Relationship sex issue

[Paan]

Ive noticed an issue I have in my relationship with my GF. We have regular sex and no issues at all, BUT ive noticed that every time she is asking about sex i get really turned off. I get really stiff and anxious and I dont know why, i told her about it but she doesnt buy it. She thinks it is because I dont find her attractive but I really do. 

Ive contemplated this and I dont know why it got this way, we have been togheter for more than 3 years and it has actually been like this the whole time when I look back.

Can it been something about me needing to controle the situation?

[Spiral]

She asks you for say verbally? That's not very sexy. Showing is better then asking. 

[Paan]

@Spiral Yes CORRECT! Im with you, it feels so mechanical by asking. I want some passion in it so to speak  But still, I would get the same reaction.

[Privet]

Probably she just doesn't get it. What if you explain her better? Give her some examples. Make sure you don't blame her for that. Woman hate when they don't know what you expect from them and blame.

Edited December 20, 2017 by Privet

[Paan]

@Privet Yes Ive explained as good as I can. But its hard when I dont even now why I react like that.

[Angelo John Gage]

@Paan Because it is not 'genuine' to you; it's not spontaneous or in the moment. Tell you her like to be surprised. Tell her you want things to just happen naturally and build up to it.

Tell her that her forcing this mechanical way is like asking someone if they want a surprise birthday party; it ruins the surprise. That should be a good analogy. 

So basically say "I love having sex with you, but I will love it more when you surprise me with it rather than just telling me its coming.

I think this is an issue on her end being uncomfortable expressing her female sexuality.  

Edited December 20, 2017 by Angelo John Gage

[Spiral]

She could just walk up to you(really close) and whisper in ear: "I want you... now" in a sexy voice. Would work for me if she was my gf.

Or just cuddle with me until I get horny or just unzipping my pants also works.

Edited December 20, 2017 by Spiral

[Paan]

@Angelo John Gage Yes, it might be so. I will try that. thank you for replying to my topic!

[Angelo John Gage]

@Paan Np. I've dealt with this same situation.

[Paan]

@Angelo John Gage How did she take it when you talked to her about it?

[Angelo John Gage]

@Paan She fixed it

[Paan]

@Angelo John Gage Ill talk to her about it. Maybe she reacts different, maybe she gets angry. It can be that she is not in touch with her femininity and herself and instead of seeing the truth she get mad or depressed because of it.

No matter what we have to fix this situation.

[pluto]

Ultimately, Genuine Communication is Key but you must also take note you feeling that way shows some undisciplined traits of self which is not a bad thing as progress can be made because If you were truly comfortable in your own skin you wouldn't feel any of those traits to begin with.

Expectations, Attachments and Ego-driven attitudes need to leave in order for Relationships to thrive.

Now remove the word fix because nothings actually broken to begin with and replace with the word heal

All the best

 

[Paan]

@pluto thank you  Kind words!