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crimson_chess

Cycle of Depression and Consciousness

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Hey everyone, 

I've had this problem recently where I'm trying to raise my consciousness through meditation, yoga, life purpose, etc., but whenever I raise my consciousness just a little, I go unconscious again and get kinda depressed. I haven't yet had a "mystical experience" as Leo talks about, but I do know what it's like to be at different states of consciousness, especially from when I was younger. 

When I get states of higher consciousness I try to hang onto them because I'm always afraid I'll lose them -- when I inevitably do end up losing them I spiral back into a sort of depression where I don't know how to get back.. I often get angry at myself at this stage for wasting too much time on trying to attain higher consciousness and not being productive enough. 

I've also come to the realization that I can't "induce" or really "remember" these states of consciousness - I know that I've had them, but when I'm in low consciousness, I can't understand them, in a sense, even if I've been there before. That often leaves me unmotivated, especially when I haven't glimpsed the higher consciousness states for a long time I can start to tell myself that inner work isn't worth it, that I'm crazy for pursuing something like this in the first place. 

 

Is this circle of consciousness and depression really necessary? Maybe it's because when I experience these states, they're beautiful but simultaneously a little sad and melancholy. This is kind of contradictory to the last sentence, but I know I would be a lot happier if I could sustain these states of consciousness.

 

Is the key to just keep practicing and pushing forward? Or am I doing something wrong? 

Thanks

 

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You are not alone. 
I am at whis war right now between what I call "me" and "I". For example tonight I feel I am pure love. I love everything and everyone. I truly love you! But somehow it probably won't last. But I think it may gradually build and build until the other one is less and less until finally defeated. Don't know, but that is my only hope. :)

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3 hours ago, crimson_chess said:

Is this circle of consciousness and depression really necessary? Maybe it's because when I experience these states, they're beautiful but simultaneously a little sad and melancholy. This is kind of contradictory to the last sentence, but I know I would be a lot happier if I could sustain these states of consciousness.

Try not to think so much about the separation between those states. Would the world be as beautiful without the sad and melancholy flavor to it sometimes? Wouldn't you get sick of it quite quickly if you lived in a cartoon like world of wonder, rainbows and unicorns? You chose it all when you came to experience life. 

Intend to feel joy more. Look for it, even a tiny bit of it wherever you are. You can feel joy, and be in the flow and be very productive, and that IS a state of high consciousness. We do not want to split our energy, that's what feels bad, thinking we should be doing one thing over the other. There is no state that's better than the other, we want to be one with what we are doing or feeling. Paradoxically the way to the state that we want to be in is by accepting and loving the state we are in along and at the same time, accepting and allowing the desire to change it. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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