Daffcio

Feeling dumb because it's difficult for me to learn how to drive.

7 posts in this topic

Hi,

I've been doing my driving license for a while, I drove nearly 30 hours but I it's still difficult for me to learn it. Every time I have to go to my driving instructor  I feel anxiety and stress. I do not understand how cars work at all but I already spent money on course and I would like to get driving license. I feel that I'm too stupid because I learn too slow. I can not park at all and I'm quite stressed while I'm driving. I feel that I'm handicapped because I can not learn how to drive.

Is there any way to make driving more fun or less stress for me?

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I had the same problem. Felt stressed at every driving lesson and seriously doubted my abilities. I think I needed like 60 hours til I got my driver's license. So, compared to me, you're still doing well :)

Meditation can help with stress and anxiety but I suppose you already know that. 

People are not equally talented at everything. Just because you're having difficulties learning to drive doesn't mean you're stupid. It might just mean that you need more time than the average person. That's ok! Don't beat yourself up for it. See it as a growth opportunity. This is a great exercise in mindfulness and managing your emotions. See your driving lessons as a mental workout. If you keep working on it deliberately you will succeed eventually.

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Driving is naturally stressful, especially with so many cars on the road now and all the traffic...

But you’ve gotta keep your cool and be patient, it takes a few months before you get the proper feel for driving.

Being able to drive means freedom! That should make you get more excited about it!

Do breathing exercises while you are driving, that might help you to calm down. Or do breathing exercises before you even step in the car.

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@Nichts @RawJudah Thanks guys for that! 

 

 

9 minutes ago, Nichts said:

People are not equally talented at everything. Just because you're having difficulties learning to drive doesn't mean you're stupid. It might just mean that you need more time than the average person. That's ok! Don't beat yourself up for it. See it as a growth opportunity.

It's weird because I know that but I think I just needed someone to tell me that, thanks.

 

 

5 minutes ago, RawJudah said:

 

 

Being able to drive means freedom! That should make you get more excited about it!

 

I will try to, it really means freedom when I think about it.

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I guarantee once you get some solid driving experience under your belt, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years it will feel like second nature. The difficult part then will then be keeping your attention on the road because your mind just wants to go on auto pilot, lol. 


"Started from the bottom and I just realized I'm still there since the money and the fame is an illusion" -Drake doing self-inquiry

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It might help you calm down if you can objectify the learning process. Learning a motor skill is simple, the process unfolds like this...

Unconscious(1) -> Conscious -> Unconscious(2).

When you don't know how to do something at all, the skill is unconscious(1). In order to learn the skill, you must consciously act out the process. After enough repetition, the skill will automate and the process becomes unconscious again.


Most people give up when learning something because they don't anticipate how challenging it is to consciously act something out based on instructions. This difficulty can create the illusion that you will never be able to learn the skill. Often leading to people quitting during the conscious phase of learning, thus never making it to the point of unconscious(2), where the skill becomes second nature.


By knowing this in advance, you can anticipate the challenge and set expectations appropriately. The lower your expectations are the less negative emotion you will experience. Giving you more time and patience to make it to the unconscious(2) phase.


When you try something new, you inevitably embody the fool archetype. If you can learn to accept and even love the role of the fool, you will go far in life. Most people never start because they fear failure. Which is unfortunate because failure is an inescapable part of growth.

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Probably talk about it with someone whom you trust and who knows how to drive. That'll do it.

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