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Cepzeu

Any tips for making friends in a new city

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I'm moving to a new city next year where I don't know anyone. 

I've realised that healthy friendships are important to me for my psychological well-being. The last few years I've really focused on self-help and career, and I've lost a lot of friends because of that. I've also had a girlfriend which made me less inclined to go socialise because I'm quite introverted. 

I find myself feeling lonely frequently because I don't have close friends in my current city that I hang out with. I tend to discuss problems only with my gf, which creates a bit of an unhealthy dynamic.

If you:

a) were moving to a new city next year where you knew no-one, and

b) wanted to make a group of close friends who you would feel comfortable going to with issues/things to dicuss/get a second opinion on/ hang out etc. (as opposed to acquaintances who you know, but would not talk about deep stuff with)

what would be some thing that you would do?

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I've moved to new cities several times. Like you, I am also an introvert. I am naturally drawn towards deep discussion. I had great success with meetup.com. I go to philosophy and politics related meetups. I have also attended zen centers, done crossfit, taken art classes, and hung out in coffee shops. If I had to do it all over again I would probably do volunteer work as it's a great bonding experience with others. I would probably also start my own meetup based around topics that interest me. In any case, get out there as much as you can. If you go out 4 or 5 times a week to be around people you should have a strong social circle in about one year's time. Lastly, be patient. Don't expect to make friends right away. The more anxious you are the more you'll push people away. Good luck

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I did this once, not out of choice. 

I was going through a lot at the time but made friends with someone from work. Who then introduced me to his few friends. They weren't great association but they were good people. 

I had planned to go to poetry meet-ups but was too anxious. 

I think that is your best bet though, like Ivory said. Use your hobbies to find new compatriots. Use the internet to find spiritual meetups in your new area, and other creative hobbies you have. 

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