Struggle to get friends

[Marinus]

@SageModeAustin

14 hours ago, SageModeAustin said:

 a big reason why you don't have good friends is because you're too picky.  

I think a good challenge for you would to be enjoy hanging out with someone who isn't an intellectual like you are.  You will actually learn more from these people.  

Learn to loosen up, have fun, don't be so one track minded with this actualization stuff  Keep that to yourself and enjoy the moment, you'll naturally find people who are into self actualization by easing your way into friendships, people don't open themselves like that so soon. 

The first sentence made me laugh, that's true.

Keeping it to myself is indeed much better. A year ago I tried to convert people into self-development by preaching about it., which ofcourse didn't work and soon people had expectations of me that I couldn't live up to.

I like to be in the moment when eating.

How did you changed the way you looked at this?

[Shin]

14 hours ago, Marinus said:

@SageModeAustin

The first sentence made me laugh, that's true.

Keeping it to myself is indeed much better. A year ago I tried to convert people into self-development by preaching about it., which ofcourse didn't work and soon people had expectations of me that I couldn't live up to.

I like to be in the moment when eating.

How did you changed the way you looked at this?

You will change the way you look at this when you will realize that no one can fulfill you.

When you understand that you can be friend with anyone really.

But you really don't need to have a friend that is "XYZ", it's just a lot more fun to engage with people who have the same interests as you, but not necessary (and not always true).

Edited October 16, 2018 by Shin

[SageModeAustin]

@Marinus By trying out new ways of approaching it, seeing what worked for me. 

[supremeyingyang]

@Marinus

I tell you what. I'm the same. One on One is my style of communication. The more people, the less clever is the conversation usually. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. There are Teams that are kind AND effective. But that is not normal. Most of the time it's more about who is who in the hierarchy and not about getting shit down.
It appears that I'm more sensitive or driven. If there are too many people I shut off for protection. The school was obviously not easy for me... I thought that I was the odd one. If someone had told me I could have trained to cope with that years ago... Because this was what I did later. I went in demanding social situations. Now I can tolerate it, but it drains my energy so I try to sneak around meetings (monthly work meetings are the worst).
This is what you should aim for: A little better every week.

Edited October 16, 2018 by supremeyingyang