Trust, Vulnerability and My Ego

[RaZor47]

I was very strongly inspired by Leos Spiral Dynamics Mini Series so much so that right now i am trying to move out from my very strong Orange mentality (stage Orange Dad (zero emotions basically) and stage Blue Mother (very fond of judging) ). One problem that i keep constantly faceing at the current moment is trust. I find it very difficult to trust or too relate to people. As of now i can only name one person that i can truly trust (my best friend, thank God there is at least one, if not i would probably go crazy). To me other people just seem to controllish (if that is a word) and manipulative and it makes if kinda difficult to relate. My parents fall into that same camp, still cant figure out how i lived with them all those years (right now i am 26 and i live alone for almost 2 years + also 6 years of university i didnt live with them, only occasionally visited). Basically what i am trying to say is that i am trying to be more emotional and more vulnerable and its kinda difficult because i dont feel like i can trust people.  Can someone  provide any help or guidance.  I think my ego need a shift of perspective or smtg

Edited September 29, 2018 by RaZor47

[NoSelfSelf]

Being vurnable is accepting that someone can missuse it but you do it anyway if vurnability was easy then everyone would be vurnable but vurnability is in many cases the strenght not the weakness

[YaNanNallari]

Sometimes these things need to be solved in different environments, or are at least a lot easier to. So see what you can do about this right now, maybe read more about it, or just look into other aspects of your life that want change also.

[dorg]

@RaZor47 I have found that if I cannot trust people, it is because I cannot trust myself, IOW I cannot trust that I am adequate in any situation.

This has improved as I realise that even the bad times are good, in that there is often a lesson in the bad time that results in a realisation. And this has lead to my mind state being more stable and not with the ups and downs that used to happen.

And the more stable mind state is able to trust more as it is learning that nothing can really 'throw it'.

 

[Mu_]

On 9/29/2018 at 3:53 PM, RaZor47 said:

I was very strongly inspired by Leos Spiral Dynamics Mini Series so much so that right now i am trying to move out from my very strong Orange mentality (stage Orange Dad (zero emotions basically) and stage Blue Mother (very fond of judging) ). One problem that i keep constantly faceing at the current moment is trust. I find it very difficult to trust or too relate to people. As of now i can only name one person that i can truly trust (my best friend, thank God there is at least one, if not i would probably go crazy). To me other people just seem to controllish (if that is a word) and manipulative and it makes if kinda difficult to relate. My parents fall into that same camp, still cant figure out how i lived with them all those years (right now i am 26 and i live alone for almost 2 years + also 6 years of university i didnt live with them, only occasionally visited). Basically what i am trying to say is that i am trying to be more emotional and more vulnerable and its kinda difficult because i dont feel like i can trust people.  Can someone  provide any help or guidance.  I think my ego need a shift of perspective or smtg

Let me ask you some silly questions that may help shed some light.  Why do you need to trust people and why do you care if you do or do not?  Could you not be yourself and let people be untrustworthy (wether its true of them or not) and judge you?  Think about it, it may be revealing....

Also meditation is shown to move you up the spiral if that what your interested in and can help one become more compassionate and empathetic.

Edited October 2, 2018 by Mu_

[RaZor47]

@dorg Yeah, there is definitely some truth to that. Will try to keep that in mind as much as possible. Thank you! 

[RaZor47]

@Mu_ Been meditating for almost 1,5 years right now. Definitely a good habit to have, will continue to go further.

As in regards to yours questions i would say that i dont know, as silly as that might sound. I have difficulties understanding my emotions. I will try to contemplate what you said, maybe smtg will come up for me. 

[Mu_]

On 10/2/2018 at 0:53 PM, RaZor47 said:

@Mu_ Been meditating for almost 1,5 years right now. Definitely a good habit to have, will continue to go further.

As in regards to yours questions i would say that i dont know, as silly as that might sound. I have difficulties understanding my emotions. I will try to contemplate what you said, maybe smtg will come up for me. 

Great, if you do find something, let me know, I have a follow up question if so.

[RaZor47]

@Mu_ So i have contemplated this a bit. And basically what i have derived at is that if i dont trust a person i believe that the entire interaction with him will be very controly, manipulativy, very tence, not authentic and try-hard (thats the way i can put it atleast). Whereas if i trust a person then that the entire interaction is fluid, fun, authentic, has flow, good vibes and chemistry. Second question i would answer that its very difficult to be yourself when others are untrustworthy. Its like i know i cant vibe with them, so that makes it kinda difficult to be myself for me. 

Edited October 6, 2018 by RaZor47