Confusion in the Dynamics of Authenticity

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Hey ya'll, I need a set of fresh eyes on this topic. No, I have not watched the How to Be Authentic video yet. I'm trying to contemplate here but I can't wrap my head around this confounding conclusion. Any advice? If we could keep the metaphysical explanations to a fundamental level I would appreciate it. I can't just zen-mode my way into understanding just yet.

Recently, when I reach a moment of deep emotional release the theme of authenticity keeps coming up through the anguish. I feel like a faker in many regards. I feel like I don’t know how to act based on truth, or siphon out my authentic self through the non-stop stream of consciousness.

What would I truly do in this situation? Where would I earnestly lead myself, professionally speaking? What would the real me say in this social situation?

How is one supposed to differentiate the bullshit from the true?

The argument of nature vs. nurture comes to mind here. The way people act socially seems to be taken directly from their environment and assimilated internally, only to be regurgitated when a particular social pattern calls for it.  How else would you know to say anything at all? The only reference point you have is what you have encountered before, right? This isn't authentic because it isn't pulling from an original source, correct?

Another foil in following this  “just be your[authentic]self” reasoning is that, what if my authentic desire is wholly unethical? What if I want to kiss that chick I just met without asking her? What if I want to gorge myself on doughnuts and bust a nut to pornography from dawn until dusk? What if I want to dropkick my friend in the face for publicly ridiculing me?

I don’t think acting on these impulses would do me any good in anything but the short term and it especially wouldn’t be good for the party opposite to me. But isn’t the antithesis of authenticity to suppress these desires? This is what I cannot wrap my head around.

Authenticity as most people including myself define it seems to be inherently unethical.

If my natural impulses are “authentic” because they are really what I would like to do, then most situations would end up with me hurting others and myself reaping benefit. Even the situations with me being selfless still have a tinge of self-service. I want to look good in this other person’s eyes so I can have an ally etc.


How can I be my authentic self without being unethical?



Thanks in advance.

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I struggle with this also because we always change if we are on a self-actualization can you know how to be authentic when every situation force you to act like you should you are not going to curse in church cant be a certen way all the time(i cant) so i came to conclusion that real you is behinde what you value,like withouth doubt(even though you dont know the reason) you stop lying to yourself about yourself and be spontanious(not thinking too much) thats all i got still cant figure out...

Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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You are very likely not entirely a massive unethical monster. You should start doing more often those positive authentic things which exist in you but add just a tip of conscious right thing and shove that stuff in reality.  Work with what you got, do the authentic good stuff that you can all the time. To add value to your inner self you will have to lose value in reality or outside. Those who claim them to be the same should be god but they have no idea what they say.

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Stephen Covey defined authenticity as acting in alignment with your principles/values.

If your values are unethical or immoral, they you have shitty values and need to change them.

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