Becoming a healer

[Diane]

@Natasha Thank you dear!!  Many many hugs to you too!! 

[Diane]

Where I am and where I'm going

I've been wanting to stop and reflect about this for a while. I finally kinda started the process last week, at the beach, while on holiday in Croatia. Answering directly to that question felt a bit too much at the moment so I chose to answer to the "21 most important questions of your life" by Darius Foroux (all but the ones about one's own business).

Here's the result: 

The to do list / take home messages I can take from those questions are:

1. Crossfit, Crossfit, Crossfit!!
2. Restart meditating, 10 minutes per day would be already a great achievement.
3. Sticking to doing the Five Minute Journal morning and evening every day.
4. 1 hour of studying every day.
5. To dedicate the whole Sunday to preparing the week.
6. Doing my best to gain time.
7. Being true to myself (telling the truth and being it).

So yeah, in spite of the mess (I have a huge list of things to do before the end of my holidays and there's also some work I left unfinished before leaving - a week and a half ago-...), I am going places. A family friend said that I'm going to be famous, but that's just her opinion.. 

I'm glad I have more clarity about where I'm going right now. In the midst of the craziness of this new beginning sometimes I felt very very lost. Now I "know" that I want to excel in my work and I want a loving and fulfilling love relationship and a great social life (friends who share the desire to grow and become more). All things I already knew somehow, I just needed a reminder. So, as always, thank you Universe!! 

[Diane]

I should be working but...

I'll take a few minutes to state some facts so that I hopefully won't forget them:

• I am VERY VERY lucky!!! I don't know if I'm the luckiest person on earth but I must be near that. I had some difficulties today managing a patient and I had a super rebound of impostor syndromeness.. But "luckily" everything worked out fine in the end and most of all there was one of my colleagues who were there to catch up with her work and helped me so much, she encouraged me and gave me a lot of of strenght with her words!!
• Life is a challenge but I'm given only challenges I am able to solve!!
• Worrying is totally unnecessary,as I once said: worry is a thief!! 

Edited August 1 by Diane

[Diane]

Leveling Up 

This title was inspired by Ciara's song "Level UP". It came out in a spotify playlist I was listening to a week or so ago and it couldn't be more on time and specific to my current situation!!

I've been working in Switzerland for three months now and I'm starting to get used to it: I do things quite on time, I take lunch and coffe breaks and manage to go back home at a reasonable time. I'll even have a wifi connection at home soon. Things are so good I can't believe it. So I panicked!  I didn't literally panic but I did start kinda self sabotaging with things like binge watching (I do have to acknowledge that I did learn something from watching the first and half of the second season of Suits.. It depicts very well the position I am in right now as a junior doctor, my work is actually important to make my senior's one better. I already knew it but repetita always iuvant..) and eating junk food.

Fortunately at the moment I am also listening to Psycho-cybernetics. Among other quotes this one really stroke me "New roles require new self images". To live the kind of life I want to live I need to change my identity and let go of the bagages that keep me where I am now. Thanks to that book I re-discovered the importance and the power of visualisation. In particular this morning I took the time to do these two guided visualisations:

In this one you basically meet yourself in five years and are asked to see exactly how he/she is. It was an incredible experience!! My five years from now self is a beautiful, smiling, calming and reassuring woman. She's dresses in a chic-ethnic way and plenty of ethic jewels (gold? Apparently I'll finally succumb to the charm of gold...). She also smells "chic-ethnic". She's confidently poised, and her smile.. Have I already mentioned it??  And, of course she speaks perfectly French, and is ultra competent il her work. She has an amazing husband and apparently a little girl growing up to be an amazing woman like herself. And I am that woman!!! 

This one simply broke me to tears.. The more I go on in this journey and the more I learn the importance of being humble and compassionate. Things like giving credit to an obese patient telling me that he/she wants to lose weight even if my first instinct would be to think that it's impossible watching his/her current situation. Now I see other people reflected in my life: I had many and many second chances and people believing in me even after I had done something wrong so why would I refuse that to the people around me??

 

Talking about leveling up, another video that came right on time was this one from Shan Boody:

This is what I learned from her:

• Step out of your estimate (be the 3000 dollars worth cup looking like a 3 dollars worth cup to a casual observer).
• Step in your essence: you are there because you belong there = be undeniable. Aka study study study and prepare prepare prepare in my case.

 

In short, as David Goggins says "Everything in life is a mind game!". So level up!! 

 

P.S. In the lyrics at a certain point she says "Thank God I never settled, This view is so much better".. I took this picture in amazement yesterday..

Not bad uh?!  Yeah, Sardinia was great too but stil.. 

[Diane]

I'm honored @Ero, thank you!!  Love your content too, great job!!

[Diane]

Loving myself

Two long weeks ago I accepted the weekly challenge on The Five Minute Journal asking me to write a love letter to myself. I was super excited to do it, I think it even was a weekend so I had all the time to do it. When I finally opened the document and started writing I was literally speechless, and not in a positive sense. I realized I actually didn't love myself and in general had no clue about what love is. Thankfully I remembered that Leo had actually done a video titled "What is love" so I went on to do my little research (aka realizing my life purpose - "to to plenty of research and public speaking to make people healthier through consciousness"- now that I notice..). I was so diligent that I took notes and went on watching other videos: What is love.pdf; How to transcend orange.pdf; How to love yourself.pdf

I did it over the past two weeks and finally today I felt ready to try again and here's the result: 

A love letter to myself.pdf

Short and concise but I like it (of course... ).

In this process I realized how attached I am to the image I have of myself and how it actually won't hurt me doing things "I would never do" or "that don't sound like me". And I am practicing it in the little things.. As little as, when I want a coffe at work, going at the cafeteria where I have to interact with a human being instead of buying the same thing at the vending machine. It's really the most stupid thing ever but still.. Becoming.. I love how in her book Michelle Obama at the end says that there actually is no end to this process. In Eddie Pinero's words, "you can always run a little bit faster". On the other hand it's also kind of an incitation to slack off.. "Yeah, I didn't make it today but I can do better tomorrow".. I'm so Orange... 

Edited August 31 by Diane

[Diane]

#LESSONLEARNED

 

Dear future (and past) me,

DON'T SLEEP WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE!!!

Just don't. 

It's a waste of time (and energies) and you end up overcompensating, which translates in just more waste of time and energies...

With love,

D.

 

Now the question is: why did I do it?

• For "fun". Maybe but it was mostly awkward than fun and I had already had more than one hint that it would have ended up like this...
• Because I do want to become a "sex Goddess". But I think even a sex Goddess needs some inspiration otherwise I'd be a sex worker (or better a sex volunteer as I wouldn't even ask for retribution).
• I think I'm not enough as I am for the person I want in my life. I want a great person in my life and I realize that someone like this would want a great person too. So, am I great enough?? Actually, why would I want someone that is so hard to get, for whom I would need to sleep with people I don't like just to have some more experience to show??
• I don't respect myself enough to have high standards for myself and following up on them..

 

So...

 

Dear Prince Charming,

thank you for loving me exactly as I am, flaws and virtues.

Thank you for letting me learn how to love you without expecting I should know already.

Can't wait to see you (again).

I love you to the moon and back.

Diane

 

Better.

 

There's another thing I "learned" about love this week: the importance of mirroring other people's love languages. My love language is Acts of Service so when I do something for another person I feel pretty accomplished in showing love to that person. Sooo wrong!! This week I forgot the birthday of a friend, on top of that I think her love language is giving and receiving gifts. I don't even know how to mend it... Then there is the case of my cousin.. A few weeks ago my mum and my little brother came to visit me and they bought some chocolate to give at home at my cousin and my other brother. It didn't even cross my mind to buy something too.. Then when my mum gave the chocolate to my cousin the first thing she thought was that it came from me..

Oh, Love, what a strange and fascinating thing you are!!

[Diane]

#firstworldproblems

I've just realized how shallow my worrying was. I won't be able to go to a mega party organised at work because I was convinced it would take place at work and I accepted to exchange a weekend shift with a colleague but it actually will take place somewhere else and I don't feel confident enough yet to be somewhere else when I'm on call. 

The funny thing is that for the first work party I was invited to when I was in Sardinia I refused to go because it made me anxious, now that I would basically be in my element I can't go and on top of that my people pleasing side makes me feel hyper bad as I don't want people to be sad for me when I'll tell them I won't be able to go..

 

Purification.

I had the blessing of watching this video today. At about min 33:00 he answers to the question "what is the purpose of your meditation practice?" saying: "Purification". And he makes an analogy I definitely can relate to talking about cleaning. I do spend a lot of time cleaning and tiding my little environment but I hadn't thought yet to the necessity of cleaning the mind too.. I guess this experience with the party at work will help me clean the mind from the attachment I have to other people's opinions. A cleansing that will also clear some space to "becoming more me", my "true self", the unique, independent and wonderful woman I want to become.. 

I know that to be successful in this society it is very important to have connections and a great reputation and going to this party I could get both. But will I die if I don't go?? More than that: WILL I DIE IF I DON'T ACHIEVE SUCCESS???

Interesting...

Also: even if I died of failure to achieve success would it be the end of the world? 

And even if the world ended because of my lack of success, would it be a "bad" thing? Maybe yes and maybe not, depending on who we ask the question to and what the alternative would be.

What a relief!! Nothing is soo important. I can go on and do things with stillness and peace of mind. If it turns out to be a success, great. If it turns out to be a failure the world won't stop turning. And even if it stops, it will probably be for the best. #lovingwhatis.

Happiness is loving what is (AKA the Truth...)

Talking of Truth, I now realize that this whole experience was also a great reminder of the third agreement, "don't make assumptions"..

As always, thank you Universe!! 

Edited September 15 by Diane

[Diane]

Note to Self

Fear is not the enemy. Waiting to stop feeling afraid is. - Marie Forleo

This morning I found myself being sort of anxious because I'm actually getting better and more proficient at work and rather that being happy, satisfied and proud of myself, I actually felt nervous.. Because it never stops, the day will come when I'll feel like an expert but it'll probably be the day before my retreat, if not my last day on earth. The good thing is that I also know there's nothing to be anxious nor fearful about, it's all a matter of putting one foot in front of the other.

[Natasha]

On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 4:55 PM, Diane said:

The good thing is that I also know there's nothing to be anxious nor fearful about, it's all a matter of putting one foot in front of the other.

Something I have been contemplating on lately and you put it in such a simple yet profound way. Thank you, Diane!

[Diane]

@Natasha Thank you!! Easier said than done but it's actually so..  

[Diane]

Painfully happy

Yes, I am!! 😊

So this week I had a little disagreement with my senior doctor. It felt like a gigantic injustice at the moment and I suffered a lot, it went as far as spending almost 30 minutes crying in the bathroom at work on Thursday. I was crying for the feeling of injustice but also for the fact of not being able to accept the situation as it was.

Now I recognize that he was mostly right but Thursday was a really really difficult day to finish. Yet I did finish it and when I woke up on Friday I was ridiculously happy!!

I don’t even know how to describe it but I think the whole situation is well explained by Mark Manson in The Art Of Not Giving a F*: “Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you are going to start crying at an inappropriate time.”

I definitely need to read that book; I’ve just watched and read some summaries until now. I like that quote because it’s exactly what I realized while getting back home on Thursday: the whole situation attacked my ego so that I could peel yet another layer, the “things should go exactly as I think they should just because I feel it’s right” one… Nope, things are meant to go as they go, the only thing I have power on is how I decide to react/respond to them. Thankfully, on Thursday, even if with some crying breaks, I made it to do everything I had to. A great success indeed, maybe that’s the reason I woke up so happy and energized the next day… Apparently “To be happy we need something to solve.”

Another gem from Mark Manson is this one: “The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience”. One would go as far as saying that the key to happiness is putting yourself in negative (or at least challenging) situations by choice. I guess it can also be a good recipe to finding the truth, or in my case at least some truths... It’s also a pretty purifying process. I can now accept things as they are more easily. And it does feel pretty good not having to have the world conform to my ideals for me to be at peace with it.

So again, thank you Universe!!

And while I’m at it, thank you also for:

• My Guardian Angel. It’s a worker at the bar at work. He’s very kind, we chatted a bit last Sunday and I told him I grew up from Italy among other things. Then this infamous Thursday, when I  went there for a real break, without even saying hello he said the word “Credo”, “I believe”. He doesn’t speak Italian and there was any context at all. I don’t know what he really meant because I didn’t stop to chat but still: in a dark day like that he reminded me to believe… In God maybe, but it really came out of nowhere. Fortunately it resonated anyway and I was able to finish that day without a public breakout while being also productive.
• I stayed at home today: I risked going to a fair but both of the people I had plans with canceled so I had time to do some chores and listen to audiobooks and videos.. And among those this one:

Just wonderful!! I actually had chills during the manifesting process she does at the end.. And I learnt to ask myself the question: “how can I be light?”. It’s a great attitude to have!!

• Alternatives: I finally did attend to the work party, I left pretty early but still, I went there and had a great time!! While being on call too (no patient died either…).
• This:

Yesterday I walked to one one of the two castles in my town (I can call it home now that I’ve found my new CrossFit box!! 😊). It was an amazing experience. I went there with the intention of “cleaning up my mind”. And that’s exactly what happened, I’d say even physically: it was sunny and windy and I physically felt as if the wind was sweeping away all the negative thoughts and feelings that had marked my week. And the sun was warm at just the right temperature to make the whole process feel as good as heaven. I’ve never had a professional massage but that was the sensation, Nature was gently but firmly working on me and I went back home a lot lighter.

Thank You!!!

Edited September 29 by Diane

[Diane]

I had an epiphany

So this afternoon I was  was all-in in depression mode (things like "everything is fine so why am  I so stressed and frightened?", "why can't I be perfect?" and similar) when I suddenly had this epiphany: I can't do everything!! I don't know why but it made me laugh and it was actually a relief as it means that there's no point in trying to be perfect, it's a game I just can't win. After that came this one: "but I can choose what to do". As often, common sense is not common practice. It really felt like a revelation to me: I CAN CHOOSE!! I get to set the priorities and choose what will be done and what will never be done, as simple as that!

[Diane]

It happened again!! 

Today I explained to a patient the difference between a normal MRI and an MRI with contrast, with my hands and common words, and he understood!! I simply adore explaining things to patients!!! The first time it happened I was still a student and I found myself explaining to a patient the concept of restrictive cardiomyopathy, always using my hands to create an image.. 

It's also a sign that I'm learning stuff, great!! 

About the last post I forgot a little detail about the freedom to choose: mindfulness. Choosing consciously, in every little thing I do. And it's not easy, at all. I'll get there though!!

[Diane]

Choices

Yesterday I had a little moment of doubt about the decision not to engage in casual sex anymore.. And it started a long series of whys.. Why do all that I do? Specifically for casual sex, why not? It can be quite funny and enjoyable.. What is actually right and wrong to do?

This morning I reviewed my notes on How to Align Your Actions with Your Goals by Jonathan Foust; Opportunity Overload (How to Evaluate Opportunities and Make Good Choices) by Brendon Buchard and How To Be A Strategic Motherfucker - The 7 Pillars Of Strategic Thinking from Leo.

Thankfully I have more clarity now: I do what I do to be the best version of myself. And the woman I want to become is ok with learning new tricks under the bed with someone meaningful also outside the bedroom and not acting on cravings with the first tinder/tinders available (yep, I coined a new meaning for this word: tinder, pl tinders = a person known on Tinder you'll probably see one time or at the most two times in your life. If you're lucky it will be fun but there're so much more fun and enjoyment to experience without him/her/them that you can't even begin to imagine it..).

So, in Jonathan Foust's words, I decided to cultivate a greater sense of happiness, instead of acting only to soothe my anxiety (at the moment I'm pretty nervous about some documents I have to produce to validate in Switzerland the two years of Internal Medicine residency I did in Italy.. So instead of studying the dossier a little more I distract myself with everything I can...). And if it takes giving up a few things here and there, so be it.

Here's your answer, dear past and future me in doubt: because I want to become the person I know I can be and at the same time obtain the reward of wholesome morality: freedom from remorse, joy, rupture, tranquility, happiness, concentration, vision and knowledge according to reality, turning away and detachment and vision and knowledge regarding deliverance.

The most incredible thing is that my last name actually means "salvation". I always though I had to "save" the world yet I'm the one I'm here to save.

Thank you Universe for this whole new sense of consciousness!!! 

Edited October 23 by Diane

[Diane]

Expansion

I'm learning to expand my vision of myself and the world and it's very fascinating every time I notice it.

There are multiple examples:

A friend of mine who suffers from depression acting in a totally illogical way. She says one thing and then does the exact opposite. I realized all I can do is love her as she is and let consciousness do its work.

In my process towards becoming more conscious regarding the relationships I entertain with other people I started writing to more people just to say hello, without any agenda. It felt awkward at first, as if "not being me" but again, if it's the best thing I can do it totally is -and should be- me!!

Yesterday I went to dinner with a group of my ex colleagues in Sardinia and I flirted the whole night with one of them, it was almost embarrassing for the others to see I think.. Yet it ended up in nothing, I didn't make any real move and he neither.. Or so I interpreted it at the moment.. Today I had the illumination that I had the right to go get what I wanted, or at least actually check if he was really into me. Which I think he was, I think he was let down by the fact that I didn't respond to when he hugged me, I hadn't the courage to. #lessonlearned number 1024: the best things in life need to be grabbed with courage!! What was I so afraid of?? Being too emotionally exposed, loosing control.. I remember that was the exact answer I gave to another friend one time when he asked me what was the thing I was most afraid of… I shall do The Work on that one… The good thing is that during the night I had a little moment of self awareness when he pointed out that I was easily distracted when he was talking to me and never finished listening to him, something also my ex fiancé used to complain about.. So I made the effort to listen to him very closely until he had nothing more to say for a while, it really was an effort for me but it was a nice lesson. What I realized in general from this whole intense flirting is how I tend to treat badly the people I love and whose love I'm certain. I teased him all the night, I was funny but not loving. Fortunately it was just a little situation yet I did the same with the one who was once my best friend.. I owe her a lot of my growth and experiences during university yet after graduating, when I moved to Sardinia I didn't make any particular effort to continue nurturing our relationship and it ended up in me forgetting her birthday this year. It's on September the second and I saw it on social media the day after and texted her. I thought I had at least subtly apologized yet a month and a half later I realized I hadn't. She wrote me on my birthday three days ago and I finally womaned up and apologized. I really was shocked from noticing that when I found out that in the message I had wrote her I hadn't even tried to say sorry. --> #lessonlearned number 1025: remember to show love to the people you love, don't take them for granted.

There are many other situations but the point is always this sense of expansion. I'm so one with the Universe that I'm continually expanding too!!

Here's the One Belief Worksheet about loosing control.

One belief worksheet - Loosing control.pdf

Edited October 26 by Diane

[Diane]

Consciousness is everything

It is the answer, the way, and even the destination.

This afternoon I stumble upon Teal Swan's video on Attraction and took some notes too. As they were very related, I also watched the one on Incompatibility and the one on How to be authentic.

It all started with the attraction I felt towards my colleague and Thursday's night outrageous flirting. I kept wondering: why did I refrain myself? I already had found the fear of being vulnerable as a possible culprit and Teal Swan's video came to confirm and expand on it.

The question now is: what part of me do I need to re-integrate and love based on this attraction? The first answer that comes to my mind is this: the one that still believes that I am not worthy of being loved by someone like him (he could have easily been a Calvin Klein model...) and that being vulnerable is  too painful to even be considered as a possibility.

So:

Dear part of me living in that kind of reality,

it's okay to be afraid.

Just remember that you are beautiful and deserving of the most beautiful things (and people!!) in the world and you are much stronger than you think you are (did you forget you're a Crossfitter?!). Not even shame can defeat you!!

I love to the moon and back.

D.

The deep desire behind all this is a desire for unconditional love and authenticity and they both emerge from the process of awakening, consciousness and awareness of the self.

I also loved how Teal said that "being authentic" doesn't necessarily mean telling what we think in every situation, it's just about being conscious of our inautenticity when it happens.. Being authentic to the point of acting on my physical and emotional wants the other night would have translated in actually making out right in front of the others in the group..  Yet that's not what I really want for myself.. What I want is to "engage in sexual relations in a context of true love and deep long term commitment, made known to my family and friends". All this while "taking care of my sexual energy in appropriate ways and cultivating loving kindness, joy, compassion and inclusiveness".

[Diane]

Hard work, worth and progress

This week I began working in a new ward at the Clinic I'm working at. Saying it was challenging is almost euphemistic, but I managed to do almost everything. I kept wondering what "working hard" really means and if I could say I was and am working hard. Because I know I could do more and also could have done more in the past. So what can be described as working hard enough? Two weeks ago I spent a few days in Sardinia, the official excuse being that I had to do some papers to move forward the validation in Switzerland of the two years on Internal Medicine I did in Italy. It ended up being mostly a few day of vacation to see friends and go out a bit. So instead of doing that I could have stayed home and study a bit or go on with work.

A sort of answer came from the incredible Ali Abdaal quoting Derek Sivers: Never forget why you're really doing what you're doing. Are you helping people? Are they happy? Are you happy? Are you profitable? Isn't that enough??

So: I do what I do (in my work) to make people healthier through consciousness. I am helping people and I'm sometimes astonished at how little it takes sometimes (things like closing a window or just being there.. Nothing I learned in medical school but God if it changed the situation and made the patient healthier in the large sense comprising of "happier"...). I am happy and profitable too.

Yet the question remains: should I just work/study more? Like abandon everything else and just work and study because I so much need to get better in my work.

It's obvious that there is a way to find a balance but as always it takes some discipline... Things like: how did I end up spending four hours on online shopping today? Yes, there will be an event for which I'll need a formal dress on December 8th but... Yet again it's all about consciousness. I'm now conscious it wasn't as urgent as I decided to view it: even if I'll be on call next weekend and the one after I'll probably go back to Sardinia there still was the last weekend of November to do some shopping and I could also have worn something I already have here in case...

So right now, things being as they are, should I go for a run or go on with some work? I'll do a 7 minutes workout and then work.

Talking about work, there's a line that fascinated me listening to Mastery from Robert Greene: "The goal of an apprenticeship is not money, good position, a title or a diploma but rather the transformation of your mind and character, the first transformation on your way to Mastery."

Transformation of mind and character. That's exactly what's happening. After this first six months in Switzerland and after this week in particular, I can see how I am more:

• courageous ( for example if I have to make a call to a consultant or for anything that makes me anxious I just do it instead of worrying and procrastinating);
• loving to myself. I also recover sooner from the little relapses of anxiety (I am more practical in a sense, I don't dwell on anxiety or how people could judge me);
• compassionate towards other people, I know we're all in the same boat so as I make mistakes sometimes so they sometimes and the only thing to to is to find a solution, being angry or similar is useless and counter-productive;
• wise. It's not something I relate so much to the work experience but rather to the experiences I had in general in the last six months. For example yesterday I went to a party and drank some alcool just because someone opened a bottle of sparkling wine I wanted to taste, not because I needed it to be more relaxed or enjoy the night. The only regret I have about last night is not talking to a guy who was just perfect, like perfection chez perfection.. The excuse I gave was that there will be other occasions to meet someone.. Yes, maybe.. But at the same time the only time I can actually experience is the present so next time I'll remember to take advantage of the present!!
• surrendering to reality, or Truth if I may.. I goes back to being courageous too.. I am more able to accept things (and people) as they are and deal with them without wishing they were otherwise. "Truth is consciousness. Truth is what I am. The cost of seeking the truth is my Self"...

[Diane]

Dear me,

you're great, go on!!

I've just found out that in this thread I've never used the word "procrastination". The last time I used it was on February 6th, 2018 on the other journal I had.. Wow!! 

The background of all of it is that in the last two weeks albeit doing the "urgent" things I did procrastinate on the rest.. I let the four horsemen of procrastination take the lead.. This evening I finally did one of the things I had procrastinated on and it took three minutes!!! Incredible!!

The "you're great" comes from the fact that I actually realized that yes I'm not as perfect as I would like but I'm pretty competent in my work and in the end I do what needs to be done, even if at the moment most of the times I have very acute bouts of Impostor Sindrome...

The back-background of looking for a word in my journal is that a few days ago I wanted to help a friend looking for anxiety so I looked for it here.. And that is a pretty frequent one on this journal though...

Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that even if part of me still feels the need to be a certain way and would do anything possible to stop me from changing, growing and becoming more, I actually have all that I need to become it and it is almost inevitable!! 

Good things can happen, I can have a great life AND I can be competent and efficient in my work - EVEN IF I've nerver worked in French, in a réhabilitation clinic etc!!

As Marie Forleo beautifully said it, maybe it's time to update how I see myself...

And as for magic the wonderful Shan Boody came out with this amazing proposition on how to answer the question "so, what do you do for a living?"

So: I am a junior doctor that aspires to become a world-class healer, kinda like Beyonce meets Deepak Chopra.

And that's when I realized I've always had this ideal of becoming "a Deepak Chopra" but I've actually never read anything from him, and neither did I follow him on socials... Really, I've even quoted him on my vision board but I can't say I really know what he does and teaches. At least I now know I don't... 

*I've just (re)found out we were born on the same day of the year btw!!! 

Ok, I can go back to work now. 

 

Thank you Universe once again for all this consciousness coming my way!!!

Edited November 17 by Diane

[Diane]

I did study yesterday though.. 

I know I could so much more but for some reasons I don't. 

Today I watched Leo's video Life Unfolds In Chapters & Phases.

Right now I'm in a limbo-start phase.. The more I go on with the job I'm in right now and the more my ignorance gets exposed, to others but also to myself. So yeah, in most cases I do the right thing anyway but there's so many things I've got to review..

The good thing is that this weekend I actualized my life purpose almost by the letter. "To do plenty of research and public speaking to make people healthier through consciousness". I finally got back on studying.

Yesterday I studied all day long and it was amazing!! The Universe had my back once again as I didn't receive any texts demanding for long or complicated answers so I wasn't distracted. 

Today I went on doing some papers for the validation of the years I did in Italy.

I had many more things on my list and I didn't finish neither that one...

In summary the vision is clear, it's just the execution that needs improvement...

I want to be prepared for things.

Enough complaining then, Black Panther mode on.