To Leo; Questions On The Video " Fake Growth Vs Real Growth..."

[Hengame]

I am sorry but I want to be honest I do not like people pleaser they do not have their own believe they are follower. And no trust on this kind of people. They change their mind in a minute because they want to please people. Sorry I am that I am direct but I mean general speaking .

[Hengame]

Leo' last video was great. It talked exactly about my biggest fake in my life, at that time I thought I achieve my goal! But like Leo explained it was a fake. After watching video I got the point which was late but good for future. Leo's video shows the truth.

[Irina Irina]

@Hengame we don't like ourselves either for being people pleasers. We hate it. But it's compulsive. Yes, we are followers. We don't have our own belief system. Not grounded internally. It's creating deep suffering, that's why we need change. Radical. That's why is hard. We have to create ourselves from 0 and release what we are now. Imagine if you would have to let go of all that you are now and what you believe about yourself now, how does this sound? Easy? 

[kalter000]

@Irina Irina Yeah... It's very deep level change, you are rediscovering yourself from scratch, trying to recognise your forgotten values and boundaries. I remember being sooo confused at the start, it was like 2 years of intense white noise in my head. I don't even remember who I was back then- obscure cocktail of sorrow, guilt and shame. But from new foundation I became sooo "me", much more stronger, that shit was worth it. 

[Irina Irina]

@kalter000 how did you do it? 

[kalter000]

@Irina Irina When it's all started I've realised, that I was a product of conditioning. I was really unaware who the fuck am I and what do I want, I couldn't exert my will, cause "my" was missing. It's since that big moment of raising self-awareness things started to change, so I would recommend to put close attention towards what you don't like in yourself, what feels inauthentic.

Hard to say, what exactly needs to be done, I was observing my behavior, noticing what I liked to feel and what not, reading books to broad my perspective,I've found role models, borrowed mannerisms from people I liked (mutated them to fit my particular style)- everything I could call self-discovery. I wasn't forcing myself to do it, it looked like natural progression. I hit hard on psychology, what started as a tool from killing myself became my passion, did a lot of shadow/ consciousness work to find roots of my neurosis, fears etc. It is a long process, I've spent six years since then, but I was really bad. 

The most profound changes came from subtle epiphanies expanding my consciousness. I wasn't deliberately doing spiritual work, but on my journey I've come to small realisations of my being and world around me- those were serious paradigm shifts.

People aren't lying, when call it The Journey.

[Po Faced]

Wow! I actually cried after watching this video. I always thought I was positive, confident, trying to improve my brain etc... But this video made me realise how fake my life is. Too scared to move house, too scared to leave my job, too scared to start a new business, way too scared to date! It made me realise that reading loads of self-help books is just procrastination. 

Thanks Leo for a big old slap across my lazy egotistical a*se! Time to open up and start again methinks ??

[Irina Irina]

This book The six pillars of self esteem - is so great for people pleasers. I've just started reading it, and it's so to the point. I've been reading books about people pleasing and codependency, but It comes down to self-esteem and self respect. 

[RafalA]

Social Anxiety ? No one cares about you. Do you care about other people ? People can judge them, laugh, critisize you and so what ? These thing can't KILL you, only your stupid EGO. It's an illusion,  There are no negatives, there are no positives in reality. There are only facts. 

  There is no illusion greater than fear. Who can see throug all fear will always be safe - Lao Tzu

Edited March 1, 2016 by RafalA

[Hengame]

@Irina Irina it will be very difficult. But you know for this journey I am beginner and with these  baby steps I feel very confidence and happy inside. I know I have long way in front of me as Leo said in his video I wanna real growth even it is really difficult but with following Leo's videos and reading books and reminding myself on my weak points and keeping his words in my mind hope little by little but deeply I will grow really. And thanks for your tips.

[Time Traveler]

IMO, journey always start by seeking achievements and only later when one understands that achievements are not solutions to their deep problems he starts seeking inner change.

Tell anyone who are struggling financially that if he wins big in lottery eventually he will end in big shit, deeper than he is in now. He won't believe you.

Only after many external achievements people are able to believe that they need to change from inside.

[Christian]

I asked Leo two questions regarding the video called "real vs fake growth". And the questions were: In order to gain real growth, do you have to change your self image? And in order to really grow, do you have to become aware of the core reasons why you do what you do? And he answered "BOTH".

he fact that he said both obviously means that both disciplines leads to real growth, but how do you do both practically?

You have to become aware of your own tendencies and reasons. To do this, you need awareness and you can gain that through meditation/self inquiry work. This work needs to become a habit and you should only instill one habit at a time - otherwise, you will likely fail due to lack of will power and resistance - have been there 

 

Also, it is important to change your self image. To do this, you have to have an objective in mind of who you want to become in one area of your life and visualize yourself acting and being that person in the present. DO this every day for 30 minutes straight for 60-90 days and the "new" self will be imprinted into the powerful unconscious mind of yours.

 

Hope this helped.