Felt Like I Was Experiencing Everything For The First Time

[haai14]

I had this experience before 2 months where i got outside and look at the building and was like wtf buildings exist, then i looked at a man and was like wtf people exist and everything was so strange and new. I felt like i was a being from another dimension first time experiencing human life. When i crossed the road i would laugh at a fact that i need to wait for green light and that is how it works here. Then it was a cool feeling but i'm still feeling out of this world and i'm not grounded. I get now this hits of anxiety and fear and by not being grounded i go in some deep depressing places. I was just wondering if this was a spiritual awakening and now my ego is dying and i'm experiencing all this negative emotion. Anyone had similar experience.

[Nahm]

@haai14 It does sound like an awakening, but not the anxiety & fear. That’s pretty heavy monkey mind. Meditating enough? 

[haai14]

@Nahm ye, for like 6 montsh 20 mins a day. Even if i dont think and i surrender completly im still feeling depressed anxious and fear.

[Nahm]

@haai14 what is the subject matter of the ill perspective?

[haai14]

@Nahm could you explain i dont understand.

Edited November 12, 2017 by haai14

[Nahm]

@haai14 what are you thinking about? what are you andious and depressed about? sort through it and it disappears. im hoping you real-ize the breakthrough you're having.  suffering is self imposed. let's figure out what you're doing that causes the suffering. 

[haai14]

@Nahm

Frist time when it hit me i tried to understand it but with that depressing emotion i just went deeper into depression, my thoughts are like im egoic im doing this bad... And  when i exit it i see that that is not true and that thing that i thought about are completly normal and dont have that depressing emotion. And now when it hits me i surrender completly, i meditate thru it and have very little thoughts but i still feel overwelmed. Everything feels so bad and depressing. Maybe there is something that im not accepting to my self but its not in my awarness. Maybe i just need more time to process it.

[Torkys]

Yes, I had a similar experience, but it was an obvious partial ego death. I felt like I was in everything around me. 

"my thoughts are like im egoic im doing this bad..." 

Looks like you take PD way too seriously and you never had an existential crisis or it/they was/were too weak. Just answer this: Why not be egotistical?

Even if the thought is untrue, if it still effects you, you judge it on some level. 

[WelcometoReality]

@haai14 look at this thread.