I feel very unhappy sometimes. Can anyone give any suggestions how to handle it?

[shapeshifter]

Hey everyone! I am new to this forum and I am from India. So the thing is about a year ago or less than that I think I came across Actualized.org and my life totally changed in this one year. I was so depressed that I was thinking about going to a psychologist. I was so down and was doing really bad in my studies. But after I watched Leo's videos,my outlook towards life totally changed and I tried to implement what Leo used to say in his videos and it benefitted me a lot and I started doing really good in my studies and went from a 6 GPA to 8.5 GPA in my semesters. I am so thankful to Leo. And I am still trying to implement the advice Leo gives in his videos and it's benefitting me a lot and I am improving drastically in every area of my life. But the thing is sometimes I feel really sad and the main reason behind that and behind my depression was that I am a lesbian and I like girls. So I came out to my family and they love and accept me which made me really happy to get their support and love because they mean a lot to me. Although people in my university are not that cool with it. They think this is wrong but I know deep down that loving someone is never wrong but they think that love should only be between a man and a woman. But I don't care what they think to be honest. But the thing is I am not being able to find friends who accept me for who I am or with whom I can share my feelings and there are LGBT groups in my city but when I went to the LGBT events there I also felt very uncomfortable there and didn't fit in and I also don't fit in in my university. I can't change this city because only 2 years are left for my graduation and after that only I can change the city. I don't know what to do and it's really hard sometimes and it feels lonely when nobody understands me or when I can't relate to anyone. And I also never had a girlfriend. Although I loved a girl but it didn't work out because I also attended a few classes with her but then she migrated to some place else. I feel very lonely sometimes and don't know what to do? What do you guys think what should I do?

[SelfHelpGuy]

When you're in a negative environment and you don't have much choice the best thing to do is increase you positive influences. 

Leo has a video on 'How to deal with difficulty and toxic people' which I've watched many times and it has literally changed my life. 

Also, can't you get Tinder? 

You can set it to just 'Women' and meet people that way. 

 

[Lucas Lousada]

there is an app named meetup

download and put what you like and where you live.

you will ALWAYS find someone with something in common.

2nd idea: go to places that YOU feel uncomfortable if you cant find any other place to go

(a club that play songs that you are not into, for example)

3rd best idea.

go to new places.. do you like beer, coffe, tea, cakes, ice cream..

walk around where you live and go to a place that you have never been before and stay some time there, analise who goes there, who works there, people behaviors.. etc

go find something new. like something you never ate before, etc

 

4th and thats a tip

I have struggled too many years lost in my mind because I did not have that "going out mood"

I like to stay home and do my shit alone..

Took me some years to realize that THIS IS OK TOO.. there is nothing wrong with that, you should not feel guilty if you like it too..

[Barbarian Number 8]

@shapeshifter  You should be patient for two years.

Then get your butt out of there and start living _your_life.

 

To keep you from being depressed out of your mind, you should keep it busy by planning a path for the rest of your life.

 

Btw, in your enviroment sexualorientations is a big thing. In my enviroment it is litterly nothing. Maybe something to think about when actually trying to sizing up a problem?....and planning for the future...location location...

[Key Elements]

@shapeshifter what did you like about Leo's earlier clips?

What qualities are you looking for in a friend? What exactly are the others saying to you that are not accepting? Why do you have to be open to others right away?

[shapeshifter]

On 5/13/2018 at 8:38 PM, Key Elements said:

@shapeshifter what did you like about Leo's earlier clips?

What qualities are you looking for in a friend? What exactly are the others saying to you that are not accepting? Why do you have to be open to others right away?

I liked the fact about Leo's videos is that he gave me an understanding about how to do self mastery and how I can do personal development. I have always been eager to do self development work but Leo gave me a direction and also the motivation to do it. I have been severely depressed as well but he showed me the path and got me out of depression. I was so hopeless in life but his videos really helped me with everything in my life. 

The most important quality I am looking in a friend is honesty and a bit of love and understanding. 

They make fun of me because they got to know I am gay and they dislike gay people because not only do they make fun of me but they also make fun of other gay and trans people. They also make fun of plus size people and also the teachers and professors and their values don't match with mine at all because I don't bully people because I respect and accept everyone no matter how they look and I don't gossip and the most prominent difference between me and them is that I don't gossip at all and I hate it when they gossip and badmouth about other people on their backs. 

I do not want to be open to people,it is that they are very nosy and dug out information about me by any means.

[Key Elements]

@shapeshifter I'm glad that Leo's earlier videos helped you out.

Yes, you don't have to tell them anything, no matter how much they question and try to dig. A person that asks too many personal questions and misunderstands who you are will only stay a stranger. The average person only assumes that a person is straight. The average person is very assuming and drops ppl in categories and expect that it's the truth. Anything outside to them is considered "weird." So, you know, we got to learn to ask them questions, like, "Hey, I saw someone who is 'gay.' What do you think of them?" Or, say it in such a way, and see how they react. If they react bad, you'll know to avoid them. Authentic friends are few in this world.

[shapeshifter]

Thank you to everyone above who gave such amazing suggestions,I would love to hear the views of more people on what should I do and stuff?

Edited May 21, 2018 by shapeshifter

[fairyhome]

Hello! I am also new to this forum. I’m sorry to hear what you’re experiencing! I am also a lesbian, I’m still in high school but I can relate to a lot with what you’ve said. I’ve dealt with similar sorts of people you’ve mentioned above, and it can feel really discouraging especially when you’re still in the process of healing yourself from internalized self-hate and depression. 

Right now, the best thing for you to do is to just try and get through it the best you can, which I think you’re doing a really good job at doing. Dealing with loneliness is really painful, but also confronting that loneliness has been one of the most spiritually gratifying experiences I’ve had so far. Loneliness is ineveitable, even if you find that perfect girlfriend or friend group. Working on creating a more forgiving and friendly relationship with yourself can help cope with those feelings. 

I’ve gone to a couple of LGBT teen support groups and I never really felt like I fit in there. I don’t really have much advice as I’m still figuring it out myself, but going to places that have your similar interests (it may be yoga, concerts, art musuems, nature, etc) and you will eventually find others on the same frequency as you.

It is okay to not limit yourself! :-) Keep telling yourself you attract kind, honest, unconditionally loving friends. You do not have to wait two years to tell yourself that. Your thoughts are a reality, and can create possibilities you previously limited yourself to. 

While you may not find other people on the LGBT+ spectrum, it can set the potential for you to find supporting friends.