Vladimir

Spiritual Crisis Please Help!

30 posts in this topic

30 minutes ago, Vladimir said:

@Leo Gura How did you overcome fear of physical pain? 

I didn't overcome it. I just don't focus on it.

BTW, physical pain is a conceptual construct of the mind and can be deconstructed with sufficient mindfulness.

Fear is only something that comes up if you are actively thinking about the future.

If you are 100% present, there actually cannot be fear. There can be pain, but no fear. Fear is always a conceptualization of the future.

24 minutes ago, Vladimir said:

@Samuel Garcia @Leo Gura Were you able to do this without psychedelics? I've had multiple near-ego death experiences on Mushrooms, Ayahuasca and 5meo-DMT and the same themes keeps popping up which makes me resist - as my body starts to dissolve, there is a sense that in order for me to be reunited with God, I first must experience the most painful physical pain (because my ego/mind has constructed a story that without that, there can be no reality, and I have to be the one who does this). At the same time this occurs, I'm starting to have a very powerful emotional release, but I haven't been able to completely let go. I'm realizing this is ego creating this story because it doesn't want to let go, any suggestions on how I can deprogram this story from my mind?

You just need to practice surrendering more. Why are you expecting it to happens within a few tries? Just try more.

You can also deprogram stories by contemplating why they exist, what purpose are they serving? Apply consciousness to the issue. Why is this such a big deal for you? Really get to the bottom of it.

-------

You can also attempt to apply unconditional love to this problem. Love the fear and pain to death. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to take the leap of the faith and fully surrender to God's infinite intelligence. Don't try to use your little ego-mind to figure out the universe. It goes WAY beyond that. You must let the universe wash over you. To do that, you must accept whatever the cost may be.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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22 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

@Leo Gura

I took 5 - Meo -DMT and it started off well as I instantly became nothing and saw a lot of love. But then it went really bad as I started to see all this suffering in the world. It went over my head pretty much but I do remember towards the end I was experiencing rape and it was hell. I screamed '' I don't want to know the truth! I don't want to know the truth!''. It seems like I was just imagining things. But if I want to get enlightened, will I have to face this hell again?  If I am to face the hell I saw again, I would have to love it in order to successful. I don't know if I am willing to love evil.

It is quite well regarded that psychedelics can make shit up, but it's also known that it can unlock repressed trauma's that you weren't even aware of.

Leo did a good video about evil. Saying it's important to have a holistic view of the things of which you deem to be evil. Say for example rape, the person commiting this crime against another for the most part probably would have had a life that if you knew what happened to him you would feel some compassion. It's not something i can ride off to the sunset with but i am playing with this holistic perspective of the world. Kind of dependant origination in bhuddism, where the cause and effect are interrelated and interdependant on one another. You can't have the cause without the effect and vice versa. There's a lot to unpack but the whole gist is we don't really wan't to see the holistic perspective, as allan watts said we are dependant and as a result indebted to the evil person as their existence reflects well on us, they make us look good. It makes us look really good!

Edited by MisterMan

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@Vladimir said:

Quote

there is a sense that in order for me to be reunited with God, I first must experience the most painful physical pain (because my ego/mind has constructed a story that without that, there can be no reality, and I have to be the one who does this).

Yes, but ONLY because you believe you are someone located somewhere. Wherever you believe you are is where you are. You think this and believe it and that belief will need to be ripped off you, and dependent on how believed that belief is is related to how painful that will be. Is it any wonder that you are concerned about this.

Quote

At the same time this occurs, I'm starting to have a very powerful emotional release, but I haven't been able to completely let go. I'm realizing this is ego creating this story because it doesn't want to let go, any suggestions on how I can deprogram this story from my mind?

You do not have to let go, you just see that you are not actually on earth. You (awareness) are observing who-you-think-you-are in where-you-think-you-are. You have thought yourself into that earthly position, you are dreaming. Just see/observe (be aware of) this.

Edited by dorg

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Hello everyone,

I have just opened a new topic elsewhere, but this one seems really proper for me to piggy-back.

I recently took 5meo-DMT and was able to go through the gates and experience the state of oneness.

However that came with a price... I had to die first.

I fought the feeling of losing control and took me a while before I finally surrendered.

The thing is, after the experience passed some sort of channel got open as result and now I am able to relax to a point where a similar type of experience kicks in.

But because the experience was not only beautiful but also very traumatising, I usually get afraid and the sequence gets stopped before it truly starts.

However, there were a few times where I am able to ease it up at the beginning.

Then what happens is that I feel again that I am dying (not to be confused with a panic attack, which I sometimes have but on different occasions) and through fear I eventually break the sequence.

I am practicing not to get overly identified with anything in my life so I can surrender when I have such an experience but it's not working out.

I still carry a big fear and anxiety and getting to a place of no preference is still a bit of a pipe dream.

So my question is, how can I let go of fear (gradually or not) so I can start to experience the eternal without the use of any external substance?

I have read the brilliant responses on this topic so far, but maybe you could shed some more light into this issue.

I fell that there is no way back for me. All I want now is to be able to re-connect with that that lies beyond space and time and through it break the chains of suffering.

Thank you all so much for your input!

Paulo

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@Paulo Barbosa A) You must contemplate and investigate the precise nature of your fear. What are you fearing and WHY?

B) You must face the fear head-on at some point.

Psychedelics are great because they can gradually expose you to your greatest fears in a way that's very difficult to accomplish otherwise.

You can try small to medium doses of psychedelics for this. One trip is never enough. You must do repeated trips to overcome these deep, existential fears. Taking huge doses of psychedelics is not ideal. You want to gradually work you way through all your emotional baggage using small to medium doses. Then, AFTER you've done that, you can take a large breakthrough dose, and you will be ready to fully surrender.

This is a training process. You cannot bench press 400lbs on your first attempt. And there is no shortcut to benching 400lbs. You must gradually work your way up to it.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Leo Gura Thank you very much Leo.

The thing is, I have no easy access to psychedelics and in all honesty I am not sure that is the path I want to take going further.

You are probably right that to put your fears on the line through the use of psychedelics is a much easier process but something tells me that my path lies elsewhere. Or maybe that is just the fear talking and I am confusing it with my intuition.

The fact of the matter is that I have taken 12 mg of 5meo (twice in a row) out of despair with my previous life situation.

In that regard I came out of it with a fresh perspective and the depression is now a thing of the past.

However I feel stuck in my "progress" and I feel that fear is the gatekeeper.

If you, or somebody else knows of other methods or techniques to "overcome" fear please let me know.

I have yet to watch your most recent video about yoga and something tells me that I will find some answers there.

 

 

 

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@Vladimir I had an intense spiritual experience when just crying and screaming letting pain out and be heard as I felt into suffering as much as possible. That evening, I made a commitment to feel all my pain fully and didn't need any psychedelic. But the experience passed and my life was the same just like my other mushroom experiences. You could try feeling into you emotions but you may need to do so overtime. Check out Leo's video on Dealing with Negative Emotions.

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