Bad Vibe Mother Making It Difficult For Me To Smile

[CuteCornDog]

I don't understand why I feel this way.

She's not doing anything remotely annoying.

When I'm around her, and everything LOOKS fine, I get this way.

Edited September 3, 2017 by CuteCornDog

[HII]

Sounds exactly like the situation that I'm in.

Can you maybe describe a bit more about what you perceive her to be like in general and how you feel being around her?

[CuteCornDog]

@HII Unintentionally caused me stress.

[HII]

Are you afraid of describing more?

[CuteCornDog]

52 minutes ago, HII said:

Are you afraid of describing more?

No. Why would I be?

The truth is that my mother feeds me the most, and my eating habits are hurtful.

That's why she causes me the most stress.

 

My body needs to be completely still when I need eat. No being jumpy.

Honestly, she gives me the necessary privacy THESE DAYS, but she didn't when I was younger.

Up until today, I ate food like I'm a little kid because she pretty much bullied me to death.

For real she finally moved on, and found something better to do than focus on me when I eat.

Edited September 4, 2017 by CuteCornDog

[SFRL]

Move out when you are 18/when you can. 

[How to be wise]

11 hours ago, CuteCornDog said:

No. Why would I be?

The truth is that my mother feeds me the most, and my eating habits are hurtful.

That's why she causes me the most stress.

 

My body needs to be completely still when I need eat. No being jumpy.

Honestly, she gives me the necessary privacy THESE DAYS, but she didn't when I was younger.

Up until today, I ate food like I'm a little kid because she pretty much bullied me to death.

For real she finally moved on, and found something better to do than focus on me when I eat.

All of the stress you have comes from the thoughts you have about your mother, and not about your mother herself.

I invite you to write down everything you hate about your mother, and to ask yourself whether each one is actually literally true (and by that I mean your either seeing it or hearing it). You'll be surprised at how much of the problems that you thought came from your mother is actually coming from your thoughts.

By the way, any meanings you have of a situation is mind-created, so is not actually happening. For example, if your mother calls you stupid, the truth is she didn't actually call you 'stupid' (brainless)! If you actually meditate on it, youll notice that what actually happened is that she made the sound 'stupid', and that's it! The rest is your mind projecting beliefs and meanings about how she called you brainless and so on. 

Recall every situation where your mother made you feel uncomfortable, and strip all meanings and thoughts off the situation. After a while of doing that, you'll notice that there's nothing your mother can do to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Good luck ?

[CuteCornDog]

On 9/4/2017 at 3:48 PM, How to be wise said:

All of the stress you have comes from the thoughts you have about your mother, and not about your mother herself.

I invite you to write down everything you hate about your mother, and to ask yourself whether each one is actually literally true (and by that I mean your either seeing it or hearing it). You'll be surprised at how much of the problems that you thought came from your mother is actually coming from your thoughts.

By the way, any meanings you have of a situation is mind-created, so is not actually happening. For example, if your mother calls you stupid, the truth is she didn't actually call you 'stupid' (brainless)! If you actually meditate on it, youll notice that what actually happened is that she made the sound 'stupid', and that's it! The rest is your mind projecting beliefs and meanings about how she called you brainless and so on. 

Recall every situation where your mother made you feel uncomfortable, and strip all meanings and thoughts off the situation. After a while of doing that, you'll notice that there's nothing your mother can do to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Good luck ?

You want to know what the problem is? My crazy mother has nothing better to do than to judge her children.

She won't let me do anything because she's too busy spoiling my older brother who can't hold a job.

This thread is simply me sharing my emotions with the world.

[CuteCornDog]

4 minutes ago, Mad Max said:

Sounds like a typical scapegoat child to me. Your brother is a narcissist golden child, groomed and pampered by the family, and your mother the narcissist that raised you both.

The feeding and the bullying is an act of enmeshment; it's a way of sabotaging you (perpetuating the dynamic she had with her own parents, who most likely sabotaged her), using you as an outlet for her narcissistic rage, as well as a source of narcissistic supply.

It's only normal that you would feel a sense of dread around someone who can potentially violate your boundaries at any time, even if they're not doing anything in that moment. Narcissists are notoriously unstable/unpredictable. You never know when they'll attack you next.

Thanks for understanding.