managing career vs relationships: spending time

[electroBeam]

I have a situation which would be nice to get input on:

my career: I work a lot, because I'm doing something which has a real good chance of giving me financial freedom in 5 to 10 years time, and a job that I do love now, and will continue to love for the rest of my life. If I work less than I am, its very risky and could potentially knock me off this course. Its a startup.

my wife: I have a wife who is very emotionally mature, funny and fits my personality. But she is needy and requires a lot of attention and time. This is really the only challenge to dating her. 

my situation: I just dropped out of university (2nd year in) to work for a startup. Consequently I'm still living with my parents(but have enough money to move out, if I'm willing to take a risk).

 

Because I live with my parents, my wife does not have much personal time with me. This affects her emotionally. She 'wants to live a life with me, not my parents'. Also my workload is affecting her. Because I work on the weekends usually (and try to fit in dates as much as I can, but its not much) + I live with my parents (lack of privacy) + because my wife is emotionally needy, its hard to manage the entire situation. She has in the past cried over my lack of time spending with her. I have spoken to my startup founder about it, but he is of Asian descent, and asians have a very different concept to love than westerners, so there's a lack of wiggle movement there.

How do you emotionally support your wife in this case? I have failed a few times, she is not happy with the amount of emotional support given right now.

[Pallero]

Could you move out so that you would have more privacy with your wife?

Could you let your wife help you with your work temporarily so that you could spend more time together?

Could you explain to the startup founder that since you have a western wife, she expects different things than people in Asian culture, and that time together with her is also very important to you and makes you a more efficient worker?

[electroBeam]

Thanks for your input. I could look into the first one. 

6 hours ago, Pallero said:

Could you explain to the startup founder that since you have a western wife, she expects different things than people in Asian culture, and that time together with her is also very important to you and makes you a more efficient worker?

hahahahaha. Ooooo this is very hard for some Asian people. My cofounder is very understanding, but this is very sensitive cultural difference that's hard to manage. His wife doesn't live with him and hasn't for 3 years. In the Chinese culture they value hardship. Chinese people are very rational and don't understand emotion. He is about 10 years older than me and so I look up to him like a father(not intimately, maybe as a role model). Its hard to tell him I need to spend time with my wife without it seeming like I'm not ready to take the startup seriously or take responsibilities seriously. Because if I was Chinese that would 100% be the case. And it seems unfair that I'm allowed to spend time with my wife but he isn't (his wife isn't living with him because its necessary to keep the company alive at this point of time). Tricky.

[Shadowraix]

Moving out is probably your best compromise.

But your wife also needs to understand what you are doing is going to benefit you both in the long run.

Surely she knows of the long-term benefits instead of just constantly worrying on the short-term?

She could use the time you are busy to work on herself. Sounds like she's torturing herself in her own head. Dependency is something that needs to be managed carefully.