV is often a prosthesis for human companionship. 

I recently remembered that I learned to masturbate as a kid when I was waiting after school for my parents to get back home.
I'd investigate loneliness if I were you.

Edited January 20, 2020 by tsuki

[Emerald]

@Patrick Lynam Sexual energy can be experienced in any part of the body... the heart included. And with an open heart, it feels like bliss and love... usually directed to one's partner, as it is an expression of love instead of just pleasure. 

For men in general, there is a particular challenge because their sexual energy goes from the bottom up. So, it starts in the loins and then travels upward, where women's sexual energy begins in the head and travels downward.

But the loins have the most gravity. So, a woman's sexuality begins in her mind travels to the heart and then to the loins. For a man, his sexual energy has the opposite path... starting in the loins, traveling to the heart, and then to the head. So, the energy works against "gravity" to reach the heart and head. 

What it may be is that your sexual energy is trying to move to the heart, but that there is either too much density to your energy... so "gravity" brings it down. Or the sexual energy could be beginning to reach your heart, and the discomfort you feel is a symptom of the heart opening... and the experiencing residual traumas from past events.