Igor82

Life purpose or Enlightenment?

3 posts in this topic

A few days ago I tried snorting some 5-MeO, just a starting dose, 3mg then 3 more mg when I didn't feel the first dose (I didn't feel the second one either). Anything could happen you know, so about 3 hours before the dose, I got into the expectation that I would die and never come back, this was it, I would die (I did this for the sake of surrender). At one point I felt like I could throw myself of a bridge and that would be it, ofc there would be a lot of fear and maybe pain involved, "but who cares?" I was truly gonna die on that couch.

After snorting, life felt a bit meaningless, but the morning after that I had this wonderful playfulness spawn within me as I strongly felt in touch with the present moment while having a sense that it's all meaningless. I was still doing stuff, but I knew that I was gonna die soon, and I found deep enjoyment in that.

Im not at the point of being dependent on my life purpose, my mother is financially supporting me, but I am soon getting there. I feel like my life purpose is gonna kind of hinder my spiritual path. In the same way, I would never take 5-MeO if I would not be ready to die.

  • Is my life purpose gonna hinder my spiritual path (or vice versa), or will they really combo and create the deep satisfaction I felt that morning?
  • If this is possible, how can I approach my life purpose so that Im ready to die at any moment? 

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It awesome that you've started with 5-meo. It's rare that you can surrender yourself fully in face of death. You will have the most amazing discoveries with 5-meo in the future!

2 hours ago, Igor82 said:

After snorting, life felt a bit meaningless, but the morning after that I had this wonderful playfulness spawn within me as I strongly felt in touch with the present moment while having a sense that it's all meaningless.

 

I think you've stumbled on the key right there. Life doesn't have a universal meaning, and that means you create your own meaning. It is very liberating. No longer you are bound by survival, material success, culture, and society. By detaching from external meaning, you can objectively pursue your passion.

I think you can have both, the deep Spiritual time with 5-meo, and pursue life purpose. Alternatively, you can have a "spiritual cleansing" phase with 5-meo, while going back to Life Purpose later. But what I found is if you trip hardcore with 5-meo, you will need a lot of time for integration. Practically speaking, you might find yourself so loose and detached after deep trips, that performing actual work will be difficult. I guess it's about finding the sweet spot.

Unless you want to be a monk or a spiritual teacher, there is no reason to mix spirituality and life purpose. And even then, not every Enlighten person can be a spiritual teacher. It takes specific communication skills and personality type to be an effective teacher. You have to be a teacher at the forefront, and then if you become Enlightened, you can share wisdom effectively with others.

I think it's true that ultimately this reality is imaginary and all happens within consciousness. But while you are aware of yourself as a human being right now, you need to work on actually external value.


"Beyond fear, destiny awaits" - Dune

 

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Enlightenment is supposed to strip away all falsehood in the long term if you don't delude yourself and study the teachings properly.

So I don't see how could one be enlightened and not live his purpose.

In the other hand, you can easily think you got your life purpose in check, but since there is still a heavy ego that thinks it runs the show, it is far from being genuine.

So I would say you gotta do both, because your life won't feel very fulfilling if you don't have a plan to actualize and give your gift to the world,

And you will never know if you're bullshitting yourself if you don't deconstruct the neurotic sense of self that needs a goal to have meaning in his (fake) life.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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