Kiamber Blake

Being in a Relationship with a Friend

10 posts in this topic

Hey guys, I wanted to get some advice on transitioning a friendship into a relationship.  We have known each other since high school through his older sister and mutual friends.  Although we have not talked that much during our high school years, we still kept in contact as friends to keep up on what we were doing with our lives.  About a year later (this year), I reconnected with him by hanging out in cafes, parks, etc.  Although we have been friends for some time, we have had sex a few times before, but I never made it go any further than that.  Although I like this guy, I always feared being in a relationship so I wouldn't be hurt let alone opening myself up to someone who wants to get involved in my life.

So my question is: Is it possible to be in a relationship with a friend?  Are there any benefits or drawbacks from transitioning your friendship into a relationship?  What are some tips that you would tell someone if they are considering changing their friendship into a relationship?

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Usually friends know each other well and a lot of times the transitioning from a friendship to a relationship might be smooth because the 'get to know the significant other' face has passed long ago. I have seen that people who start immediately as a couple really dont match up well personality-wise. So the fact that you are already friends makes the bonding process easier.

My advice would be to take it easy and don't rush to put him in your life but dont be scared to open to him and create something strong together. You just need to verify his intentions.

Practically, you could try spending more time together, finding a common hobby, going out together more often or even playing some truth or dare game where you get the chance to ask him some deeper questions about himself. I think the point is to know him better.

Edited by TheGreekSeeker

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@ThomasEastman do you have any evidence for that? Or are you projecting to me your own inability to establish meaningful friendships with the opposite sex?

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On 24/8/2019 at 1:37 AM, Kiamber Blake said:

Hey guys, I wanted to get some advice on transitioning a friendship into a relationship.  We have known each other since high school through his older sister and mutual friends.  Although we have not talked that much during our high school years, we still kept in contact as friends to keep up on what we were doing with our lives.  About a year later (this year), I reconnected with him by hanging out in cafes, parks, etc.  Although we have been friends for some time, we have had sex a few times before, but I never made it go any further than that.  Although I like this guy, I always feared being in a relationship so I wouldn't be hurt let alone opening myself up to someone who wants to get involved in my life.

So my question is: Is it possible to be in a relationship with a friend?  Are there any benefits or drawbacks from transitioning your friendship into a relationship?  What are some tips that you would tell someone if they are considering changing their friendship into a relationship?

Oh girl. Tough times right? 

...... 

Girl you need to find out what you really want from him. Don't play with his feelings or experimenting with your feelings on him. Figure that stuff out before action. 

Anyways, I'm not judging you or your acts, but having sex a few times may have complicated things a bit more. 

Now being friends with someone is easier to transition because you have intimacy already and you can read his personality easier and faster. Just do something that shows your love more than friendly. Or tell to him directly. If you do have that familiar relationship anything is accepted. 

Q&A yes ofc it is possible and you're going to do it. More benefits than drawbacks. 

Hello friend, boyfriend wanna be. Lol I'm kidding. So depending of your level of familiarity choose the words that you know make him more happy and less stressed, say to him that you love him so much as a friend but things evolved in you and that you now considering getting deeper with him and having a relationship with him. 

Saying it probably is not the tricky part, the afterwards is. 

What ever his answer is just be cool with it. You don't wanna lose a close friend because that happened. Stay cool accept any desire that he has. Relationships are about respect and love anyway so a good friend is better than no friend. 

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If you are close, then just admit to him your feelings. This is the best way. Most likely he wants a relationship if he spends time with you and he is interested in you.

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On 23/08/2019 at 7:37 PM, Kiamber Blake said:

Is it possible to be in a relationship with a friend? 

Yes. My wife is also my best friend.


unborn Truth

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On 8/28/2019 at 0:09 AM, ThomasEastman said:

Because friendship between man and woman does not exist.

Whenever someone says this I always think like what if they are both gay? Will they just not get along then? they won't have any attraction to each other so can't they be friends? What about two gay people of the same gender? can friendship exist then? It has to either between them or if not then between opposite genders. 

too absolutist

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@Cocolove  Actually I don't think his post was serious at all. If you look closely, he inserted a spam link in the quote, because he gets points for that or something. I think that was the whole point.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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On 31/08/2019 at 1:20 PM, ajasatya said:

Yes. My wife is also my best friend.

Good one

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On 23/08/2019 at 11:37 PM, Kiamber Blake said:

Is it possible to be in a relationship with a friend?  Are there any benefits or drawbacks from transitioning your friendship into a relationship?  What are some tips that you would tell someone if they are considering changing their friendship into a relationship?

Absolutely possible!  Happened the same way for me, we were friends for a long time and been dating for 9 years now. All the friend-zone bullshit on the internet makes people think that you have to bump into a random stranger and start dating. Not knowing the other person before getting into relationship is dangerous. 

A potential drawback is loss of a friend is if backfires but in most cases, you could still remain friends

Tips?: Try talking to her friends and finding out some information on her feelings towards you (without asking directly :D)  She may feel the same way about you but may be too shy to admit her feelings or is worried of losing friend. Spend a lot of time together, hang out as "friends" and you will start growing onto each other. At some point you will need to break the ice though. If you never try you will regret and worst case if she says "no" you will shake hands and promise to stay only friends. 

 

Edited by Michael569

“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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