Sincere apology.

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

Everyone:

A few weeks ago I made a run of some pretty scathing and barbed posts. No excuse. I was lonely on the path and looking for fellowship. Regular old monkey stuff, but here there's no excuse for things like hurting feelings or worse yet scaring off or discouraging younger folks from the most rewarding but challenging persuit within or outside of life itself. Mr. Gura said, "The horrid times are the best of times [for development]." but we must strive to prevent our defilements from leaking out and damaging others (whether you believe in such things as others/defilements or not).

What I'm learning is that honest irresponsibility is still irresponsible and it has kamma (if you believe there are such things as "actions" and such). If anything, the need for not only a few little insights, but also the notion that transformation is a valuable tier of growth has been reinforced. 

This forum has a nice bumper crop of "beginner's mind" and we all need more of that....especially myself.  Thank you and no need to accept any apology, but I can only hope it is witnessed. I just want to contribute...and share...and learn, and it is my dream that some day, i might point in some direction that could provide some much needed peace for a bunch of impermanent sensations. Here's hoping you all find relief from the pain of falsely perceiving duality.  ...or worse yet, oscillation.

-

[Joseph Maynor]

No worries.  We’ve all had our moments on here, haven’t we.   I can’t tell you how many times my Ego was bruised on here.  It kinda led me to figuring out what the Ego actually is.  One of the things that confuses everyone on the path is they’re not clear about what the Ego actually is.  They only have a vague sense.  It’s a process of discovery through self-observation.  You learn about the Ego by seeing it in yourself and observing it’s characteristics.  And often times you don’t even notice Ego until you’re surprised by it.  That’s when you gotta be observant.  Like when you act out on here — or any of us act out on here.  Stop and look and see the Ego in action.  That’s the way to study the Ego — through mindful awareness and observation.  Saying all of this was just a long-winded way of saying you can make lemonade out of lemons out of the times you get butthurt on here haha.  People that are woke rarely get butthurt.  I wanna get to that place.  You get there by letting go of Ego.

Edited March 8, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

I admit preferentially enjoying the posts from people who seem to be really doing the work, because as you know the work is lonely as fuck...by definition, and if it's not, that might be a very good feedback that you aren't in fact getting your seeing claspers any closer to grabbing the ass of the bull. 

Shit, a spontaneous contemplation occured right now that resulted in more Compassion toward Leo, and I'll out it before it drops from the mind: I've been wondering how he's avoiding the mind-fuck of the 2nd character he's created with the video "Heeey" guy. There's that cartoon, and then there's Leo Gura (or whatever his name is). It would be easy to get confused after a time. There's this BBC documentary about Hunter S. Thomson where he mentions that his story caracature Raool Duke is based on him, but it was (according to him) his base personality taken to gross/reductio ad absurdum proportions. I think Thomson is rolling a J and mixing a drink simultaneously while he's describing this in the documentary. Eventually he spills half the sack in the yard and starts almost crying. When he recovers he comments that everyone is so identified with Duke that they think Thomson IS Duke. Then he babbles a bit to the effect that he's not even sure anymore whether or not Duke should live and he should kill off Thomson or Vice Versa. This was a powerful pointing out. Most folks I talked to missed it. 

I know it's his hobby/job, but I don't know how you do it Leo. It's hard enough reading a bunch of books and keeping the mind pure for the work, let alone becoming a quasi celebrity and having to deal with *that* mental object. 

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

36 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

No worries.  We’ve all had our moments on here, haven’t we.   I can’t tell you how many times my Ego was bruised on here.  It kinda led me to figuring out what the Ego actually is.  One of the things that confuses everyone on the path is they’re not clear about what the Ego actually is.  They only have a vague sense.  It’s a process of discovery through self-observation.  You learn about the Ego by seeing it in yourself and observing it’s characteristics.  And often times you don’t even notice Ego until you’re surprised by it.  That’s when you gotta be observant.  Like when you act out on here — or any of us act out on here.  Stop and look and see the Ego in action.  That’s the way to study the Ego — through mindful awareness and observation.  Saying all of this was just a long-winded way of saying you can make lemonade out of lemons out of the times you get butthurt on here haha.  People that are woke rarely get butthurt.  I wanna get to that place.  You get there by letting go of Ego.

Good stuff.

Don't be shocked if, after some halmark change in perception/being that you plant a flag in and consider "Awakening", that every bit of the Ego is still there, it has just been seen for sure and forever that you are not it or its mischief. You can't be butthurt and hold that mental object of no-self simultaneously, but there is already a strong mental program to get "butthurt" which may not drop instantly. Depends on your particular shape.

Mine suffers from over-research/over self-education (sound familiar - sorry again Leo) which deepens loneliness and energizes existential fear of non-existance. This is a realization-stopper when grasped and is major. It's why my character gets long winded. It's very babbling is largely (or entirely) the painful insistance of delusive perpetuity. The reciprocate of which is the notion that if one shuts up, one doesn't exist, which on the Absolute scale, is true in either case any fucking way.  What's important is that this existential fear is infinitely subtle (fractals, remember) and is the very factor, I believe, or the primary culprit that creates "Eternity View", a notion that there's a God out there right now, separate from you, who will take you ego away to a heaven to live forever. (sidestepping the fact that your "ego" is just a transient sensation which never existed past present or future thus could never go to heaven or meet nonexistent "God") Thats some trappy shit.

Mindfullness will keep on seing the mischief of the ego, and the stronger programs will have to be worn through like old socks. But then maybe you'll attain suddenly to dropping into a fractal of pure non-duality while the body walks off into the sunset (highly unlikely I'd say). It's your path and your story, but sometimes you have to feed the bull's ass too! You gotta let a monkey do some monkey stuff, but I prefer to not let it fuck with other worlds.

Or you could make your world's rules be such that there can be literal saints, and you aren't Enlightened until you and everyone else apprehends your every sensation and action as resplindant perfection. Your work is cut out for you. Also, the fear of longwindedness that is trendy online in spiritual circles is just Laxity, Torpor, Laziness in intellectual form, yet one of the good old standard 5 meditational hindrances we've known about for years. Nay Millenia.

[Sevi]

@Sri Ramana Maharshi no worries, don't be hard on yourself. Wisdom cannot happen without faults and falling into traps. Sometimes even your wrong-doings can cause greater improvements on others, you don't know. When you realize those faults, just understand your main need behind it and feed it as best as you can. It's all about it basically.

Yeah, when someone becomes well-known by the society, that's kind of what happens; meaning there will be a 'caricaturization' so to speak of the real person, like a little summarization of their contribution. Not easy of course to carry it but the ones whose gonna understand them, will do so; the ones who cannot get it, will remain position no matter what.

[Nahm]

@Sri Ramana Maharshi There is endless love for you here.

[Charlotte]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Sri Ramana Maharshi There is endless love for you here.

+1 

[Nahm]

@Charlotte you too! ❤️

[Charlotte]

Just now, Nahm said:

@Charlotte you too! ❤️

And for you  ♥️

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

1 hour ago, Outer said:

What posts? It's no point in being toxic if you judge yourself to have been. But to be honest the little I scoured your posts, this apology is an over-exaggerated reaction.

Of course if you're emotional as hell like angry, bitter or resentful it might seem like very pointfull.

 

The apology was sincere, and at least useful for this VR setup here (body). I had bought into some emotional content and it slipped by mindful observation and out onto the keyboard where it could form into the shape of intellectual bullying and broad denigration, such as "This forum seems to be for young seekers who are mostly concerned with kicking the proverbial tires of realization, and working it into their lives, rather than actually realizing that it is all about ending said process. ...and I came across as a dick about it, due to 40+ years of sketchy socialization and arrogance hiding behind an honesty which was sometimes pure in content but tends to be used socialy more like a spiked shield.

But this isn't really much about the psychological domain. There is overlap, but what's important here is that this forum is useful for everyone in different ways. I respect that and appreciate the diverse fresh experiences of others that can be found here. A thought arose along the lines of, "Boy, it'd be a shame if I shit all over a place where there are plenty of cool people to test out and hear neat ideas from in real time. That simple.

Seeing the true nature of the personality can be shocking. I don't have to blab about this as those who know are still being shocked. Some folks really get a drive to transform and others just don't give a damn, because the personality is part of what you are being, not doing...and changing that activity is impossible until it isn't. Even then it can be tricky as hell.  There's a huge body of work there, hard work. If you want to hear a person talk about transformaton with real skill, I would suggest reading Ralston's Persuing Consciousness, as he has his communication game together.

Thanks for [all] your kind works most of all.

Namaste.

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Sri Ramana Maharshi There is endless love for you here.

You too!

That I know, and thank you for having to courage to embody and speak of it. May my heart explode into limitless abodings of Equanimity and also at times, Agape for yourself and all 'others'.

For real 100 points for Gryffindor. -100 for Slytherin. 

Edited March 8, 2018 by Sri Ramana Maharshi
grammar

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

6 hours ago, Sevi said:

@Sri Ramana Maharshi no worries, don't be hard on yourself. Wisdom cannot happen without faults and falling into traps. Sometimes even your wrong-doings can cause greater improvements on others, you don't know. When you realize those faults, just understand your main need behind it and feed it as best as you can. It's all about it basically.

Yes. For sure.

Some of the sensations which imply "needs" upon deeper investigation, reveal their utter emptiness. I find this *very* freeing and that goes the opposite direction of the delusive forces that lead to wanting to feed off of acting like an ass. Greed, Hatred, and Delusion don't arise until you first start imaginin'   

 

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

7 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

One of the things that confuses everyone on the path is they’re not clear about what the Ego actually is.  They only have a vague sense.  It’s a process of discovery through self-observation.  

Awesome.

But then on another level, try and point to anything at all and see if you are pointing to somthing that is not ego. In the practice here, it's simple. Two states - Either experience is in story (ego) or mindfulness (apprehending every single vibration of reality in the present moment). Some of the mentioned posts in the apology were penned while the mind was unconsciously driven by a delusive state, straight up. 

But the love never left, and it was kismet that this little dharma drama teased out some of the real Jedi here.

Sorry for all the rambling, for those who haven't the patience or reading comprehention (joke). Wait a minute...we're on Leo's forum here, the dude of 2.5 hour videos about the same stuff all the other videos are about....which could be said by some Rinpoche using a single Sanscrit word like Shunyata for example. Ok it's Infinity grounded in Nothing. What's the urgency, emergency? You're done, cooked!? Enjoy fresh veggies  -Namaste

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

2 hours ago, Charlotte said:

+1 

You too!