#leopleasehelp Loneliness

[Hardik jain]

I agree that loneliness is the best - when I tried to be lonely I become super DEPRESSED(negative thoughts) and super ANXIOUS(Over thinking - over analysing the stupidest stuff) plus damn I got a terrible headache too.

I didn't go and meet my friends for 4 days and those days were like hell. Today I went and met them and I felt super good and happy. What do I do?

[Erlend K]

You get anxiety, depression and a headache from spending 4 days by yourself? Wow, that socks. Have you always been like that?

Maybe you are just naturally extremly extroverted and get mentaly and emotionaly drained by being alone the same way an extreme introvert would get from spending 4 straight days with a group of people. If you feel super good and happy being with your friends, why not keep hanging out with them? Why would you want lonelyness? 

[Hardik jain]

@Erlend K because solitude is better than hanging out with friends Leo said.

 

[Erlend K]

Well, before you replace an aspect of you lifestyle that makes you happy with one that makes you anxious and depressed you should probably have a stronger reason than "some stranger online said this is 'better'.."

[Alii]

1 hour ago, Hardik jain said:

 when I tried to be lonely I become super DEPRESSED(negative thoughts) and super ANXIOUS(Over thinking - over analysing the stupidest stuff) plus damn I got a terrible headache too.

Sounds like you're addicted to the social life.

Face that emptiness you've been avoiding all your life and man up. No one can help you other than yourself. 

[Erlend K]

I think that telling people that loneliness is "better" than hanging out with friends is a horrible and reckless advice. If people takes that seriously, it's a recipe for unhappiness. Many great philosophers (including Aristotle, Epicurus, The Buddha, William James etc.) have counted friendship as one of the most valuable things in life. And pretty much all modern psychologists agree that quality time with loved ones is one of the main factors of living a happy, fulfilling life.

Temporary loneliness in order to focus 100 % on some personal/creative project can be very useful, but one shouldn't derive from this the conclusion that loneliness is somehow superior to spending time with friends. If you are unable to handle temporary loneliness this is a skill you might want to cultivate. It might be best to do it by small stepping. Learn to be comfortable spending 1-2 days alone, then move on to larger timeframes. If you are unable to learn how to spend 2 or 3 days alone, working on something that feels important to you, it might be an idea to find a therapist to get help looking for potential underlying reasons for this.

THE NOBLE PERSON IS CHIEFLY CONCERNED WITH WISDOM AND FRIENDSHIP. -EPICURUS