I Am Too Awake?

[Stevo]

Love it, Onacloudynight!  Your experience is similar to my last one.  

I felt like I wanted to die or be dissolved into nothingness.  I realized it was impossible.  Even if I died and my body turned to slime or ash, I survive and get to be a part of MANY "things."  I get to be bigger.  Still, a part of me missed the point from which I originated.  I called this "the whole."

I don't compulsively enjoy music or podcasts anymore.  I was a real addict.  It is wonderful to have some peace from the nonstop assault of those things.  Could you have been obsessed with the security of your car, women?  Were video games and TV an addiction? 

Be simple.  Be quiet.  Turn lots of things off.  Seek silence.  LSD changed me.  Mushrooms tried to convey these things to me but weren't able to persuade me to change.  They did break my addiction to sugar, though!

I thought the same thing about my car!  Feels good to have less potential for devastation!

The answer I got during the trip is to enjoy the bleakness/bliss and preserve it by spending some time in meditation and then contrast it by embracing all the life I possibly can.  Sexuality, social interaction, humor, adventure.  

Edited December 19, 2017 by Stevo
typo

[Stevo]

On 11/1/2017 at 3:57 PM, onacloudynight said:

Probably. I think I just need to slow down. People are starting to see me as crazy.

It is a good thing that people are starting to see you as crazy!  Someone once said something along the lines of if you are actualizing, you will see your life unravel.  

[Joseph Maynor]

I went through months of that stage.  Your emotions, passions, interests will come back to you.  What you need to realize is the the Ego has been blasted into a thousand pieces.  The pieces will come back together for you, and when they do, you’ll be more aligned with your Authentic-Self which is the Higher-Self.  What you need to do now is Life Purpose work to make sure that when the Ego settles back in, the Mind is not trying to force it back into old bad habits, which is what it will try to do.  So, you should start doing Leo’s Life Purpose Course right away to get on track with making sure your Authentic-Self seats right when the Ego starts to coalesce again for you.