Seclude yourself from cheap ppl? I followed that path and regret

[Tiny Nietzsche]

Before I started to up this post, It has been happening for awhile (for months) and I sensed it coming (for years)
You all may have heard a kinda word like 'Get yourself away from cheap/unsuccessful/doomer
or you will become one' yeah.. 
.
.

I have my 7 high school friends (all are close friend, They are nice)..
As the time goes by, Growing up, College Graduation, Having more responsibilities & things (I'm 24)
I feel those homies doesn't quite speak the same language or be like-minded anymore
When we grouped up, 6 out of 7 keep gossiping about others, about sex, nonsense joke (Too much of it) and so on 
When I tried to raise a topic about philosophy, arts, ideas, investment ... They don't get into it at all, Besides, Even
some of them put a negative on me.. They party every week, Fews of them (Who have a special closeness to each other, around 2-3 person)
party twice a week
.
.
5 of 7 are addicted to cigarette, some of them even a drunkard - alcoholic 
Some of them got retired from college, Some of them took 6 years for bachaelor 
Some of them went back and forth, started doing something, 6 months later, quit. and start anew, quit again 
2 of 7 have a dead end job, some even unemployed 
.
.
Around 10 months ago, I decided to seclude myself from them, Things get better, I met like-minded people
I had a time more to myself, I don't do vice like smoking & drinking habit, and 6 of 7 get fat, not in shape at all 
(One of them started lifting with me together, 3 years went by, They did 3 quits, I did 220lbs bench press for reps)
My goal of life is getting clearer (IDK, Maybe they have it too), and seemingly, I have better financial stability..
At this point, I'm gradually losing connection about them, They don't call me to hang out anymore 
.

.
Now, The problem is, I feel something is missing, Maybe the foundation of homosapien, our biomechanics -- a relationship..
Every time I notice their feed on facebook or twitter, Hanging out there happily, and perhaps already forgot about me..
No matter I do, Even the hobby I like, It doesn't scratch the itch, It's kinda empty, I want to laugh mindlessly with them and such 
like good old days, Memories.. (Reminder: Overall, They are nice, Not a asshole at all).
You know, In adult society, We can't find a friend like high school friend anymore..
and yeah.. I ran after successful, Something I though It was right.. It turned out I lose my friends..

Edited September 7, 2019 by Tiny Nietzsche

[Tiny Nietzsche]

Anyway, Even I jump now in the middle of them, There will surely be a invisible wall among me and my friends..
Sure I'm thankful for getting out and gained my good things in life, I don't want to be like them, Yeah.. but I have to admit this feeling of loneliness is real

[Yonkon]

I'm in the same boat as you, but i have a more optimistic outlook. It hurt like a bitch when i went out the door to do some hiking in the woods and see my friends playing football without you in the distance. But here is the deal: First of all lose the limiting belief that you can't built new better relationships. Of course you can! But you have to invest, you have to give, to really get those awesome friends you want. It takes time to build strong relationships.

Also you have to see it in the long run: Where will you be when you keep going in 20 years, and where would you be when you stayed there where your friends at? Really look at both scenarios and feel the contrast. It is worth the struggle!

[undeather]

Nobody in here will diagnose you correctly. 
There are at least 10 explanations I can think of that can cause the situation you are currently experiencing. 

All you need to know is that the problem is not friends but you. 
If you really are a high value person, you will attract others into your life. Maybe the problem is value, maybe social skills, maybe lack of good people in your enviroment. The diagnosis is up to you. 

Take a hard look at yourself and your life. 
Dont judge your friends like you just did. Understand, accept & tolerate. 
Dont be a bitch.

Do something.

IF you ask me, you seem like a person who is quite unrelateable and difficult to bond with.
I dont know you though, so this could be completely bullshit! 

Thats everything you need to know. Everything else will confuse you.


 

 

Edited September 7, 2019 by undeather

[Jonac]

Happened to me aswell. I isolated my self because of the cimp behaviour of my old friends. But then you realize that you criticizing other people for chimp behaviour is mostly ego bs. Friends and people in general act like this all the time because self actualized is super hard, who wants pain anyway? Lol . Just go with the flow sometimes try not to be so anal about it, then, you gonna enjoy even more your time alone. 

[CreamCat]

You and your friends grew apart.